Goodbye 2013, You've been good to me, Hello 2014

I can't believe that 2013 is almost over!  And what a year it has been.  A year ago, as I was contemplating the upcoming 2013 year, I decided that I was going to step out and try things that scared me a bit.  To step up out of my comfort zone, so to speak.  And, I think I mostly succeeded.

Now, some of the things I did were not what others would call "scary", but they were things that I normally wouldn't do.  Such as...

Start this blog.  I had quite a few people comment to me that I should write a blog.  I ignored the first few comments, laughing it off.  But, after a few more people said that to me, I decided to give it some thought.  A blog was certainly WAY out of my comfort zone.  I didn't feel like I could add anything more to what was already out there.  And a blog requires a certain openness and vulnerability that I was most definitely uncomfortable with.  I don't feel like I am particularly wise or knowledgeable.  And, the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I felt.  Then, a little thought started at the back of my pea sized brain-- it said,  "Remember your pledge for the year 2013?  Doesn't this fit perfectly?"  So, this blog was born.  I still don't feel like I am adding much value to the world with this blog, but I am doing it.  And, to my surprise, I am enjoying it.  Who knew?

I traveled to places that were a little beyond my comfort zone.  I went to countries where I didn't speak the language, I didn't know much about their customs, and maybe I was just a little concerned about being there.  One example was when we visited Turkey.  In fact, they were having protests in a part of Istanbul while we were there.  Jeff and I both discussed the wisdom of going into the country with our 15 year old.  In the end, I decided that I wasn't going to let fear of what might happen keep me from experiencing something new.  And what a fabulous experience it was!  Turkey is a wonderful country!  The people were amazing!  The food (which is important to me) was fabulous beyond description!  The landscape beautiful!  This will probably rank as one of my top life experiences.  And, I can't wait to go back!

There were other, smaller things that I did throughout the year.  Such as going out on a small catamaran with Jeff and Keagan as the "captains."  I love them both dearly, but I have a few issues with trusting them to not get me lost at sea or to not break the boat.  And, other than Jeff hitting me in the head with the sail once (he forgot to tell me he was moving the sail), we had a fabulous time!  Although I wouldn't say I conquered my completely unreasonable and non-sensical fear of people touching my eyeball, I did go and sit (mostly)  through an eye exam.  And my eyes are fine.  Which is good, because it may take me another 10 years to work up enough nerve to go back.  These are just some of the  silly little examples of what I did, but the whole process has helped me to  say no less often, and to say yes to new things, more often.  And, it's a process I intend to carry on through the rest of my life.

So now, I am looking at 2014.  And, as I've tried to come up with a goal or theme for the year, I decided to really pray about it.  Now, I would like to tell you that I had this flash of brilliant revelation. I didn't.  But, the words I felt drawn to are these:

Honor  -

"Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing and your barns will brim over with new wine."  Proverbs 3:9-10

"Honor your father and mother, so that you may life long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

This year I will continue to honor God and those around me.  In fact, I will look for new and more ways to do so.

Gratefulness & Thanksgiving --

"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart;  I will tell of all your wonders.  I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High."  Psalm 9:1-2 NLV

"I'm thanking you, God, from a full heart, I am writing the book on your wonders.  I'm whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy;  I'm singing your song, High God."  Psalm 9:1-2 The Message

"I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me."  Psalm 12:6

I will continue to be grateful and express my thanksgiving for all the goodness in my life.  In fact, as  a family we are doing a Good news Jar.  Every time something good happens to us this year, we are going to write it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar.  At the end of the year, we will open up the jar and read them as a family.

Wisdom-

"For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:6

"Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you."  Proverbs 2:11

"A wise woman builds her house."  Proverbs 14:1

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.  This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."
                                                                                                                  Proverbs 3: 5-8

I will continue to pray for wisdom (those of you who have teenagers have a deep understanding of why I need to pray for a large amount of wisdom).  Wisdom in my family decisions, wisdom in my financial decisions, wisdom in my words and actions.  I will continue to seek opportunities to learn new things.

Compassion-

"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."  Proverbs 3:27

"Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God's hand for that person."
                                                                                                Proverbs 3:27 the Message

"A kind hearted woman gains respect."  Proverbs 11:16

"When you're kind to others, you help yourself."  Proverbs 11:17  the message

"The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped."              
                                                                                                Proverbs 11:24-25  the message

"It's criminal to ignore a neighbor in need, but compassion for the poor--what a blessing!"
                                                                                                    Proverbs 14:21  the message

I will continue to look for opportunities to show compassion to others in whatever way I can.  God has blessed me so that I can bless others.  My challenge is to look through eyes of love, not judgement.

Peace & Happiness

"A heart at peace gives life to the body."  Proverbs 14: 30

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful."  Proverbs 15:13

"A twinkle in the eye means joy in the heart, and good news makes you feel fit as a fiddle."
                                                                                            Proverbs 15:30  the Message

"When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him."
                                                                                                           Proverbs 16:7

I will continue to seek peace in my life.  I will promote peace.  I will try to live each day joyfully and peacefully, fully amazed by God's goodness and grace in my life.  I will strive to live in peace with others.  And when worry starts to nip at my mind, I will focus on the fact that God has everything under control.  I will not take myself too seriously and I will remember to laugh at myself often ;)

And finally-- my favorite verse that I am claiming for the year 2014-- drumroll please.....

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."  Proverbs 16:3


Can you tell that one of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Proverbs?  I really can't think of a better way to approach this new year than with the wisdom I find in these verses.  Now, I'm not going to say that I will always succeed, I will probably have gapping failures this year in every area.  I'm completely, and humiliatingly, human.  But, I am going to stumble, run, crawl and walk down this path to the best of my ability.  A little improvement is better than nothing right?  And, you can laugh at me, and with me, as I live my life as gracefully as I can.

So my wish for you for 2014 is that this new year is filled with honor, gratefulness, thanksgiving, wisdom, compassion, peace, and happiness.  My this be the best year yet!

Memories of Christmas Past

Ahhhh... It's the day after Christmas.  Christmas 2013 is done and now a memory.  We had a wonderful Christmas and I hope you did as well.  As I am sitting here, enjoying my coffee in a quiet house, I am remembering Christmases past.  Some are funny memories, some bittersweet, but all are precious.  I thought I'd just share a few with you.

