The question was asked, "Who do you most admire in life?" And, I actually had a lot of answers to that question. I admire a lot of different people for different reasons. But then I saw this video of this woman, Mama Hill, and honestly.. she's my answer to this question.
Wow! She is love in action. She is who I should emulate. She is who I should aspire to be like. What an amazing woman!
What I truly love about what she is doing is the simplicity of it. She shares love with all she comes into contact with. This is something we all can do, wherever we are.
It comes back to that basic desire for human connection. These days, we are connected all the time. We are connected by our cell phones, the internet, T.V.'s etc.... And while I appreciate the connection that these items bring, they can be impersonal. It's hard to hug someone through a piece of technology. The little smiley face icon cannot possibly take the place of a real, honest, face to face smile.
I think people long to be seen by someone else. There's something about being physically present with someone that touches the soul. It's too easy to treat someone in a cold or inhumane manner when you are not looking at them face to face. As much as technology helps us communicate, it also allows us to keep a distance from others. And I think our society is instinctively feeling the loss of the soul connection we can feel with someone when we are physically in each others presence.
What brings that young woman in the video to tears is not the physical items that Mama Hill has given her, it's the face to face interaction. The fact that another human being actually saw her, actually spent the time to connect with her in a very real and loving way. That's what has impacted her life.
So the challenge I am going to take from Mama Hill is to make sure that I take the time to connect with people face to face. When I am out and about, I am going to try to really look at people's faces and smile at them. It doesn't hurt me to smile at someone. And, it's a simple way to connect, even if I do not speak to them or see them again. I am going to actively look for ways to connect with others face to face. Simple love. No big or convoluted plans. How easy is that?
So, Mama Hill, I salute you! You inspire me to be better and do better. You have a lifelong admirer in me.
And so I ask you, who do you admire?
Friday, November 22, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
You've got a Friend in me
When Keagan was little, the movie Toy Story came out. We all loved this movie, but Keagan especially loved the theme song, You've Got a Friend in Me by the great Randy Newman. He would go around singing this song to the top of his little lungs. I loved watching him throw his little head back with abandon and a big smile on his face, with his little missing teeth, singing "you've got a friend in me." We had a set of Disney music cd's that we would play in the car and Keagan would always say, mom, play that friend song again. I wish I had recorded him singing this song.
Friendship.... that human connection point. It's magical. Jeff always says that I love to meet new people and make new friends. And it's true. I love that point when you connect with someone over a shared human experience. This video illustrates what I'm talking about.
I love this idea. You know what I find most fascinating about this? It's not that two people find a connection point-- anyone can do that at any time. It's that two people took a chance to sit in public in a random ball pit with people they did not know. They took the time to sit down and connect. Think about that. They had to actively seek connection. *Random thought alert* Maybe we need to place these ball pits up at the Capital and force our elected officials to sit in the pits together. Ok. Moving on...
Back to that actively seeking human connection thought. I think a craving for some kind of human connection is a universal one. It crosses cultures, languages, beliefs, etc... I think deep down, we all share this longing. So why do some people connect with others easily and often, while other people seem to never make connections? I think the key is in the word "actively."
Let's face it, relationships, in order to form and grow, require some sort of action on the part of the participants. You can't just sit there, do nothing, say nothing and expect a relationship to form. It doesn't work that way. Friendship is a verb. It takes action on your part.
"You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get people interested in you."
"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
So, how do you make connections with people? How do you build friendships? To me, this is instinctual, so when someone asked me that question I sat there stunned. My first reaction was to say, "You just do." But, that wasn't helpful. So I began to think about it. and let me just say now, that I don't believe that there are hard set rules for friendship. However, I do believe that there are actions that you can take that lead to friendship/human connection.
Be interested in other people. I find other people's life stories fascinating! Truly! Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, "I bet they have some interesting life stories." I have. And usually, I find a way to meet them and talk to them. So, be curious about other people. Ask them questions. Don't just sit there and go on and on about yourself. One of my favorite questions to ask people is "What do you do for fun?" You know why I like that question? Because the answer often shows me what they are passionate about. That question also brings joy to the person who answers it because they are remembering a good and joyful experience. It immediately forms a positive connection with that person.
People's life stories are amazing! I met a woman a couple of years ago who grew up in Berlin with the wall that divided that city. Of course I knew about the wall, in fact I remember President Reagan's speech where he told Gorbachev to "tear down that wall!" Although it's a powerful lesson in history, it was made more real to me when I listened to Helga describe what it was like growing up with that wall. We had some neighbors while in Denver who were from Ethiopia. They had the most beautiful children I have ever seen. A year after their daughter was born, we were invited to attend their daughters naming celebration. You see, in their culture, they didn't officially name their children until they were a year old, due to the high rate of infant mortality in their native country. I could go on and on about the amazing things I have learned from just simply taking the time to ask others about their lives.
Make time for other people. Relationships need time. Seek out ways to spend time together. And don't wait for other people to make the first move. I've heard many people comment about how they would like make friends with others, yet they are always waiting for someone else to make the first effort. Step up to the plate and initiate friendships. Invite people over for dinner. Remember, true relationships must be reciprocal. My deepest friendships are with those who I spend the most time with. A one sided friendship isn't a true friendship. And don't use the excuse of "I'm busy." Everyone is busy. We make time for what we value in life. Place value on your friendships by giving them the time they deserve.
