Did I really look like this all day?

"When you look in the mirror and think, did I really look like this all day?"

Jeff and I took a trip (pre-Keagan) to Las Vegas one year.  We were excited to get out of town.  We really didn't have a lot of money, but had scraped together enough to go for a weekend trip.  I was so excited!  The trip had a rocky start which involved us waiting until the last minute to get to the airport because someone (who will remain nameless but we all know who he is) hates to get there early.  My brother -in-law agreed to drive us to the airport, only to discover when we all got in the car that none of us actually knew how to get there (they had just opened the new DIA).  We arrived only to watch our plane pull away from the gate.  Maybe this should have been a sign.

Anyway, we were able to catch another flight and arrived, safe and sound.  We checked in and cleaned up so that we could go "out on the town."  I had purchased a new outfit that I felt looked very good on me.  Feeling rushed because of our late arrival, I hurried to get ready.  When I stepped out of the bathroom and asked Jeff how I looked, he got a funny look on his face and said "You look fine.  Is that a new lipstick?"  I told him, that yes, I had purchased a new lipstick before coming.  Then we went out the door on our big adventure.  Now, I must admit to feeling pretty good about how I looked (and I may have been strutting a little) in all my new glory.  Yup, Jeff was a lucky man indeed!  Partway through our evening I ran to the restroom.  As I was washing my hands I glanced at my face in the mirror.  The longer I looked, the more apparent it became that in my rush to get ready, I had forgotten a very important makeup item.  I had lined my lips with lipliner,  but was waiting to apply the lipstick until I put my outfit on.  You see, I didn't want lipstick all over the new clothing.  I apparently had never gotten to the lipstick portion of my makeup application. Hmmmm.... well this explained Jeff's odd statement.  It also explained some of the odd looks I had been getting ALL afternoon and evening.   I also didn't have any lipstick with me because I was carrying a new, smaller purse that matched my outfit.  Nice.  So, I stood there, feeling a little embarrassed, and scrubbed off the lipliner.  Oh and FYI-- when questioned about the lack of lipstick, Jeff replied "I thought maybe it was a new kind of makeup thing."  WHAT?   Had he seen any other woman  rocking that look?  I don't think so.  It was a humbling experience.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."

It seems to me like in trying to battle low self-esteem, we have sometimes left the idea of humility behind.  I think people have a negative connotation of the word humble.  They equate it often with not being able to be proud of yourself or your accomplishments.  Some may fear that it means allowing yourself to be treated unfairly.  But that's not what humility is.  True humility still allows for an appropriate level of self-esteem and confidence while at the same time preventing us from being completely self absorbed and ungrateful.  It reminds us that although we've come far, we still have a long way to go.  Humility allows us to embrace  our strengths and acknowledge our weakness.  Humility allows us to grow and learn.  Pride says I know it all already.  Humility accepts and acknowledges who we truly are,  everything- the good, bad, beautiful, ugly, and amazing things about ourselves.  It embraces our triumphs and acknowledges our failures.  It forces us to look beyond ourselves and recognizes the truth that we are not what's most important.  Humility recognizes that there is one who is greater.  Pride judges others.  Humility acknowledges your own flaws.  Pride is focused solely on serving yourself.  Humility is focused on others, recognizing that our purpose  is to serve others.

"How can anyone be arrogant when he stands beside the cross?"

Jesus paid it all.  All to Him I owe.

Sin has left a crimson stain.

He washed it white as snow.

I have found myself at different times full of pride.  I will probably have more of those times/days/weeks.  But nothing is more humbling than to remember that I can never be perfect.  That I needed and still need a savior.  I tell these little stories about myself  because what I write about is from my own experience.  I am simply unqualified to speak about anyone else's "stuff",  even though I have moments when I want to point out other's "stuff."   

Can I be perfectly honest with you?  And please remember that I am pointing the finger at myself as well.  I think sometimes the most arrogant people are in the church.  We spend time pointing out the flaws of everything and everyone around us, without acknowledging our own.  Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.  We slap people over the head with scripture, show them no compassion, and walk away feeling pretty good about ourselves.  We walk around, arrogant in our forgiveness, prideful in our Biblical knowledge, all the while forgetting that we have need of a savior in our own lives.

"Church isn't a museum for good people.  It's a hospital for the broken."

"Brokeness breaks us from our need to be right and breaks us open to our need to extend the grace we have been given."

We are all broken.  EVERY ONE OF US.  I need to remember to err on the side of love instead of judgement.  That's what Jesus has done for me.  He loved me.  Period.  And that's what I need to do for others. For me, this means showing others love first.  Seeing the person first.  I want to have  the same compassion for people that Jesus had.  If you doubt that he loved everyone, regardless of their condition you might want to re-read the New testament.  Jesus ideas about who to love and how to love were radical.  

He called a tax collector to be a disciple Luke 5:27-30.  It states that Jesus attended a dinner at Levi's house and "Everyone was there, tax men and other disreputable Characters"

In Luke 6:27 he commands us to 'Love your enemies."

He talks about judging others in Luke 6: 37-42-- "Don't pick on people, jump on all their failures, criticize their faults", "It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbors face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own."  the Message

In Luke 7 he forgave a Harlot.

Luke 15.  This chapter starts with this verse "By this time a lot of men and women of doubtful reputation were hanging around Jesus, listening intently."  It also contains the parables of the Lost Coin and the Lost son.

Those are just a few examples.  No one is beyond the reach of God's love.  

"Being humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others."

So, this is my reminder for myself that I am a flawed, forgiven person.  That I need to look through eyes of love instead of eyes of judgement.  That I am here to serve.  To strive for humility and not pride.  That I need to extend grace, not judgement.  And always err on the side of love.

And, to always check my make up in the mirror before walking out the door ;)