One Christmas, while my brother and I were still in elementary school,  we discovered a couple of our hidden Christmas presents.  Needless to say, we were thrilled at the discovery.  Unfortunately, my brother was a little too excited about the discovery.  I was old enough to know that we needed to keep this discovery under wraps. I knew that if mom and dad found out we had been snooping, it could spell trouble.  When my dad walked through the door, My brother was right there talking away, ignoring the fact that my eyeballs were burning holes through his head and that I was frantically making shut up motions with my arms.  He walked right up to my dad and said, "Sissy and I know what we want for Christmas, and then proceeded to describe, in detail, the toys we had discovered.  My dad, being a smart man, figured out halfway through my brothers speech, that we had found our gifts.  Sigh.....

Then there was the Christmas when I was a teenager where it snowed so much it buried cars and shut down the whole city.  Unfortunately my Dad and a friend of ours (who was staying at our house for Christmas ) had procrastinated on purchasing their wives Christmas gifts.  Since the roads were not drivable, they set out to walk over  to the local grocery store which was about four blocks away.  The blizzard was still taking place, and when they returned, with presents in tow, they were so covered and caked with snow that they were unrecognizable.

Jeff and I's first Christmas as a married couple will always stand out.  We were two college kids with no money.  I was determined to have my fireplace mantel in our little apartment decorated.  Unfortunately, I didn't have money to spare to purchase decorations.  So, I made Jeff stand guard while I went out to the evergreens growing behind our apartment and trimmed off some branches to decorate the mantel with.  Our presents to each other that year were a pair of big, warm socks.  You see, our apartment was all electric heat.  The whole backside of our little one bedroom was all windows.  And, it was the coldest winter on record for Ft. Collins.  Our first heating bill was more than our rent.  So..... we turned the heat down and wore lots of layers.  The socks were all we could afford, and they were also a necessity.

There was Keagan's first Christmas, where due to the fact that he was the first grandchild on both sides of the family, he had an embarrassing amount of gifts to open.  In fact, he had to stop opening presents and take a nap, then resume his playing with the paper and boxes ;).

I remember the year that Keagan wanted to leave scrambled eggs out for Santa, so we did.  I loved the years of creating Santa "snow prints" in the house using Jeff old workbooks and powdered sugar.  The many years of putting out Reindeer food (chex mix).  The Christmas mornings spent just trying to get all the twist ties and safety bindings off of toys so that he could play with them.

I remember the careful way my grandma Clark always unwrapped her presents.  For her, just the fact that she had presents to unwrap remained magical.  She always carefully folded the paper after removing it from the present.  It always reminded me how amazing every gift was, no matter the cost.

I remember my dad doing Christmas Eve family communions at the church, where the congregation came individually as families to have communion together.  We would always be the last family to go and partake, then we would gather at our house for a dinner of Ham Delights and games.

Ahhhhh... wonderful memories.  And this Christmas will join those as a wonderful time of celebration and fellowship.

These memories always remind me of how good life is.  How thankful I am for God's great gift of his son.  Hope you enjoyed this small trip down memory lane.  Merry Christmas!

The Most Beautiful Day.....

This is the time of year where we throw around words like peace, joy, and happy.  And, I truly love those words, and the deep meaning that I associate with them.  However, as I look back on this year, and my life as a whole, only one word comes to mind.  That word is grateful.

As I sit here typing, my house is quiet and calm.  My guys are sleeping.  I am not sleeping because Jeff brought home some chocolate covered coffee beans, which I greatly enjoyed, but are now keeping me awake.  My cat is up with me and he is currently standing in front of my screen and pushing random items off my desk, like pens and papers.  I am looking out my window at the Christmas lights, and I am feeling all of those words I mentioned above:  peace, joy, happiness.  But mostly, I am feeling grateful.

"Every spare moment we have is a chance to practice gratitude."

"God thunders marvelously with His voice;  He does great things which we cannot comprehend."  Job 37:5

I am grateful that I can't sleep right now because it has given me time to sit here and just reflect quietly.  And as I do so, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude and thanksgiving.  My life is filled with infinite blessings.  I can't even count them all, for they are numerous.  I don't even have enough words to express my gratitude as eloquently as I would like.

I am grateful for the materials things, such as my house and my car, etc...  But that's not not what is really stirring this feeling of gratitude.  What I am completely in awe of are the blessings that are a little less tangible.

I am grateful for God's never ending grace and mercy.  I am so grateful that I can screw up royally, and yet still feel the love and grace of God in my life.  I am grateful that every day I can, and do, learn something new.  I am grateful for the shared moments I had today with my son and husband.  I am grateful that today I had the chance to feel the sun on my face, even if it was a little cold outside.  I am grateful for a cat that makes me laugh.  I am grateful for the Christmas music that I have been listening to. And the list goes on and on.  I just feel like my life is an amazing gift, and I'm so thankful for all of it.

My challenge to myself and to you today is to take a little time each day during this busy season and just pause, and be grateful.  To find joy in the ordinary.  Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.

Merry Christmas!

Take a Time Out....

Does it seem like Christmas is rushing in this year?  It sure seems like it to me.  It's almost as if this year is in a hurry to be over with.  You see, I'm a compulsive list maker, and right now, as I am sitting here looking at my list of things to accomplish before years end, I have the distinct feeling that I need to hurry up and rush to get it all done.  Yet, even as I am feeling that compulsion, I am also sensing a need to slow down, soak it all in, and enjoy the little moments that will only happen this year.

I'll admit, I wasn't going to blog today thinking that I really didn't have the time.  And I was going to skip through my breakfast and coffee this morning instead of slowing down and enjoying them in front of the Christmas tree.  But then I began to just think about this past year and about how blessed I am.

So, I decided to slow down and take a time out.  If I don't get everything accomplished on my list for today, I can always do it tomorrow.  But this time to slow down and just enjoy this particular moment today won't come again.  Admittedly, I'll have a different opportunity tomorrow to slow down, but it won't be the same.

So, I took a few moments to just sit back and enjoy the way my coffee tasted.  The way the lights on the Christmas tree cast shadows on the walls.  To enjoy a short cuddle with my cat, and to laugh at him as he went to explore (and chew on) the presents sitting under the tree. To enjoy a peacefully quiet house.

And I am now taking a few minutes to blog and remind you the importance of taking a time out.  To encourage you to take a few brief minutes to just enjoy the moment.  So, watch this video and take a  little time to just relax and enjoy!