"When you stop expecting people to be perfect you can like them for who they are."
"I don't have to agree with you to like and respect you."
I think the biggest misconception about friendship is that in order to be friends you must see eye to eye on everything. Gah! That's just so boring! And it's also an unachievable goal. You are NEVER, EVER, going to completely agree with someone 100% of the time. And, I've watched people drop great, deep, amazing friendships because they can't agree on one subject. Now, I know that there are sometimes relationships that are irreconcilable. But I think those time are very rare. I prefer to focus on the areas where we agree. On the things we have in common. I prefer to agree to disagree and move on. My life is too short, my time is to precious, to waste it on anger and disagreements. Believe me, I have friends who view life radically differently than I do. But do you know why our friendship lasts? It's because we have made a human connection at some time. And I value them both as a fellow human being and as a friend. They provide me with more than a one dimensional way to see the world. Their friendships enrich my life, challenge me, and in a weird way, help me to clearly define what I believe and why I believe it. There is value in that.
So today I challenge and encourage you to look for ways to form human connections with others. True human connection brings joy to your life.
I'll leave you today with the words to the song that my son loved when he was younger and a few photos of human connection moments. Enjoy!
Friendship.... that human connection point. It's magical. Jeff always says that I love to meet new people and make new friends. And it's true. I love that point when you connect with someone over a shared human experience. This video illustrates what I'm talking about.
I love this idea. You know what I find most fascinating about this? It's not that two people find a connection point-- anyone can do that at any time. It's that two people took a chance to sit in public in a random ball pit with people they did not know. They took the time to sit down and connect. Think about that. They had to actively seek connection. *Random thought alert* Maybe we need to place these ball pits up at the Capital and force our elected officials to sit in the pits together. Ok. Moving on...
Back to that actively seeking human connection thought. I think a craving for some kind of human connection is a universal one. It crosses cultures, languages, beliefs, etc... I think deep down, we all share this longing. So why do some people connect with others easily and often, while other people seem to never make connections? I think the key is in the word "actively."
Let's face it, relationships, in order to form and grow, require some sort of action on the part of the participants. You can't just sit there, do nothing, say nothing and expect a relationship to form. It doesn't work that way. Friendship is a verb. It takes action on your part.
"You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get people interested in you."
"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
So, how do you make connections with people? How do you build friendships? To me, this is instinctual, so when someone asked me that question I sat there stunned. My first reaction was to say, "You just do." But, that wasn't helpful. So I began to think about it. and let me just say now, that I don't believe that there are hard set rules for friendship. However, I do believe that there are actions that you can take that lead to friendship/human connection.
Be interested in other people. I find other people's life stories fascinating! Truly! Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, "I bet they have some interesting life stories." I have. And usually, I find a way to meet them and talk to them. So, be curious about other people. Ask them questions. Don't just sit there and go on and on about yourself. One of my favorite questions to ask people is "What do you do for fun?" You know why I like that question? Because the answer often shows me what they are passionate about. That question also brings joy to the person who answers it because they are remembering a good and joyful experience. It immediately forms a positive connection with that person.
People's life stories are amazing! I met a woman a couple of years ago who grew up in Berlin with the wall that divided that city. Of course I knew about the wall, in fact I remember President Reagan's speech where he told Gorbachev to "tear down that wall!" Although it's a powerful lesson in history, it was made more real to me when I listened to Helga describe what it was like growing up with that wall. We had some neighbors while in Denver who were from Ethiopia. They had the most beautiful children I have ever seen. A year after their daughter was born, we were invited to attend their daughters naming celebration. You see, in their culture, they didn't officially name their children until they were a year old, due to the high rate of infant mortality in their native country. I could go on and on about the amazing things I have learned from just simply taking the time to ask others about their lives.
Make time for other people. Relationships need time. Seek out ways to spend time together. And don't wait for other people to make the first move. I've heard many people comment about how they would like make friends with others, yet they are always waiting for someone else to make the first effort. Step up to the plate and initiate friendships. Invite people over for dinner. Remember, true relationships must be reciprocal. My deepest friendships are with those who I spend the most time with. A one sided friendship isn't a true friendship. And don't use the excuse of "I'm busy." Everyone is busy. We make time for what we value in life. Place value on your friendships by giving them the time they deserve.
"When you stop expecting people to be perfect you can like them for who they are."
"I don't have to agree with you to like and respect you."
I think the biggest misconception about friendship is that in order to be friends you must see eye to eye on everything. Gah! That's just so boring! And it's also an unachievable goal. You are NEVER, EVER, going to completely agree with someone 100% of the time. And, I've watched people drop great, deep, amazing friendships because they can't agree on one subject. Now, I know that there are sometimes relationships that are irreconcilable. But I think those time are very rare. I prefer to focus on the areas where we agree. On the things we have in common. I prefer to agree to disagree and move on. My life is too short, my time is to precious, to waste it on anger and disagreements. Believe me, I have friends who view life radically differently than I do. But do you know why our friendship lasts? It's because we have made a human connection at some time. And I value them both as a fellow human being and as a friend. They provide me with more than a one dimensional way to see the world. Their friendships enrich my life, challenge me, and in a weird way, help me to clearly define what I believe and why I believe it. There is value in that.
