"I'm always disappointed when a liars pants don't actually catch on fire."
"Your call is very important to us, so please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo."
"One day an insane person is going to threaten me with a gun and I'm going to make some stupid joke and that's how my life will end."
"If anyone ever texts me, "who is this?" I always answer "Jake from State farm."
"19 Kids and Counting, Sister Wives, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Honey Boo Boo are all on The Learning Channel. What exactly are we learning?"
"I don't have an Instagram or Twitter account so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops."
"Mirror: Oh, you look so good today! Camera: LOL, no.."
"Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?"
"Thank you for voicing that terrible idea and making this meeting last even longer."
"The question asked, Have you ever been convicted of a crime? followed by Explain why. So I put "no" and "good lawyer."
"I need to talk to you" is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you've ever done in your life.
"OK, so I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending."
Ok, so now on to one of my favorite funny stories from our big European trip this summer.
It involves this photo. And, I must admit, I'm laughing so hard just looking at this I almost can't type. I will stop right now and apologize to my son and husband for this photo. I don't have one of me or I would put it up also.
Anyway, I had signed us up for a tour while in Izmir, Turkey that would take us out to tour Ephesus and then ended with a traditional Turkish/Roman meal. Sounds good so far. The tour of Ephesus was amazing! Our guide was fantastic as she walked through and told us about the historical and Biblical significance of this city. After spending about 4 hours walking around, we climbed into our tour bus and headed to a nearby hotel for our lunch. As we pull up, the hotel looks gorgeous. I'm starving and had recently discovered a deep love for Turkish food while in Istanbul. I'm excited and we all agreed that I booked a great tour!
Then, we step inside. As we walk down the hallway to where we will be eating, we begin to see various men and women dressed up in togas. Okaaaaay. It's a little weird, but we will play along. They smile and say, "Merhaba" which is hello in Turkish. The men and women are divided up. Women with women, men with men, and before I can even blink they are taking my camera off of me and placing a toga on me. WHAT????? I look over at Jeff and Keagan and see the same thing happening to them. Of course, they are staring at me with a look of "What did you sign us up for?"
I'm trying not to offend anyone, but of course, this whole thing has caught me as funny. I held it together pretty well until I saw them slap the fake olive wreaths on top of Jeff and Keagan's head. Then they slap a fake floral wreath on top of my head. Now I'm full on cackling! This is the funniest thing EVER! And, we don't speak the language, and my poor, poor teenage son is not nearly as amused by this as I am. Then, in all seriousness, we are asked if we would now like to take a family portrait, standing there, in this hotel, with fake togas on, olive and floral wreaths slightly askew. We totally should have done it. I would have turned it into my Christmas Card. But, one look at my son and husband, and I knew I couldn't do it to them. I did manage to snap this one photo. Just look at their faces! We were then ushered to a table to sit with 9 other stunned and embarrassed looking tourists, all dressed in the same manner, with floral and olive wreaths slightly askew also.
The meal itself was fantastic! Great food, and we were able to meet some fantastic people from around the world at that lunch. But best of all, what a great and funny memory. This will probably keep me laughing all day.
Have a Fun Friday!
Oh my gosh! I SO understand your laughter at the mentioned phrases. I must share a few that have left me crippled with laughter. I was working a nightshift in the ED with Leon years ago. He was interviewing and assessing my patients and it was around 4 am (keep in mind, at 4 am in the ED everyone gets the giggles). We had a 70ish year old gentleman whose family brought in because he was a bit confused. Leon had been asking him various questions, did he know where he was, was he in any pain, etc. Leon's next question to him was..."Are you seeing things that you don't think you should be seeing?" Seemed like a simple question. All of his previous answers had been appropriate. The gentleman thought for a moment, then said, "No. Not really. But there was a bear in my house yesterday wearing a raincoat." Immediately, I pictured a huge Paddington Bear sitting down to tea with our patient. My giggling began and I struggled to hide it. The very next patient...elderly woman in her late 80s and her son was at her bedside. As we approach our patient and her son, Leon introduced himself, turned to the patient and said "What brings you to the Emergency Department tonight?"The woman looks to her son who says, "Well, her heart has been running off without her." My immediate vision was a yellow heart (I have no idea why it was yellow) with legs and arms running down the street! I ran out of the room laughing so hard I could not breathe. What the son meant was that his mother had been experiencing a rapid heartrate. I knew that, but could not get the image out of my head. As I sit here and share that story 15 years later, the same image comes to my brain and rolling laughter from my lungs fills this room. Oh gosh. Maybe you are like me. Instead of relating people's phrases to their situations, I immediately get a visual of what was said. My malady has left me appearing unempathetic, at times. But if they only knew what I was picturing...lol...they would understand. Well....maybe not. lol. Loved today's subject! Thanks for making me laugh.
ReplyDeleteToo funny Cristi! Love it!
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