Ok... I admit it. There are times, and sometimes there are multiple moments in a day, where I find myself rolling my eyes at something someone is doing or saying. And yes, I know it's not a very grown up thing to do, but it's often better for me to roll my eyes than to open my mouth and say what I am thinking. I am definitely one of those people that should put a little thought into what I say before saying it.
And that's not all I do wrong. Apparently (according to pinterest, various how to and self improvement books, T.V. shows, random people at the mall, church, grocery store etc...) there's a whole slew of things I do wrong. According to "them" I am the the multi-tasking queen of doing multiple things wrong all at the same time. It is time for me to just stand here in my wrongness and be wrong. Depending on who you listen to: I vote for the wrong people, I make poor parenting decisions, I spend my money inappropriately, I dress too conservatively and too young for my age, I don't eat the right food, I'm not educated enough and yet I'm too educated, I'm too compassionate, yet not compassionate enough, I'm too short, I'm too fat, I enjoy my life too much, I'm too proud of my family, I'm too lenient on my son and yet too hard on him, I clean my house wrong, I'm too outspoken yet I don't speak up enough, I pray too much and yet I don't spend enough time in prayer, I'm too spiritual yet not spiritual enough, I don't iron clothes (that's not changing), I don't attend enough church services, I'm too friendly and yet too involved in my clique of people, I have non-Christian friends (I don't even know why that is a bad thing, but whatever), I have too much money and yet not enough, I'm too generous and yet not generous enough, my house is too big, my house is too small, I don't work out enough, I don't work hard enough, I follow too many rules and yet I break too many rules, I'm a feminist and yet I am antifeminist, I'm too accepting and at the same time I'm judgmental, I drive the wrong car, I live in the wrong neighborhood, I travel too much, I listen to the wrong kind of music, I like to dance, I sing too loud yet not enough, I watch movies, I spend too much time with my family yet not enough time with my family, and on and on and on.
And at the same time I'm having all of these judgements thrown at me, I find myself throwing these same judgmental statements out on others I come in contact with. And just because someone else may be making critical statements about me does not give me the right, or make it right, when I turn around and do the same thing. And, if truth be known, that's what I really AM doing wrong. Not those other things that I mentioned above. My greatest errors in life happen when I chose to look at others with critical eyes rather than with loving eyes. Hmmm.....
"If you judge people you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa
"You can't be compassionate when you're in a judgmental state of mind."
"Kind mercy wins over harsh judgement every time." James 2:13 the message
"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, over flowing with mercy and blessings." James 3:17 message
"Don't bad mouth each other, friends. It's God's word, His message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You're supposed to be honoring the message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?" James 4:11-12
I love the following story a former pastor of mine. Dary Northrop tells about the power of love versus the power of judgement. Here's the story in Pastor Northrop's own words:
"One Sunday a young woman attended service and was radically saved. She was a stripper. She found the Lord in spite of our best efforts. Her friends came to her water baptism, and they found the Lord. These were not the girls next door that many churches attract. Soon they were joined by all kinds of people--people with body piercings, people with tattoos-- people whose appearance seemed to run counter to what we thought appropriate for a church.
These people did not seem to fit into our Sunday School classes or small groups. At first, we were unable to minister to these new believers. We could not connect with their world, and that opened our eyes. So we determined we would change. Out of that determination our mission and theme, Let Love Live, was born. Those three words gave us the power to tell our visitors that no matter who they are or where they come from, we will let love live.
We discovered that God's love is alive and well. Christians often put God's love in a box and try to define it through prejudicial filters. When you love people the way they are, you value them as God's creation. That kind of love changes your perspective. You begin to see their God-given value."
If we stop being judgmental to others, we could start focusing on the things that actually matter."
"Make a conscious decision to look for what is right and pleasing in others. Create a new habit of complimenting those around you. Turn judgements into blessings."
"All around you there are people who are hurting, people who need your love, people who need your encouragement. Let God use your gifts and talents to bless them."
"I don't have to agree with you to like and respect you."
So, I'm asking myself and you this question, Do you lead with judgement or encouragement? I will be the first to admit that I'm am completely imperfect. I am in need of forgiveness, compassion, understanding, love, and encouragement every day. I am often bothered when someone makes what I feel is a judgmental or condemning statement about me, or my family, or my friends. So why would I turn around and do something that is hurtful to me, to someone else?
This is a big issue, and I'm still working on it. Learning to lead with compassion first. I may not agree with an opinion you have, or an action you take, but I will agree with God's view of you.
And how does God view you?
You are an extremely talented, gifted, beautiful, human being who is greatly, immeasurably, infinitely loved by God. You are so loved by God that He sent His only son to die for you. You are so important to God that he wants to spend the rest of eternity with you. You are so valued by God that He wants to bring healing, joy, and fulfillment to your life. You are not insignificant. You are not what other people say or think about you. You have a future, a purpose, and a hope before you.
So that's how God sees you. That's how I am going to choose to see you too. And, that's how God sees me, and that is how I am going to see me as well.
I'll leave you with a couple of photos from a fountain in Florence, Italy. When we were there our guide was telling us that they called this fountain the "ugly" statue. Now, admittedly, they were judging this piece against Michelangelo's "The David", which sets a high standard. But as she was talking about all of the things that make this statue "ugly" such as lack of proportion, the type of stone used, etc.... I found myself looking at it and finding beauty instead. Isn't that just the perfect story and perspective for this day? Oh, and forgive the nakedness.... they do a lot of naked in Europe, much to my sons great embarrassment.
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