So today I challenge and encourage you to look for ways to form human connections with others. True human connection brings joy to your life.
I'll leave you today with the words to the song that my son loved when he was younger and a few photos of human connection moments. Enjoy!
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you've got a friend in me
Yeah, you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles and I got 'em too
There isn't anything I would do for you
We stick together, we can see it through
'Cause you're got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them
Will ever love you the way I do
It's me and you boy
And as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You're gonna see its our destiny
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
Thursday, November 14, 2013
People of Influence....
So, I will admit that this blog is inspired by a Youtube video I watched about gratitude and happiness. In the video they had various people write down the name of a person who had a positive influence on them. They also had them write a paragraph about this person. Then, they had them call this person over the phone right then and there and read the paragraph to them. I believe it was one of the most touching things I have ever witnessed. And, it is what inspires this post today. There are a few people that I want to publicly acknowledge. I want others to understand how amazing these people really are.
To My Dad (Paul Clark): Even though I'm a grown woman, a part of me will always be your little girl, and you will always be my first hero. You taught me how to serve God with my whole heart. I watched growing up as you gave time, comfort, love, and care to others in need. When you dedicated a new baby at the church I learned how to celebrate new life and family. When you married a young couple you taught me about commitment and love. When you conducted a funeral, you taught me how to grieve but still cling to the joy that will some day come when we all are reunited up in heaven. You gave me a love for the beauty of the outdoors (even if I still don't like camping). I get my love for playing board and card games from you (and probably my competitiveness). Your love for reading has inspired my love for reading. We share a sense of humor (although I think my sense of humor sometimes tests you). You are a fantastic Grandpa! When I think of words like integrity and honor, I think of you. I love you Dad! You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.
To My Mom (Verna Clark): Your are my hero! You taught me to love fiercely and without reservation. You have taught me the importance of hard work. You are the embodiment of a woman who is beautiful inside and out! You have taught me the importance of service and sacrifice. You gave me my love for music (remember when we sang the song "Second Hand Faith" together?). You have shown me how to live fully, no matter what the circumstances. You have taught me to face life with courage, joy, integrity, faith, and to embrace it with everything I have! You have taught me how to give generously. You have taught me how to forgive others generously. You gave me my love for good food! You have taught me to try new things fearlessly. Your are an amazing Grandma! You are a woman worthy of great honor, and I hope that you feel honored not only today, but for the rest of your days! When I think of words like courage, dignity, and joy, I think of you. I love you Mom! You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.
To My Husband (Jeff Benintendi): You are my Superman! You have taught me the true meaning of the word love. You have encouraged me to live life fearlessly. You have taken every good thing thing in my life and improved upon it, expanded it, and made it bigger and better than I could have ever dreamed. You are my prince charming. You are my best friend. You are handsome, smart, funny, and courageous. You are a man of integrity and honor. You are faithful and you keep your promises. You make me laugh (you don't always mean to, but you do). You are not afraid to try new things. You are my biggest cheerleader. You have given me a love for the ocean and exploration. You are an awesome father! You are an unbelievable husband! You are an amazing son! You are a true man of God! You are a blessing! You are a loyal friend! You are my true North, my lighthouse when I am lost, and my home. I love you Jeff! You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.
There are many other people in my life who have greatly impacted my life, but my blog can only be so long, and I am already sitting here a sobbing crying mess. Just know, that I am grateful for you!
I encourage you today to do this in your own life. To let someone who has greatly impacted your life know how thankful you are for them!
"I can no other answer make but thanks, thanks; and ever thanks." Shakespeare
To My Dad (Paul Clark): Even though I'm a grown woman, a part of me will always be your little girl, and you will always be my first hero. You taught me how to serve God with my whole heart. I watched growing up as you gave time, comfort, love, and care to others in need. When you dedicated a new baby at the church I learned how to celebrate new life and family. When you married a young couple you taught me about commitment and love. When you conducted a funeral, you taught me how to grieve but still cling to the joy that will some day come when we all are reunited up in heaven. You gave me a love for the beauty of the outdoors (even if I still don't like camping). I get my love for playing board and card games from you (and probably my competitiveness). Your love for reading has inspired my love for reading. We share a sense of humor (although I think my sense of humor sometimes tests you). You are a fantastic Grandpa! When I think of words like integrity and honor, I think of you. I love you Dad! You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.
To My Mom (Verna Clark): Your are my hero! You taught me to love fiercely and without reservation. You have taught me the importance of hard work. You are the embodiment of a woman who is beautiful inside and out! You have taught me the importance of service and sacrifice. You gave me my love for music (remember when we sang the song "Second Hand Faith" together?). You have shown me how to live fully, no matter what the circumstances. You have taught me to face life with courage, joy, integrity, faith, and to embrace it with everything I have! You have taught me how to give generously. You have taught me how to forgive others generously. You gave me my love for good food! You have taught me to try new things fearlessly. Your are an amazing Grandma! You are a woman worthy of great honor, and I hope that you feel honored not only today, but for the rest of your days! When I think of words like courage, dignity, and joy, I think of you. I love you Mom! You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.