The Perfect Gift

Ok..... it's time for me to admit it.  I completely suck at this whole Christmas gift idea.  Not that I don't give gifts at Christmas time or that my gifts are bad.  What I am no good at is waiting until the ACTUAL day to give the gift, especially if it's a good gift.

Let's take this year for example.  My parents came to visit us for Thanksgiving.  I had talked to my husband ahead of time and we agreed that we would have them open their Christmas while they were here on Thanksgiving Day.  Now, in my defense, this gift has involved months and months of planning.  I've known about this gift and have been planning this gift since the springtime.  So, my parents arrive and I'm so excited to see their faces that I totally cave the first night they are here and give them their gift.  FAIL...

My husband's Christmas has already arrived and is sitting in the garage.  Of course, his gift is one that he picked out for himself, but still, this falls in the failure category.  And, there's no way it can fit under the tree.  I guess I could plop a big old bow on it for Christmas day, but what's the point in doing it now? My sons gifts are wrapped and sitting under the tree.  So, I guess that's something.  However, he already knows what it is so that can also count as a FAIL.

You see,  I love the giving part of Christmas.  It's my favorite thing to do.  I especially love to give gifts that are unexpected.  I love to watch the face of someone  when they receive that unexpected gift. For me, the saying that it is more blessed to give than to receive, is true.  I feel so overwhelmed by the blessings that I've been given that to not share that blessing would be, in my mind, criminal.  And I find that the more I try to reach out and bless others, the more blessed I become.

Of course, I learned about giving precious and unexpected gifts from the best.  God's gift of his son to the world was and still is the best, most unexpected, amazing, beautiful gift ever given.  And I am so thankful for that gift.  I'm so overwhelmed by that gift. In my imagination ( and believe me, I have a vast and weird imagination), I can almost sense the joy that God has whenever someone opens up and accepts his wonderful, extravagant, amazing gift.  Wow!

So, this season, I want you to really enjoy giving gifts.  Big, small, or otherwise.  Really take the time to relish in the simple act of giving.  Share that joy.

Well, as you probably know, I love Kid President.  So here is his latest video about the Perfect Gift. And it's my gift to you. Enjoy.

A Picture of Greatness

I am joined with the rest of the world in mourning the loss of Nelson Mandela.  His influence will be felt throughout history.  So today, I pay a small tribute to him by sharing a few of his words.  Thank you Mr. Mandela for your inspiration, wisdom, and determination!

"Difficulties break some men, but make others."

"Great anger and violence can never build a nation.  We are striving to proceed in a manner and towards a result, which will ensure that all our people, both black and white, emerge as victors."

"Without democracy there cannot be peace."

"When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace."

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy.  Then he becomes your partner."

"There is no passion to be found playing small-- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."

"We can change the world and make it a better place.  It is in your hands to make a difference."

"The greatest joy in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination."

"It always seems impossible until it is done."

"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison."

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

"We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right."

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head.  If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart."

"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

"Once a person is determined to help themselves, there is nothing that can stop them."

"There is no such thing as part freedom."

"It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory, when nice things occur.  You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership."

"Sometimes it falls upon a generation to be great.  You can be that generation."

"A good leader can engage in a debate frankly and thoroughly, knowing that at the end he and the other side must be closer, and thus emerge stronger.  You don't have that idea when you are arrogant, superficial, and uninformed."

"If people can learn to hate, they can be taught to love."

Let the games begin....

Wow!  Thanksgiving flew by!  I hope everyone enjoyed the holiday.  My mom and dad flew in and spent the week with us.  We enjoyed a week filled with food and laughter and maybe just a wee bit of competition.  Wait.. did I just say competition?  Yup.  You see, we tend to play games when we are all together.  And although we mostly tend to be mild mannered people, we all like to win.  Which is a problem, because we can't all win.

Now, we don't get nasty about it or anything.  We just tend to do things like question the rules, question a play in the game..... Nothing serious and it's all in good fun. (Unless you are playing a game of Sorry with a group of teenagers and your brother and you decide to get everybody to help you cheat and then he gets mad and stomps off....  I may or may not be guilty.  But that was still fun and funny.)

The best quote of the week came from my son.  We were playing domino's where you are trying to score points by playing tiles in such a way that they add up to a multiple of five.  At the same time you are trying to count what dominos are still left out there and block others from scoring high points.  In the middle of all this seriousness, Keagan blurts out "This game is like being in school. It is making me think too hard."  And so another "family saying" was born and I'm sure we will be using that line again and again in the near future.

I love when we gather around a table and play games.  I love that we look each other in the eye instead of all staring at various screens.  I love that we laugh at each other and ourselves.  I even love that we get a wee bit competitive.  And, as we are playing, we often sit back and tell stories about other family members, some long gone, other memories of times where we sat around different tables and played games.

Playing games is more than just time spent together.  You learn how to win and how to loose with grace. At least in my family you do, because we will call you out if you don't.  And then we will use that graceless instance against you for years to come by telling the story of the time when so and so lost his/her temper or got too cocky.  You learn perseverance.  No one in our family wins because someone "let's" them.  A win is earned.  So, if you loose every game one day, you get up the next day and play again, because, if you stick it out, chances are that eventually you will win one game.  You learn strategy and how to solve complex problems.  And, at least in the case of my family, you learn how to negotiate, and sometimes argue your point.  You also learn how to cooperate with others, carry on conversations, and how to laugh at yourself.  All of these are great life skills.  All of these help strengthen bonds.

Some of my earliest, and best, childhood memories are of my family playing games together.  So, if you are looking for a simple way to make family memories, I encourage you to gather around a board game.  My challenge during this busy season is to remember to take some time to slow down, look each other in the eye, and take part in some friendly(and yes maybe competitive) game play.

Love in action....Who do you admire?

The question was asked, "Who do you most admire in life?"  And, I actually had a lot of answers to that question. I admire a lot of different people for different reasons.  But then I saw this video of this woman,  Mama Hill, and  honestly.. she's my answer to this question.



Wow!  She is love in action.  She is who I should emulate.  She is who I should aspire to be like.  What an amazing woman!

What I truly love about what she is doing is the simplicity of it.  She shares love with all she comes into contact with.  This is something we all can do, wherever we are.

It comes back to that basic desire for human connection.  These days, we are connected all the time.  We are connected by our cell phones, the internet, T.V.'s etc....  And while I appreciate the connection that these items bring, they can be impersonal.  It's hard to hug someone through a piece of technology.  The little smiley face icon cannot possibly take the place of a real, honest, face to face smile.

