And, although I still subscribe to that teaching method, there's another part of the lesson that is harder, harsher to learn. The second part of this question and discovery method is that there are sometimes questions in life that are harder to answer. There are either no clear cut answers to these questions, or the answers are extremely complex.
My son has recently been asking some of these harder, more complex questions lately in his struggle to truly understand his beliefs, his faith, and his purpose in this world. Questions like if God is really good, and wants good things for us, then why do people who believe in God suffer? Why doesn't God heal everyone? Why do children die? Why does disaster strike? Why doesn't God immediately take away my pain? And, my heart breaks a little bit for him as he struggles with these questions, because it means that he's lost a little bit of his innocence about life. He's beginning to understand that life carries with it joy, but also sorrow and pain. And I know intellectually that this has to happen, this struggle. These questions are part of growing up. But still, a small part of my heart is grieved, because no longer are the answers easy or clear cut. No longer is belief easy.
And as I struggled with trying to at least come up with some kind of answer to these hard questions, I turned to the Bible, specifically the book of Job, looking for some kind of answer. I'll be honest here, I have a love/hate relationship with this story. On one hand, I love Job's initial response upon learning that he had lost everything:
"Then he (Job) fell to the ground in worship and said, Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21
And yet, this story sometimes terrifies me with the thought that God could allow this to happen to someone who was blameless and served God wholeheartedly. I mean honestly, I'm no Job. Not even close. And so, what would that mean for me? I probably deserve some bad things to happen to me. Gah! This was truly one of the more terrifying Bible stories that I heard as a child. And for that reason, I tend to skip over Job. Trying to not read it at all. Or, if I do read it, I only read the good parts, which, let's face it, pretty much take place in the first and last chapter only. Ummm yeah.
However, I do not believe that God is a God of chance. I believe that the book of Job and his story are included in the Bible for a reason. Could it be that there are real, applicable lessons to be learned there? I found some lesson there when I went back and re-read the book of Job. And let me tell you, this is one of the hardest parts of the Bible for me to read. Everything about me wants to reject and ignore this story. It is my Christian version of Moby Dick (I had to read that horrid--to me-- book in High School and I obviously still carry some bitterness and scars--Whatever.). A book to read once because I am supposed to, but then to sit it aside to collect dust, never to be touched or read again. So, I'm going to share with you just a couple of the lessons I have learned/am learning from Job with the disclaimer that I am not a theologian (nor do I ever hope to be) and I'll be the first to admit that these lessons may in fact be meant just for little old me.
Job Lesson number one: How to treat a friend who is suffering.
Job's three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar hear that their friend was in trouble, and their first instinct was to go to their friend and comfort him. This is actually a good thing. When someone you know is suffering-- one of the best things you can do is to just be there. Oh, if only his three friends had just stopped with this one act-- they would probably be remembered as great friends of Job.
However, where they got off track was when they tried to explain the "why" of suffering. You see, to them, there had to be a reason, a justification, as to why their friends life had suddenly turned so tragic. I would say that this is probably a normal human response. We seek answers. We seek understanding. We, as humans, are uncomfortable when there are no answers to be found. We want things to be wrapped up in a neat little box. We want to solve the great equation of X+Y= suffering.
Sometimes there is an answer for X and for Y. Sometimes we cause our own suffering through choices we have made. Sometimes. But not always. In fact, most of the time it seems to me that some of the true suffering we see going on in this world has no answer. Or, let me say it this way, there is no answer that we/I can wrap my human, very limited, brain around.
This was one of those times. There wasn't an answer for the question of why Job was suffering. Or at least, not a human answer. And, in their uncomfortableness with the question of why, Job's friends sought out the only answer that they could understand-- the answer of deserved suffering. Job was suffering because he did something to deserve it. And so, they decided that they, in all their great human knowledge understood the situation and that it was their task to point out to Job his great need to take responsibility for his actions. They tried to explain something that they truly didn't understand.