To My Husband (Jeff Benintendi): You are my Superman! You have taught me the true meaning of the word love. You have encouraged me to live life fearlessly. You have taken every good thing thing in my life and improved upon it, expanded it, and made it bigger and better than I could have ever dreamed. You are my prince charming. You are my best friend. You are handsome, smart, funny, and courageous. You are a man of integrity and honor. You are faithful and you keep your promises. You make me laugh (you don't always mean to, but you do). You are not afraid to try new things. You are my biggest cheerleader. You have given me a love for the ocean and exploration. You are an awesome father! You are an unbelievable husband! You are an amazing son! You are a true man of God! You are a blessing! You are a loyal friend! You are my true North, my lighthouse when I am lost, and my home. I love you Jeff! You have been a person of great influence in my life, and I thank you.
There are many other people in my life who have greatly impacted my life, but my blog can only be so long, and I am already sitting here a sobbing crying mess. Just know, that I am grateful for you!
I encourage you today to do this in your own life. To let someone who has greatly impacted your life know how thankful you are for them!
"I can no other answer make but thanks, thanks; and ever thanks." Shakespeare
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Just call me a rule breaker....
On a recent visit to D.C we went to Arlington National Cemetery. They had this sign posted to remind people of the rules and regulations there. It also was a reminder that this was a place that deserved to be treated with respect. As we walked through, there were a lot of signs with rules to follow posted everywhere. It was interesting to me how many of those signs they had.
Do you know that there are over 900 Traffic laws on the books in the state where I live? Wow! That's a lot of rules. And, I discovered, while helping my teenager study for his learner's permit, that I'm quite the little rule breaker. Hmmmm. That's a lot of rules to follow, but I seem to have no problem trying to follow them (even if I break some of them at times).
And, although I see the value of rules and laws, both as a citizen and as a Christ Follower, there seems to be a lot of "rules" out there that are just plain ridiculous. Case in point.... I began to look up some of the obscure, ridiculous, and often weird laws that have made the books here in the U.S.A. and this is what I've discovered:
Apparently we have a larger camel population than I knew, and we have laws in place about their usage and what not.
In Arizona it is prohibited to hunt camels.
In Idaho you may not fish while on a camels back.
In Nevada it is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
And it's not just camels. We have a lot of rules regarding all kinds of wildlife.
In Missouri it is unlawful to drive down the highway with an uncaged bear in your car. And Massachusetts doesn't allow you to drive with a gorilla in the back seat of any car.
In Alaska it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose and it is also an offense to push a live moose out of an airplane. Ummmm.... ok.
In Little Rock, Arkansas it is unlawful to walk one's cow down main street after 1p.m. on Sunday.
(I'll file that away for future reference)
In California it is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide (why would you want to?). And while in California remember that it is illegal to lick the toads (again, why would you want to?). You also cannot hunt moths under a street light and it is illegal to drive MORE THAN 2000 sheep down Hollywood Blvd. Oh, and you can't carry a fish into a bar. (So, this guy walks into a bar in California carrying a fish and ends up doing 15 to life.)
Termite farms are not allowed within Miami City Limits. OK. Got it. And you may not bring your
pig to the beach. That's ok, they tend to sunburn anyway.
If you are visiting Atlanta, you can't tie your giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. And if you
are in Louisiana you may not tie your alligator to a fire hydrant.
In Galesburg, Illinois you can't keep a smelly dog. In Maryland it's illegal to take a lion to the movies. He will just have to watch the Lion King at home. You may not use an elephant to plow your cotton fields in North Carolina.
In Michigan it is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets. In Kentucky it is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow. In Tennessee it is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. And in Ohio it's illegal to get a fish drunk. It is illegal to go whale fishing while in Nebraska. Ok, let that last one sink in. If you still don't get it, look at a map (here's a hint-- what lake in Nebraska houses whales?).
In Kansas no one may wear a bee in your hat. You can't cross Wisconsin state lines with a duck atop your head. And remember that you cannot take photos of rabbits in Wyoming from January to April.
We also seem to have problems with people using their missiles and guns inappropriately along with using nuclear devices in the wrong places.
In Colorado throwing missiles at cars is illegal. In Destin, Florida torpedoes may not be set off in the city. In Montana it is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket to city council meetings. Missiles may not be shot at parade participants in Wisconsin. In South carolina you can fire a missile, you just have to get the proper permit first.
In Washington you may not carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length. Ummmmm, I'm 5' 4", I don't think that will be a problem for me. It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, CANNON, revolver (isn't that a gun?) or other explosive weapon at a wedding (because nothing says our love is going to last forever like firing a cannon). In Deming, New Mexico, make sure you don't hunt in the Mountain View Cemetery, it's illegal (seriously? What's wrong with people!) And if you have participated in in a public duel in West Virginia, you need to kiss your political career goodbye because you cannot hold a public office.
In California detonating a Nuclear Device within the city limits will result in a $500 fine. Oh, and if you are in Aspen, Colorado, make sure you do not fire your catapult at a building.
Everywhere you look there rules and regulations. Some of them are silly.
Whistling underwater is prohibited in West Virginia. In California bowling down a sidewalk is illegal. In Connecticut it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. The molestation of trash cans is banned in Dayton, Florida. One armed piano players must perform for free in Iowa. Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of anothers hamburger. Make sure you don't fall asleep outside on top of a refrigerator in Pennsylvania. Don't lie down and fall asleep in the middle of a cheese factory in South Dakota. In Delaware getting married on a dare is grounds for annulment (I would have thought that one would be on the books in Nevada). In Montana it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels. (hehehe , that one stirs up a funny mental picture of Jeff's car and ice picks). And whatever you do, do not walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin in Utah. At a wake in Massachusetts mourners may eat no more than 3 sandwiches. Actually, I think that last one may be practical now that I think about it.