I think people long to be seen by someone else.  There's something about being physically present with someone that touches the soul.  It's too easy to treat someone in a cold or inhumane manner when you are not looking at them face to face.  As much as technology helps us communicate, it also allows us to keep a distance from others.  And I think our society is instinctively feeling the loss of the soul connection we can feel with someone when we are physically in each others presence.

What brings that young woman in the video to tears is not the physical items that Mama Hill has given her,  it's the face to face interaction.  The fact that another human being actually saw her, actually spent the time to connect with her in a very real and loving way.  That's what has impacted her life.

So the challenge I am going to take from Mama Hill is to make sure that I take the time to connect with people face to face.  When I am out and about, I am going to try to really look at people's faces and smile at them.  It doesn't hurt me to smile at someone.  And, it's a simple way to connect, even if I do not speak to them or see them again.  I am going to actively look for ways to connect with others face to face.  Simple love.  No big or convoluted plans.  How easy is that?

So, Mama Hill, I salute you! You inspire me to be better and do better.  You have a lifelong admirer in me.

And so I ask you, who do you admire?

You've got a Friend in me

When Keagan was little, the movie Toy Story came out.  We all loved this movie, but Keagan especially loved the theme song, You've Got a Friend in Me by the great Randy Newman.  He would go around singing this song to the top of his little lungs.  I loved watching him throw his little head back with abandon and a big smile on his face, with his little missing teeth, singing "you've got a friend in me."  We had a set of Disney music cd's that we would play in the car and Keagan would always say, mom, play that friend song again.  I wish I had recorded him singing this song.

Friendship.... that human connection point.  It's magical.  Jeff always says that I love to meet new people and make new friends.  And it's true.  I love that point when you connect with someone over a shared human experience.  This video illustrates what I'm talking about.




I love this idea.  You know what I find most fascinating about this?  It's not that two people find a connection point-- anyone can do that at any time.  It's that two people took a chance to sit in public in a random ball pit with people they did not know.  They took the time to sit down and connect.  Think about that.  They had to actively seek connection.  *Random thought alert*  Maybe we need to place these ball pits up at the Capital and force our elected officials to sit in the pits together.  Ok.  Moving on...

Back to that actively seeking human connection thought.  I think a craving for some kind of human connection is a universal one.  It crosses cultures, languages, beliefs, etc...  I think deep down, we all share this longing.  So why do some people connect with others easily and often, while other people seem to never make connections?  I think the key is in the word "actively."

Let's face it, relationships, in order to form and grow, require some sort of action on the part of the participants.  You can't just sit there, do nothing, say nothing and expect a relationship to form.  It doesn't work that way.  Friendship is a verb.  It takes action on your part.

"You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get people interested in you."

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."

So, how do you make connections with people?  How do you build friendships?  To me, this is instinctual, so when someone asked me that question I sat there stunned.  My first reaction was to say, "You just do."  But, that wasn't helpful.  So I began to think about it. and let me just say now, that I don't believe that there are hard set rules for friendship. However, I do believe that there are actions that you can take that lead to friendship/human connection.

Be interested in other people.  I find other people's life stories fascinating!  Truly!  Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, "I bet they have some interesting life stories."  I have.  And usually, I find a way to meet them and talk to them.  So, be curious about other people.  Ask them questions.  Don't just sit there and go on and on about yourself.  One of my favorite questions to ask people is "What do you do for fun?"  You know why I like that question?  Because the answer often shows me what they are passionate about.  That question also brings joy to the person who answers it because they are remembering a good and joyful experience. It immediately forms a positive connection with that person.

People's life stories are amazing! I met a woman a couple of years ago who grew up in Berlin with the wall that divided that city. Of course I knew about the wall, in fact I remember President Reagan's speech where he told Gorbachev to "tear down that wall!"  Although it's a powerful lesson in history, it was made more real to me when I listened to Helga describe what it was like growing up with that wall.  We had some neighbors while in Denver who were from Ethiopia.  They had the most beautiful children I have ever seen.  A year after their daughter was born, we were invited to attend their daughters naming celebration.  You see, in their culture, they didn't officially name their children until they were a year old, due to the high rate of infant mortality in their native country. I could go on and on about the amazing things I have learned from just simply taking the time to ask others about their lives.

Make time for other people.  Relationships need time.  Seek out ways to spend time together.  And don't wait for other people to make the first move.   I've heard many people comment about how they would like make friends with others, yet they are always waiting for someone else to make the first effort.  Step up to the plate and initiate friendships.   Invite people over for dinner.  Remember, true relationships must be reciprocal.  My deepest friendships are with those who I spend the most time with.  A one sided friendship isn't a true friendship. And don't use the excuse of "I'm busy."  Everyone is busy.  We make time for what we value in life.  Place value on your friendships by giving them the time they deserve.

"When you stop expecting people to be perfect you can like them for who they are."

"I don't have to agree with you to like and respect you."

I think the biggest misconception about friendship is that in order to be friends you must see eye to eye on everything.  Gah!  That's just so boring!  And it's also an unachievable goal.  You are NEVER, EVER, going to completely agree with someone 100% of the time.  And, I've watched people drop great, deep, amazing friendships because they can't agree on one subject.  Now, I know that there are sometimes relationships that are irreconcilable.  But I think those time are very rare.  I prefer to focus on the areas where we agree.  On the things we have in common.  I prefer to agree to disagree and move on.  My life is too short, my time is to precious, to waste it on anger and disagreements.  Believe me, I have friends who view life radically differently than I do.  But do you know why our friendship lasts?  It's because we have made a human connection at some time.  And I value them both as a fellow human being and as a friend.  They provide me with more than a one dimensional way to see the world. Their friendships enrich my life, challenge me, and in a weird way, help me to clearly define what I believe and why I believe it.  There is value in that.

So today I  challenge  and encourage you to look for ways to form human connections with others.  True human connection brings joy to your life.

I'll leave you today with the words to the song that my son loved when he was younger and a few photos of human connection moments.  Enjoy!

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

When the road looks rough ahead

And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed

You just remember what your old pal said

Boy, you've got a friend in me

Yeah, you've got a friend in me 

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

You got troubles and I got 'em too

There isn't anything I would do for you

We stick together, we can see it through

'Cause you're got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am

Bigger and stronger too

Maybe

But none of them 

Will ever love you the way I do

It's me and you boy

And as the years go by

Our friendship will never die

You're gonna see its our destiny

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

People of Influence....