And in that explanation, they mis-represented God. They said things like God caused/allowed Job's children to die because of sin in their lives. Because of sin in Job's life. They said that God caused/allowed Job's sickness because of sin in his life. That God caused/allowed the loss of his fortune because of sin in his life. You see, neither of the three friends truly knew the behind the scenes story. They had no knowledge of God's plan. And yet, they presumed to know what was going on.
In their quest to answer the why question, they forgot about the true purpose of their visit. They were supposed to go and comfort their friend. That's it. That simple. You see, a friend who is there to comfort is there to listen, really listen to the one who is suffering. They are there to help, inspire, cry with, pray with, and lift their friend up.
Not once does it mention that his three friends prayed with Job. Not once does it mention that his three friends did something to help ease his suffering by tending to his sore body. Nope, they instead gave him speeches about what he should have done, and what he should do next. Not once did they truly try to empathize or seek to truly understand Job's grieving process. Instead they said things like: Do you think you are the only one who suffers? You need to get over it. You brought this on yourself. And the ever so helpful, blessed is the man whom God corrects. Such nice words of comfort.
So, lesson number one on how to treat a friend who is suffering is simple. Be there. Listen. Love. Say something like this: "I'm so sorry. This is really awful/terrible/hard/...I love you. And I'm here to be with you through this." Then shut up and show them God's love through caring, comforting actions. Not through speeches.
Job Lesson number two: There are some things that happen in this life that you cannot possibly understand because YOU ARE NOT GOD. You are not meant to understand everything.
For me, I learn a lot about the complexities of God by observing nature. I am just stunned at the way God makes things. Interconnects things. Stunningly. Brilliantly. And beyond my capacity to understand or explain. I mean really, the thought that had to go into this complex eco-system where I live just blows my mind. Consider the mosquito. Probably the most annoying bug on this planet called earth. And yet, the lowly mosquito plays an important part in ecology. You see, there are many species that depend upon the mosquito for food. Ok, so what? Well, would you believe that we, as humans depend on them for food as well? Did you know that aside form causing irritating bites and spreading disease, mosquitos are also pollinators of plants? I think we all understand why that is important. How about the items we consume as food. Let's take fish, for example. We eat fish and a lot of fish eat mosquitoes. To take it a step further, the mosquitoes provide nutrition for small fish, small fish provide nutrition for larger fish, and larger fish provide nutrition for us humans. These are extremely easy and small examples, but they help somewhat explain the complexity that God placed into his design of this planet called earth.
If God has placed that much thought into something as small as a mosquito, how much more thought has he placed into mankind and our lives. I cannot even comprehend all the complexities that are built into life events. We have all heard of the domino effect. The term referring to how one persons reaction triggered another and so on and so on until an end result was achieved. Now imagine this as applied to our lives. Imagine this invisible domino trail repeated thousands and thousands of times for each individual person on this planet. How do we track all of that? The answer is, we don't. We can't. But God can and does.
The point is this, there will be times in my life when I will not understand the "why" of things. The answer is too complex for me. I do not have the capacity to understand all the nuances. I AM NOT GOD. And you know what? This lesson brings me comfort at times. It's a relief to acknowledge that understanding is not what is always required of me. That's God's job. Instead, I can let go of the "why" and simply state "I have faith in God, who has knowledge and understanding that exceeds my own, and who works to bring good."
So, while I am watching my son as he struggles with the why questions, my answer to him is often this. I don't know the answer, but I know the one who does. I have a relationship with Him and I trust in Him. I take comfort in His knowledge. He knows the why of things. He sees the thousands of domino trails.
This is an answer, but not an easy one, especially when in the middle of the terrible storms of life. I'll admit to times of questioning. Times of doubt. Times of frustration. Times of heartbreak. Times of brokenness. Times of weariness. Times of anger. And yet, when life is harsh, and hard, and disappointing, I strive to lean not on my own understanding. I am striving to lean instead on the one who holds the stars in his hands and commands the mornings. And to be the friend who brings comfort to others, not noisy, loud, ignorant speeches.
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