And some of our laws are downright disturbing and strange.
It is illegal to cause a catastrophe in Utah. It's illegal to sell one's eye in Texas (say what?). In Charleston, South Carolina the Fire department apparently has the right to blow up your house. No one may bite off another's leg in Rhode Island (I seriously don't even want to know). In Sea Isle City in New Jersey there will be no boiling of bones on the property (ewwwwww). Drivers in Oregon must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk. Sounds to me like drivers in Oregon need to learn how to drive on the road. In Georgia is it illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair. Huh. That seems to be all I hear at a fair is disturbing sounds. It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street in Pensacola, Florida. Fines go up according to the contents of the barrel (so what would be the fine for having a body in there?). At Satellite Beach in Florida persons may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex. That creates a disturbing mental picture. In Indiana make sure you do not throw an old computer across the street at your neighbor. In Maine, advertisements may not be placed in a cemetery. (Truly?) If you are going to bite someone in Louisiana, make sure you bite them with your natural teeth. Biting with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault." In Michigan, it is LEGAL for a robber to file a lawsuit if he or she got hurt in your house while robbing it. Nice. And finally, the last law.... in New Jersey it is illegal to wear a bullet proof vest while committing a murder.
So, I guess my point in all this is that we all live with rules and regulations all the time. And many of the rules and laws are not really needed or useful. Some of these rules are just made up by politicians and lawmakers. As far as the rules for being a Christian, you should measure any "rule" that is told to you against what the Bible says. There are a lot of "rules" that are stated that are made up by mankind. They don't have any basis in what God asks you to do.
I'm not saying that I'm against rules and law. They play a big role in keeping our society in order. They can give us the proper guidance to do what is right. I'm just saying don't get so caught up in it all, that you forget to use common sense.
And, here's how I view being a Christ follower (and I will once again state that I am not a minister nor do I proclaim to be a great theological expert) for me there are really 2 big rules that I follow.
1. Love God. 2. Love others. The rest of the stuff tends to sort itself out. So, if you are hesitant about being in a relationship with God because of the rules, I ask you to start with those 2 basics. And then, begin to read the Bible and pray. God will lead you in the right direction.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Focus on God's ability to care for you....
"It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept."
I have been having some interesting conversations of late within my many circles of friends. During these conversations I have noticed two distinct viewpoints. One viewpoint is that the world is spiraling desperately downward and there is no hope. Another is that although there are big problems facing our world, there is also hope. Any guess as to where I fall in this conversation?
"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, and kindness."
You guessed it. I fall into the second category of thinkers. I think some of that is just a part of my nature, a part of who I am. I tend to be a hopeful person. Now, that doesn't mean I don't worry about things or issues. It just means I don't let worry control me. You see, I've read the end of the book (Bible) and I know how it all ends. *Spoiler alert* God wins.
I love the following scripture:
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:26-31, 33-34
Worry messes with your focus. It redirects you. Worrying focuses on yourself and your problems. The scripture above clearly states where your focus should be. Your focus should be on Him - seek first his kingdom and his righteousness. Worrying too much stops you from focusing on God.
I'm reminded of the story of when the Israelites, having escaped Egypt, sent the 12 spies into Canaan to scope out the land that God had promised them. Ok, so let's ponder for a moment what God had already done up until this point. He had provided them safe passage out of slavery. I always find it interesting that not only did the Egyptians let them go, they let them take their gold and silver. (Exodus 12:35-36) Then God used a cloud and pillar of fire to guide them in the wilderness so that they would not be lost. God parted the sea... stop and think about that.... The SEA parted... and they escaped the Egyptian army. God provided Manna, quail, and water for them in the desert! God promised them that he would help them overtake many armies and that he would give them the promised land (Exodus 33:1-3). Time and time again, God had taken care of the nation of Israel.
So now we are at the point where God is going to give them what was promised. And this is where we pick up the scripture:
"We went to the land to which you sent us and Oh! It does flow with milk and honey! Just look at this fruit! The only thing is that the people who live there are fierce, their cities are huge and well fortified. Worse yet, we saw descendants of the giant Anak, Amalekites are spread out in the Negev; Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites hold the hill country; and the Canaanites are established on the Mediterranean Sea and along the Jordon." Number 13:27-29 the message
The first part of those scriptures starts out well. Basically, they are saying, yes, this land is exactly what God had said it was. It's amazing! And then comes the but..... They were basically saying, I know that the land is amazing BUT there are a lot of things to worry about. Giants. Giants are worrisome. And the people are fierce. There are big obstacles in the way like big, fortified walls. Worry, worry, worry..... Well, we all know what happened. They ended up not going into the promised land at that time. All because they chose to focus on what worried them. You see, worry stole their focus (and for some, their promise). Because they focused on all the bad stuff, they forgot the miracles that God had already done. They forgot the promise that God had given them in Exodus 33.