So, I will admit that this blog is inspired by a Youtube video I watched about gratitude and happiness.   In the video they had various people write down the name of a person who had a positive influence on them. They also had them write a paragraph about this person.  Then, they had them call this person over the phone right then and there and read the paragraph to them.  I believe it was one of the most touching things I have ever witnessed.  And, it is what inspires this post today.  There are a few people that I want to publicly acknowledge.  I want others to understand how amazing these people really are.

To My Dad (Paul Clark):  Even though I'm a grown woman, a part of me will always be your little girl, and you will always be my first hero.  You taught me how to serve God with my whole heart.  I watched growing up as you gave time, comfort, love, and care to others in need. When you dedicated a new baby at the church I learned how to celebrate new  life and family.  When you married a young couple you taught me about commitment and love.  When you conducted a funeral, you taught me how to grieve but still cling to the joy that will some day come when we  all are reunited up in heaven.  You gave me a love for the beauty of the outdoors (even if I still don't like camping).  I get my love for playing board and card games from you (and probably my competitiveness).  Your love for reading has inspired my love for reading. We share a sense of humor (although I think my sense of humor sometimes tests you).  You are a fantastic Grandpa!  When I think of words like integrity and honor, I think of you.  I love you Dad!  You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.

To My Mom (Verna Clark):  Your are my hero!  You taught me to love fiercely and without reservation.  You have taught me the importance of hard work.  You are the embodiment of a woman who is beautiful inside and out!  You have taught me the importance of service and sacrifice.  You gave me my love for music (remember when we sang the song "Second Hand Faith" together?).  You have shown me how to live fully, no matter what the circumstances.  You have taught me to face life with courage, joy, integrity, faith, and to embrace it with everything I have!  You have taught me how to give generously.  You have taught me how to forgive others generously.  You gave me my love for good food! You have taught me to try new things fearlessly. Your are an amazing Grandma! You are a woman worthy of great honor, and I hope that you feel honored not only today, but for the rest of your days!  When I think of words like courage, dignity, and joy, I think of you.  I love you Mom!  You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.

To My Husband (Jeff Benintendi):  You are my Superman!  You have taught me the true meaning of the word love.  You have encouraged me to live life fearlessly.  You have taken every good thing thing in my life and improved upon it, expanded it, and made it bigger and better than I could have ever dreamed.   You are my prince charming.  You are my best friend.  You are handsome, smart, funny, and courageous.  You are a man of integrity and honor.  You are faithful and you keep your promises.  You make me laugh (you don't always mean to, but you do).  You are not afraid to try new things.  You are my biggest cheerleader.  You have given me a love for the ocean and exploration.  You are an awesome father!  You are an unbelievable husband!  You are an amazing son!  You are a true man of God!  You are a blessing!  You are a loyal friend!  You are my true North, my lighthouse when I am lost, and my home.  I love you Jeff!  You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.

There are many other people in my life who have greatly impacted my life, but my blog can only be so long, and I am already sitting here a sobbing crying mess.  Just know, that I am grateful for you!

I encourage you today to do this in your own life.  To let someone who has greatly impacted your life know how thankful you are for them!

"I can no other answer make but thanks, thanks; and ever thanks."  Shakespeare

Just call me a rule breaker....

On a recent visit to D.C we went to Arlington National Cemetery.  They had this sign posted to remind people of the rules and regulations there.  It also was a reminder that this was a place that deserved to be treated with respect.   As we walked through, there were a lot of signs with rules to follow posted everywhere.  It was interesting to me how many of those signs they had. 

I've heard people say that they do not want to become a Christ follower/Christian because there are just too many rules to follow.  Which led me to start thinking about how many rules and laws we actually have to follow just in every day life.

Do you know that there are over 900 Traffic laws on the books in the state where I live?  Wow!  That's a lot of rules.  And, I discovered, while helping my teenager study for his learner's permit, that I'm quite the little rule breaker.  Hmmmm.  That's a lot of rules to follow, but I seem to have no problem trying to follow them (even if I break some of them at times).

And, although I see the value of rules and laws, both as a citizen and as a Christ Follower,  there seems to be a lot of "rules" out there that are just plain ridiculous.  Case in point.... I began to look up some of the obscure, ridiculous, and often weird laws that have made the books here in the U.S.A. and this is what I've discovered:

Apparently we have a larger camel population than I knew, and we have laws in place about their usage and what not.

  In Arizona it is prohibited to hunt camels.

  In Idaho you may not fish  while on a camels back.

  In Nevada it is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

And it's not just camels.  We have a lot of rules regarding all kinds of wildlife.

In Missouri it is unlawful to drive down the highway with an uncaged bear in your car.  And Massachusetts doesn't allow you to drive with a gorilla in the back seat of any car.

In Alaska  it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose and it is also an    offense to push a live moose out of an airplane.  Ummmm.... ok.

In Little Rock, Arkansas it is unlawful to walk one's cow down main street after 1p.m. on Sunday.
(I'll file that away for future reference)

In California it is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide (why would you want to?).  And while in California remember that it is illegal to lick the toads (again, why would you want to?).  You also cannot hunt moths under a street light and it is illegal to drive MORE THAN 2000 sheep down Hollywood Blvd.  Oh, and you can't carry a fish into a bar.  (So, this guy walks into a bar in California carrying a fish and ends up doing 15 to life.)

Termite farms are not allowed within Miami City Limits.  OK.  Got it. And you may not bring your
pig to the beach. That's ok, they tend to sunburn anyway.

If you are visiting Atlanta, you can't tie your giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.  And if you
are in Louisiana you may not tie your alligator to a fire hydrant.

In Galesburg, Illinois you can't keep a smelly dog.  In Maryland it's illegal to take a lion to the movies.  He will just have to watch the Lion King at home. You may not use an elephant to plow your cotton fields in North Carolina.

In Michigan it is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets. In Kentucky it is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow.  In Tennessee it is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.  And in Ohio it's illegal to get a fish drunk.  It is illegal to go whale fishing while in Nebraska.  Ok, let that last one sink in.  If you still don't get it, look at a map (here's a hint-- what lake in Nebraska houses whales?).

In Kansas no one may wear a bee in your hat.  You can't cross Wisconsin state lines with a duck atop your head.   And remember  that you cannot take photos of rabbits in Wyoming from January to April.

We also seem to have problems with people using their missiles and guns inappropriately along with using nuclear devices in the wrong places.