"When trouble comes, focus on God's ability to care for you." Charles Stanley
We can learn an important lesson from the Israelites history. I know that there is a lot to worry about. I know that there are "giants" out there today. I know that there are "obstacles"out there in our hill country. I know that we can come into contact with some "fierce" enemies. But I also know that God has a promised land for me. If I stay focused on God-- the daily miracles He performs in my life, His promises that He has made, the love He has for me... He will direct me, protect me, and provide for me while I'm on the path set before me.
So, the challenge today is to not let worry become your focus. Instead, focus on the promises of God, knowing that He is in control of all things. Notice, I didn't say not to worry, because, if I'm honest, I have times where I am greatly worried. But I can choose what I focus on.
I'll leave you today with a photo from the ruins of Ephesus. There is no longer a great city here. Just some ruins of a once thriving city from a long ago time. As we walked around, this scene struck me. It's a place where they have put some recovered sarcophaguses (minus bodies) in this sort of flat space. They caught my eye, but so did all the wildflowers growing around them. So, when you look at this photo you can focus on the symbols of death (sarcophaguses), or you can focus on the symbols of life (wildflowers). Your focus is up to you.
I have been having some interesting conversations of late within my many circles of friends. During these conversations I have noticed two distinct viewpoints. One viewpoint is that the world is spiraling desperately downward and there is no hope. Another is that although there are big problems facing our world, there is also hope. Any guess as to where I fall in this conversation?
"To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, and kindness."
You guessed it. I fall into the second category of thinkers. I think some of that is just a part of my nature, a part of who I am. I tend to be a hopeful person. Now, that doesn't mean I don't worry about things or issues. It just means I don't let worry control me. You see, I've read the end of the book (Bible) and I know how it all ends. *Spoiler alert* God wins.
I love the following scripture:
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:26-31, 33-34
Worry messes with your focus. It redirects you. Worrying focuses on yourself and your problems. The scripture above clearly states where your focus should be. Your focus should be on Him - seek first his kingdom and his righteousness. Worrying too much stops you from focusing on God.
I'm reminded of the story of when the Israelites, having escaped Egypt, sent the 12 spies into Canaan to scope out the land that God had promised them. Ok, so let's ponder for a moment what God had already done up until this point. He had provided them safe passage out of slavery. I always find it interesting that not only did the Egyptians let them go, they let them take their gold and silver. (Exodus 12:35-36) Then God used a cloud and pillar of fire to guide them in the wilderness so that they would not be lost. God parted the sea... stop and think about that.... The SEA parted... and they escaped the Egyptian army. God provided Manna, quail, and water for them in the desert! God promised them that he would help them overtake many armies and that he would give them the promised land (Exodus 33:1-3). Time and time again, God had taken care of the nation of Israel.
So now we are at the point where God is going to give them what was promised. And this is where we pick up the scripture:
"We went to the land to which you sent us and Oh! It does flow with milk and honey! Just look at this fruit! The only thing is that the people who live there are fierce, their cities are huge and well fortified. Worse yet, we saw descendants of the giant Anak, Amalekites are spread out in the Negev; Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites hold the hill country; and the Canaanites are established on the Mediterranean Sea and along the Jordon." Number 13:27-29 the message
The first part of those scriptures starts out well. Basically, they are saying, yes, this land is exactly what God had said it was. It's amazing! And then comes the but..... They were basically saying, I know that the land is amazing BUT there are a lot of things to worry about. Giants. Giants are worrisome. And the people are fierce. There are big obstacles in the way like big, fortified walls. Worry, worry, worry..... Well, we all know what happened. They ended up not going into the promised land at that time. All because they chose to focus on what worried them. You see, worry stole their focus (and for some, their promise). Because they focused on all the bad stuff, they forgot the miracles that God had already done. They forgot the promise that God had given them in Exodus 33.
"When trouble comes, focus on God's ability to care for you." Charles Stanley
We can learn an important lesson from the Israelites history. I know that there is a lot to worry about. I know that there are "giants" out there today. I know that there are "obstacles"out there in our hill country. I know that we can come into contact with some "fierce" enemies. But I also know that God has a promised land for me. If I stay focused on God-- the daily miracles He performs in my life, His promises that He has made, the love He has for me... He will direct me, protect me, and provide for me while I'm on the path set before me.
So, the challenge today is to not let worry become your focus. Instead, focus on the promises of God, knowing that He is in control of all things. Notice, I didn't say not to worry, because, if I'm honest, I have times where I am greatly worried. But I can choose what I focus on.
I'll leave you today with a photo from the ruins of Ephesus. There is no longer a great city here. Just some ruins of a once thriving city from a long ago time. As we walked around, this scene struck me. It's a place where they have put some recovered sarcophaguses (minus bodies) in this sort of flat space. They caught my eye, but so did all the wildflowers growing around them. So, when you look at this photo you can focus on the symbols of death (sarcophaguses), or you can focus on the symbols of life (wildflowers). Your focus is up to you.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Today I will not roll my eyes at anyone......
"Today, I will not roll my eyes at anyone."
Ok... I admit it. There are times, and sometimes there are multiple moments in a day, where I find myself rolling my eyes at something someone is doing or saying. And yes, I know it's not a very grown up thing to do, but it's often better for me to roll my eyes than to open my mouth and say what I am thinking. I am definitely one of those people that should put a little thought into what I say before saying it.