In Colorado throwing missiles at cars is illegal. In Destin, Florida torpedoes may not be set off in the city.  In Montana it is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket to city council meetings.  Missiles may not be shot at  parade participants in  Wisconsin.  In South carolina you can fire a missile, you just have to get the proper permit first.

In Washington you may not carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length.  Ummmmm,  I'm 5' 4", I don't think that will be a problem for me.  It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, CANNON, revolver (isn't that a gun?) or other explosive weapon at a wedding (because nothing says our love is going to last forever like firing a cannon). In Deming, New Mexico, make sure you don't hunt in the Mountain View Cemetery, it's illegal (seriously?  What's wrong with people!) And if you have participated in in a public duel in West Virginia, you need to kiss your political career goodbye because you cannot hold a public office.

In California detonating a Nuclear Device within the city limits will result in a $500 fine.  Oh, and if you are in Aspen, Colorado,  make sure you do not fire your catapult at a building.

Everywhere you look there rules and regulations.  Some of them are silly.

Whistling underwater is prohibited in West Virginia.  In California bowling down a sidewalk is illegal. In Connecticut it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.  The molestation of trash cans is banned in Dayton, Florida. One armed piano players must perform for free in Iowa.  Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of anothers hamburger.  Make sure you don't fall asleep outside on top of a refrigerator in Pennsylvania.  Don't lie down and fall asleep in the middle of a cheese factory in South Dakota.  In Delaware getting married on a dare is grounds for annulment  (I would have thought that one would be on the books in Nevada).  In Montana it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. (hehehe , that one stirs up a funny mental picture of Jeff's car and ice picks).   And whatever you do, do not walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin in Utah.  At a wake in Massachusetts mourners may eat no more than 3 sandwiches.  Actually, I think that last one may be practical now that I think about it.

And some of our laws are downright disturbing and strange.

It is illegal to cause a catastrophe in Utah.  It's illegal to sell one's eye in Texas (say what?).  In Charleston, South Carolina the Fire department apparently has the right to blow up your house.  No one may bite off another's leg in Rhode Island (I seriously don't even want to know). In Sea Isle City in New Jersey there will be no boiling of bones on the property (ewwwwww). Drivers in Oregon must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk.  Sounds to me like drivers in Oregon need to learn how to drive on the road.  In Georgia is it illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair. Huh.  That seems to be all I hear at a fair is disturbing sounds. It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street in Pensacola, Florida.  Fines go up according to the contents of the barrel (so what would be the fine for having a body in there?).  At Satellite Beach in Florida persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex. That creates a disturbing mental picture.  In Indiana make sure you do not throw an old computer across the street at your neighbor.  In Maine,  advertisements may not be placed in a cemetery. (Truly?)  If you are going to bite someone in Louisiana, make sure you bite them with your natural teeth.  Biting with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."  In Michigan,  it is LEGAL for a robber to file a lawsuit if he or she got hurt in your house while robbing it.  Nice.   And finally, the last law.... in New Jersey it is illegal to wear a bullet proof vest while committing a murder.

So, I guess my point in all this is that we all live with rules and regulations all the time.  And many of the rules and laws are not really needed or useful.  Some of these rules are just made up by politicians and lawmakers.  As far as the rules for being a  Christian, you should measure any "rule" that is told to you against what the Bible says.  There are a lot of "rules" that are stated that are made up by mankind.  They don't have any basis in what God asks you to do.

I'm not saying that I'm against rules and law.  They play a big role in keeping our society in order.  They can give us the proper guidance to do what is right.  I'm just saying don't get so caught up in it all, that you forget to use common sense.


And, here's how I view being a Christ follower (and I will once again state that I  am not a minister nor do I proclaim to be a great theological expert) for me there are really 2 big rules that I follow.
1.  Love God.  2. Love others.  The rest of the stuff tends to sort itself out.  So, if you are hesitant about being in a relationship with God because of the rules, I ask you to start with those 2 basics.  And then, begin to read the Bible and pray.  God will lead you in the right direction.

Focus on God's ability to care for you....

"It's not denial.  I'm just very selective about the reality I accept."

I have been having some interesting conversations of late within my many circles of friends.  During these conversations I have noticed two distinct viewpoints.  One viewpoint is that the world is spiraling desperately downward and there is no hope.  Another is that although there are big problems facing our world, there is also hope.  Any guess as to where I fall in this conversation?

"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic.  It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, and kindness."

You guessed it.  I fall into the second category of thinkers.  I think some of that is just a part of my nature, a part of who I am.  I tend to be a hopeful person.  Now, that doesn't mean I don't worry about things or issues.  It just means I don't let worry control me.  You see, I've read the end of the book (Bible) and I know how it all ends.  *Spoiler alert*  God wins.

I love the following scripture:

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  And why do you worry about clothes?  See how the lilies of the field grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."   Matthew 6:26-31, 33-34

Worry messes with your focus.  It redirects you.  Worrying focuses on yourself and your problems.  The scripture above clearly states where your focus should be.  Your focus should be on Him  - seek first his kingdom and his righteousness.  Worrying too much stops you from focusing on God.

I'm reminded of the story of when the Israelites, having escaped Egypt, sent the 12 spies into Canaan to scope out the land that God had promised them.  Ok, so let's ponder for a moment what God had already done up until this point.  He had provided them safe passage out of slavery.  I always find it interesting that not only did the Egyptians let them go, they let them take their gold and silver.  (Exodus 12:35-36) Then God used a cloud and pillar of fire to guide them in the wilderness so that they would not be lost.  God parted the sea... stop and think about that.... The SEA parted... and they escaped the Egyptian army.  God provided Manna, quail, and water for them in the desert!  God promised them that he would help them overtake many armies and that he would give them the promised land (Exodus 33:1-3). Time and time again, God had taken care of the nation of Israel.

So now we are at the point where God is going to give them what was promised.  And this is where we pick up the scripture:

"We went to the land to which you sent us and Oh!  It does flow with milk and honey!  Just look at this fruit!  The only thing is that the people who live there are fierce, their cities are huge and well fortified.  Worse yet, we saw descendants of the giant Anak, Amalekites are spread out in the Negev; Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites hold the hill country; and the Canaanites are established on the Mediterranean Sea and along the Jordon."  Number 13:27-29  the message

The first part of those scriptures starts out well.  Basically, they are saying, yes, this land is exactly what God had said it was.  It's amazing!  And then comes the but.....  They were basically saying, I know that the land is amazing BUT there are a lot of things to worry about.  Giants.   Giants are worrisome.  And the people are fierce.  There are big obstacles in the way like big, fortified walls.  Worry, worry, worry..... Well, we all know what happened.  They ended up not going into the promised land at that time.  All because they chose to focus on what worried them.  You see, worry stole their focus (and for some, their promise).  Because they focused on all the bad stuff, they forgot the miracles that God had already done.  They forgot the promise that God had given them in Exodus 33.