And that's not all I do wrong. Apparently (according to pinterest, various how to and self improvement books, T.V. shows, random people at the mall, church, grocery store etc...) there's a whole slew of things I do wrong. According to "them" I am the the multi-tasking queen of doing multiple things wrong all at the same time. It is time for me to just stand here in my wrongness and be wrong. Depending on who you listen to: I vote for the wrong people, I make poor parenting decisions, I spend my money inappropriately, I dress too conservatively and too young for my age, I don't eat the right food, I'm not educated enough and yet I'm too educated, I'm too compassionate, yet not compassionate enough, I'm too short, I'm too fat, I enjoy my life too much, I'm too proud of my family, I'm too lenient on my son and yet too hard on him, I clean my house wrong, I'm too outspoken yet I don't speak up enough, I pray too much and yet I don't spend enough time in prayer, I'm too spiritual yet not spiritual enough, I don't iron clothes (that's not changing), I don't attend enough church services, I'm too friendly and yet too involved in my clique of people, I have non-Christian friends (I don't even know why that is a bad thing, but whatever), I have too much money and yet not enough, I'm too generous and yet not generous enough, my house is too big, my house is too small, I don't work out enough, I don't work hard enough, I follow too many rules and yet I break too many rules, I'm a feminist and yet I am antifeminist, I'm too accepting and at the same time I'm judgmental, I drive the wrong car, I live in the wrong neighborhood, I travel too much, I listen to the wrong kind of music, I like to dance, I sing too loud yet not enough, I watch movies, I spend too much time with my family yet not enough time with my family, and on and on and on.
And at the same time I'm having all of these judgements thrown at me, I find myself throwing these same judgmental statements out on others I come in contact with. And just because someone else may be making critical statements about me does not give me the right, or make it right, when I turn around and do the same thing. And, if truth be known, that's what I really AM doing wrong. Not those other things that I mentioned above. My greatest errors in life happen when I chose to look at others with critical eyes rather than with loving eyes. Hmmm.....
"If you judge people you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa
"You can't be compassionate when you're in a judgmental state of mind."
"Kind mercy wins over harsh judgement every time." James 2:13 the message
"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, over flowing with mercy and blessings." James 3:17 message
"Don't bad mouth each other, friends. It's God's word, His message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You're supposed to be honoring the message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?" James 4:11-12
I love the following story a former pastor of mine. Dary Northrop tells about the power of love versus the power of judgement. Here's the story in Pastor Northrop's own words:
"One Sunday a young woman attended service and was radically saved. She was a stripper. She found the Lord in spite of our best efforts. Her friends came to her water baptism, and they found the Lord. These were not the girls next door that many churches attract. Soon they were joined by all kinds of people--people with body piercings, people with tattoos-- people whose appearance seemed to run counter to what we thought appropriate for a church.
These people did not seem to fit into our Sunday School classes or small groups. At first, we were unable to minister to these new believers. We could not connect with their world, and that opened our eyes. So we determined we would change. Out of that determination our mission and theme, Let Love Live, was born. Those three words gave us the power to tell our visitors that no matter who they are or where they come from, we will let love live.
We discovered that God's love is alive and well. Christians often put God's love in a box and try to define it through prejudicial filters. When you love people the way they are, you value them as God's creation. That kind of love changes your perspective. You begin to see their God-given value."
If we stop being judgmental to others, we could start focusing on the things that actually matter."
"Make a conscious decision to look for what is right and pleasing in others. Create a new habit of complimenting those around you. Turn judgements into blessings."
"All around you there are people who are hurting, people who need your love, people who need your encouragement. Let God use your gifts and talents to bless them."
"I don't have to agree with you to like and respect you."
So, I'm asking myself and you this question, Do you lead with judgement or encouragement? I will be the first to admit that I'm am completely imperfect. I am in need of forgiveness, compassion, understanding, love, and encouragement every day. I am often bothered when someone makes what I feel is a judgmental or condemning statement about me, or my family, or my friends. So why would I turn around and do something that is hurtful to me, to someone else?
This is a big issue, and I'm still working on it. Learning to lead with compassion first. I may not agree with an opinion you have, or an action you take, but I will agree with God's view of you.
And how does God view you?
You are an extremely talented, gifted, beautiful, human being who is greatly, immeasurably, infinitely loved by God. You are so loved by God that He sent His only son to die for you. You are so important to God that he wants to spend the rest of eternity with you. You are so valued by God that He wants to bring healing, joy, and fulfillment to your life. You are not insignificant. You are not what other people say or think about you. You have a future, a purpose, and a hope before you.
So that's how God sees you. That's how I am going to choose to see you too. And, that's how God sees me, and that is how I am going to see me as well.
I'll leave you with a couple of photos from a fountain in Florence, Italy. When we were there our guide was telling us that they called this fountain the "ugly" statue. Now, admittedly, they were judging this piece against Michelangelo's "The David", which sets a high standard. But as she was talking about all of the things that make this statue "ugly" such as lack of proportion, the type of stone used, etc.... I found myself looking at it and finding beauty instead. Isn't that just the perfect story and perspective for this day? Oh, and forgive the nakedness.... they do a lot of naked in Europe, much to my sons great embarrassment.
Ok... I admit it. There are times, and sometimes there are multiple moments in a day, where I find myself rolling my eyes at something someone is doing or saying. And yes, I know it's not a very grown up thing to do, but it's often better for me to roll my eyes than to open my mouth and say what I am thinking. I am definitely one of those people that should put a little thought into what I say before saying it.