"When trouble comes, focus on God's ability to care for you."  Charles Stanley

We can learn an important lesson from the Israelites history.  I know that there is a lot to worry about.  I know that there are "giants" out there today.  I know that  there are "obstacles"out there in our hill country.  I know that we can come into contact with some "fierce" enemies. But I also know  that God has a promised land for me.  If I stay focused on God-- the daily miracles He performs in my life, His promises that He has made, the love He has for me... He will direct me, protect me, and provide for me while I'm on the path set before me.

So, the challenge today is to not let worry become your focus.  Instead, focus on the promises of God, knowing that He is in control of all things.  Notice, I didn't say not to worry, because, if I'm honest, I have times where I am greatly worried.  But I can choose what I focus on.

I'll leave you today with a photo from the ruins of Ephesus.  There is no longer a great city here.  Just some ruins of a once thriving city from a long ago time.  As we walked around, this scene struck me.  It's a place where they have put some recovered sarcophaguses (minus bodies) in this sort of flat space.  They caught my eye, but so did all the wildflowers growing around them.  So, when you look at this photo you can focus on the symbols of death (sarcophaguses), or you can focus on the symbols of life (wildflowers).  Your focus is up to you.

Today I will not roll my eyes at anyone......

"Today, I will not roll my eyes at anyone."

Ok... I admit it.  There are times, and sometimes there are multiple moments in a day, where I find myself rolling my eyes at something someone is doing or saying.  And yes, I know it's not a very grown up thing to do, but  it's often better for me to roll my eyes than to open my mouth and say what I am thinking.  I am definitely one of those people that should put a little thought into what I say before saying it.

And that's not all I do wrong.  Apparently (according to pinterest, various how to and self improvement books, T.V. shows, random people at the mall, church, grocery store etc...) there's a whole slew of things I do wrong.  According to "them" I am the the multi-tasking queen of doing multiple things wrong all at the same time.  It  is time for me to just stand here in my wrongness and be wrong.  Depending on who you listen to:  I vote for the wrong people, I make poor parenting decisions, I spend my money inappropriately, I dress too conservatively and too young for my age, I don't eat the right food, I'm not educated enough and yet I'm too educated, I'm too compassionate, yet not compassionate enough, I'm too short, I'm too fat, I enjoy my life too much, I'm too proud of my family, I'm too lenient on my son and yet too hard on him, I clean my house wrong, I'm too outspoken yet I don't speak up enough, I pray too much and yet I don't spend enough time in prayer, I'm too spiritual yet not spiritual enough, I don't iron clothes (that's not changing), I don't attend enough church services, I'm too friendly and yet too involved in my clique of people, I have non-Christian friends (I don't even know why that is a bad thing, but whatever), I have too much money and yet not enough, I'm too generous and yet not generous enough, my house is too big, my house is too small, I don't work out enough, I don't work hard enough, I follow too many rules and yet I break too many rules, I'm a feminist and yet I am antifeminist, I'm too accepting and at the same time I'm judgmental, I drive the wrong car, I live in the wrong neighborhood, I travel too much, I listen to the wrong kind of music, I like to dance, I sing too loud yet not enough, I watch movies, I spend too much time with my family yet not enough time with my family, and on and on and on.

And at the same time I'm having all of these judgements thrown at me, I find myself  throwing these same judgmental statements out on others I come in contact with.  And just because someone else may be making  critical statements about me does not give me the right, or make it right, when I turn around and do the same thing.  And, if truth be known, that's what I really AM doing wrong.  Not those other things that I mentioned above.  My greatest errors in life happen when I chose to look at others with  critical eyes rather than with  loving eyes.  Hmmm.....

"If you judge people you have no time to love them."  Mother Teresa

"You can't be compassionate when you're in a judgmental state of mind."

"Kind mercy wins over harsh judgement every time."  James 2:13 the message

"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others.  It is gentle and reasonable, over flowing with mercy and blessings."  James 3:17 message

"Don't bad mouth each other, friends.  It's God's word, His message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk.  You're supposed to be honoring the message, not writing graffiti all over it.  God is in charge of deciding human destiny.  Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?"  James 4:11-12

I love the following story a former pastor of mine.  Dary Northrop tells about the power of love versus the power of judgement.  Here's the story in Pastor Northrop's own words:

"One Sunday a young woman attended service and was radically saved.  She was a stripper.  She found the Lord in spite of our best efforts.  Her friends came to her water baptism, and they found the Lord.  These were not the girls next door that many churches attract.  Soon they were joined by all kinds of people--people with body piercings, people with tattoos-- people whose appearance seemed to run counter to what we thought appropriate for a church.

These people did not seem to fit into our Sunday School classes or small groups.  At first, we were unable to minister to these new believers.  We could not connect with their world, and that opened our eyes.  So we determined we would change.  Out of that determination our mission and theme, Let Love Live, was born.  Those three words gave us the power to tell our visitors that no matter who they are or where they come from, we will let love live.

We discovered that God's love is alive and well.  Christians often put God's love in a box and try to define it through prejudicial filters.  When you love people the way they are, you value them as God's creation.  That kind of love changes your perspective.  You begin to see their God-given value."

If we stop being judgmental to others, we could start focusing on the things that actually matter."

"Make a conscious decision to look for what is right and pleasing in others.  Create a new habit of complimenting those around you.  Turn judgements into blessings."

"All around you there are people who are hurting, people who need your love, people who need your encouragement.  Let God use your gifts and talents to bless them."

"I don't have to agree with you to like and respect you."

So, I'm asking myself and you this question, Do you lead with judgement or encouragement?   I will be the first to admit that I'm am completely imperfect.  I am in need of forgiveness, compassion, understanding, love, and encouragement every day.  I am often bothered when someone makes what I feel is a judgmental or condemning statement about me, or my family, or my friends.  So why would I turn around and do something that is hurtful to me, to someone else?

This is a big issue, and I'm still working on it.  Learning to lead with compassion first.  I may not agree with an opinion you have, or an action you take, but I will agree with God's view of you.