And that's not all I do wrong. Apparently (according to pinterest, various how to and self improvement books, T.V. shows, random people at the mall, church, grocery store etc...) there's a whole slew of things I do wrong. According to "them" I am the the multi-tasking queen of doing multiple things wrong all at the same time. It is time for me to just stand here in my wrongness and be wrong. Depending on who you listen to: I vote for the wrong people, I make poor parenting decisions, I spend my money inappropriately, I dress too conservatively and too young for my age, I don't eat the right food, I'm not educated enough and yet I'm too educated, I'm too compassionate, yet not compassionate enough, I'm too short, I'm too fat, I enjoy my life too much, I'm too proud of my family, I'm too lenient on my son and yet too hard on him, I clean my house wrong, I'm too outspoken yet I don't speak up enough, I pray too much and yet I don't spend enough time in prayer, I'm too spiritual yet not spiritual enough, I don't iron clothes (that's not changing), I don't attend enough church services, I'm too friendly and yet too involved in my clique of people, I have non-Christian friends (I don't even know why that is a bad thing, but whatever), I have too much money and yet not enough, I'm too generous and yet not generous enough, my house is too big, my house is too small, I don't work out enough, I don't work hard enough, I follow too many rules and yet I break too many rules, I'm a feminist and yet I am antifeminist, I'm too accepting and at the same time I'm judgmental, I drive the wrong car, I live in the wrong neighborhood, I travel too much, I listen to the wrong kind of music, I like to dance, I sing too loud yet not enough, I watch movies, I spend too much time with my family yet not enough time with my family, and on and on and on.
And at the same time I'm having all of these judgements thrown at me, I find myself throwing these same judgmental statements out on others I come in contact with. And just because someone else may be making critical statements about me does not give me the right, or make it right, when I turn around and do the same thing. And, if truth be known, that's what I really AM doing wrong. Not those other things that I mentioned above. My greatest errors in life happen when I chose to look at others with critical eyes rather than with loving eyes. Hmmm.....
"If you judge people you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa
"You can't be compassionate when you're in a judgmental state of mind."
"Kind mercy wins over harsh judgement every time." James 2:13 the message
"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, over flowing with mercy and blessings." James 3:17 message
"Don't bad mouth each other, friends. It's God's word, His message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You're supposed to be honoring the message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?" James 4:11-12
I love the following story a former pastor of mine. Dary Northrop tells about the power of love versus the power of judgement. Here's the story in Pastor Northrop's own words:
"One Sunday a young woman attended service and was radically saved. She was a stripper. She found the Lord in spite of our best efforts. Her friends came to her water baptism, and they found the Lord. These were not the girls next door that many churches attract. Soon they were joined by all kinds of people--people with body piercings, people with tattoos-- people whose appearance seemed to run counter to what we thought appropriate for a church.
These people did not seem to fit into our Sunday School classes or small groups. At first, we were unable to minister to these new believers. We could not connect with their world, and that opened our eyes. So we determined we would change. Out of that determination our mission and theme, Let Love Live, was born. Those three words gave us the power to tell our visitors that no matter who they are or where they come from, we will let love live.
We discovered that God's love is alive and well. Christians often put God's love in a box and try to define it through prejudicial filters. When you love people the way they are, you value them as God's creation. That kind of love changes your perspective. You begin to see their God-given value."
If we stop being judgmental to others, we could start focusing on the things that actually matter."
"Make a conscious decision to look for what is right and pleasing in others. Create a new habit of complimenting those around you. Turn judgements into blessings."
"All around you there are people who are hurting, people who need your love, people who need your encouragement. Let God use your gifts and talents to bless them."
"I don't have to agree with you to like and respect you."
So, I'm asking myself and you this question, Do you lead with judgement or encouragement? I will be the first to admit that I'm am completely imperfect. I am in need of forgiveness, compassion, understanding, love, and encouragement every day. I am often bothered when someone makes what I feel is a judgmental or condemning statement about me, or my family, or my friends. So why would I turn around and do something that is hurtful to me, to someone else?
This is a big issue, and I'm still working on it. Learning to lead with compassion first. I may not agree with an opinion you have, or an action you take, but I will agree with God's view of you.
And how does God view you?
You are an extremely talented, gifted, beautiful, human being who is greatly, immeasurably, infinitely loved by God. You are so loved by God that He sent His only son to die for you. You are so important to God that he wants to spend the rest of eternity with you. You are so valued by God that He wants to bring healing, joy, and fulfillment to your life. You are not insignificant. You are not what other people say or think about you. You have a future, a purpose, and a hope before you.
So that's how God sees you. That's how I am going to choose to see you too. And, that's how God sees me, and that is how I am going to see me as well.
I'll leave you with a couple of photos from a fountain in Florence, Italy. When we were there our guide was telling us that they called this fountain the "ugly" statue. Now, admittedly, they were judging this piece against Michelangelo's "The David", which sets a high standard. But as she was talking about all of the things that make this statue "ugly" such as lack of proportion, the type of stone used, etc.... I found myself looking at it and finding beauty instead. Isn't that just the perfect story and perspective for this day? Oh, and forgive the nakedness.... they do a lot of naked in Europe, much to my sons great embarrassment.
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