And how does God view you?

You are an extremely talented, gifted, beautiful, human being who is greatly, immeasurably, infinitely loved by God.  You are so loved by God that He sent His only son to die for you.  You are so important to God that he wants to spend the rest of eternity with you.  You are so valued by God that He wants to bring healing, joy, and fulfillment to your life.  You are not insignificant.  You are not what other people say or think about you. You have a future, a purpose, and a hope before you.

So that's how God sees you.  That's how I am going to choose to see you too.  And, that's how God sees me, and that is how I am going to see me as well.

I'll leave you with a couple of photos from a fountain in Florence, Italy.  When we were there our guide was telling us that they called this fountain the "ugly" statue.  Now, admittedly, they were judging this piece against Michelangelo's "The David", which sets a high standard.  But as she was talking about all of the things that make this statue "ugly" such as lack of proportion, the type of stone used, etc.... I found myself looking at it and finding beauty instead.  Isn't that just the perfect story and perspective for this day?  Oh, and forgive the nakedness.... they do a lot of naked in Europe, much to my sons great embarrassment.

Don't be afraid of change....

"Change is upon us.  We can choose to see it as frightening and incapacitating or we  can embrace the opportunities and move forward with hope."

Yup, fall is here.  All around my neighborhood the leaves are changing and falling off.  Although I love all the color, I'm always a little sad when fall comes around.  Gone are the sunny days, in comes the moodiness of rain and fog.  But it is beautiful!  I'm trying to not mourn summer so much and to fully embrace fall. It's a work in progress (I'm a sunshine kind of girl).

Let's face it, most of the time we look forward to change like I look forward to fall.  We might see the beauty of it, but we still mourn what was.  We long for the familiar.  We forget how hot the days of summer were, how sweaty and uncomfortable.  Have you ever heard someone talk about the good old days?  I think sometimes hindsight is not really twenty/twenty.  I think instead you look through rose tinted lenses.  

"Old ways won't open new doors."

I once heard a woman say that she wished she had been born back in the old west pioneer days.  She longed for that simpler way of life.  Hmmmmm, really?  I don't.  I will fully admit that I dearly love modern conveniences like electricity, indoor plumbing, heating and A/C.  I completely embrace and love my computer, cell phone, and T.V.  I am also a fan of things like modern medicine, automobiles, and refrigeration.  I have no desire to go back to the days of old.  None.  I like the fact that I can jump on an airplane and within 10 hours be in a totally different country on a completely different continent.   The whole traveling long distances on horseback or by wagon, while trying to hunt for my food and water, has no appeal for me.  What-so-ever!  Ugh!  I'm very grateful that I was born in this time period and in this country.

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new."

Yet, even as I embrace some of the new things, I find myself fighting some changes.  It's a losing battle.  Some things are going to change whether I want them to or not.  Like, my son is going to grow up.  He will not remain a little boy.  In fact, he hasn't been a little boy for some time now.  Seasons will come and go.  My eyesight will change, my body will change, etc.  Jaguar will keep messing with the body style of it's cars, thus making me less likely to like and buy their cars (that was me being sarcastic, sort of.  Seriously, stop messing with the design! ).  It's just part of the process of life.  

"God never created us to reach one level and then stop.  When you stop learning you stop growing."

"I'm not afraid of change, I'm more afraid of staying the same."

"Change is the essence of life.  Be willing to surrender who you are for what you could become."

"If you want to change you have to be willing to be uncomfortable."

"If it doesn't challenge you is doesn't change you."

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."

But, even though I find myself sometimes resisting change, I never, ever, ever, want to stay exactly the same.  I don't want things to always be the same.  How boring life would be if nothing ever changed.  Plus, a lot of the changes I have experienced have, in the end, improved my life.  I've learned something, become a better person, been more fulfilled because of change.  I believe that we all have that underlying desire to change.  I don't know of anyone who would say that they wouldn't want to be a better person.  They may not want to do the work it takes to be a better person, but I believe the desire is in all of us.  

Change means growth, and growth is often uncomfortable.  My son is still growing, and usually I know a growth spurt is about to come because he starts complaining that his joints and bones ache.  They are aching because of the changes taking place in his body.  The aches are not fun, but the results are good.  Growth is a good thing, even if it comes from some painful circumstances.  Growth makes pain worth it.  If all you had was a painful experience, but never grew, that would be frustrating.  I would suggest that if you are going through some painful changes, that you begin to look for ways you can grow and learn from the experience.  

Change is often associated with challenge as well.  Some challenges are harder than others.  But, when challenges are met, change occurs.  Challenges can make you learn something about yourself. They can push you to achieve more than you thought possible.  They can cause you to gain insight about yourself.  Challenges can even solidify faith and belief.  

"If you don't like how things are, change it.  You are not a tree!"

"Accept what you can't change.  Change what you can't accept."

However, I have discovered the best thing about change.  Change can bring empowerment and hope to your life.  A life filled without hope is disheartening.  It's disempowering.  And it's not how we were created to live.  We were created with the freedom to chose.  God gave us free will to chose whether or not we want to change.  I think when you step out in faith and choose to follow God, you are, in essence embracing change.  A change of heart. People think that becoming a God follower is all about loosing your freedom of choice.  I would argue instead, that it is the opposite.  I believe, when you choose God, you are choosing to change yourself  for the better.  You are choosing to add hope and faith and fulfillment to your life.  But, it is a choice and a change that you must make for yourself.  No one can force it on you.  In fact, God doesn't force it upon you.  The power to chose this change in your life lies in your hands.

Change can be scary.  And it can be painful.  But it is going to happen.  The best way I know to deal with change is to try and learn from it and to grow from it. So, in a way, hindsight really is twenty/twenty.  And, although I still may fear some changes, I feel more empowered when I focus on the results rather than on the process.  So, when illness struck my family and brought some painful changes, it was hard.  But, this change helped solidify my trust in God and encouraged me to value the time spend with my loved ones.   When we moved across the U.S. to a new state where we knew no one, the change  brought us new friends, new blessings, and new experiences.  Change can be hard and good at the same time.

So, my continuing challenge for you and for me is to be more reflective about change and how I react to it.  It's a process.  And I'm sure that change will be teaching me new things until the day I die.  So don't be afraid of change.  Instead, embrace what change is teaching you.

I started the blog off with a photo I took the other day while walking through my neighborhood and I'll end with a few more photos of the changing fall leaves.