What are you doing about it?

"Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining."  Teddy Roosevelt

I remember a conversation I was having when I was in my early 20's (and knew everything) with an older woman about all the "social ills" taking place .  You know, discussions of poverty, education, violence... etc...   As I was talking about (really complaining about) these issues this kind, patient, compassionate woman asked me a question that stopped my in my tracks.  She said, "Wow, those are a lot of problems to worry about.  But let me ask you this, what are you doing about it?  Are you just complaining about these issues while waiting for someone else to take care of the problem, or are you actively seeking to be part of the solution?"  (You can insert the sound of a semi truck coming to a screeching halt here).

As the political scene begins to heat up in the face of the upcoming presidential election, it seems that the level of complaint ratchets up as well.  Now listen, I'm not saying that we shouldn't hold our government officials accountable for finding solutions to our problems.  However, why are we waiting for our government to fix things?  Last I checked, this country belonged to all of us, not just those in office.  So if we own this country, don't we then, by default, own some of the accountability for coming up with solutions also?  We as individuals need to step up and come up with solutions on our own.   We need to grab ownership of not only pointing out the problems, but also take on the responsibility to find and implement solutions.

"Whatever the problem, be part of the solution.  Don't just stand around raising questions and pointing out obstacles."  Tina Fey

"I alone can't change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."  Mother Teresa

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one."  Mother Teresa

"Do small things with great love."  Mother Teresa

Finding ways to "help" often means being humble.  I think we often want to somehow implement a big "grand" solution.  We are not interested in the small stuff.  In fact, we often do not see the value in the small.  I for one, know that there are people out there like Bill Gates, who have the money and influence to do great things on a big scale.  I am not at that level.  But, I can do something on a smaller scale.  My stone may be smaller than Bill Gates, but my ripples in the water can, and will have an effect.  It's a cop-out to say that I can't do anything because I have less than someone else to give.  I don't think God expects you to give beyond what you have, but he does expect you to give what you can.  Does that make sense?

When tackling the issues around you, you need to let go of this notion that because someone has more than you, they should be the one to shoulder all the burden.  It is not your job to point this out to them.  God is not going to hold you responsible for what someone else does.  He will, however, hold you responsible for what you do.

Can you imagine the change that could take place in this world if we all just did our part?  If we simply set aside all of the thoughts about what we can't do, and instead focused on what we can do?  You see, what we are all  to share love.  And love is an action word, not a descriptive word.  True love requires action.

"Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions."  Tony Robbins

Let's shift our thinking.  Instead of complaining, lets figure out what small thing we can do to help solve the problem.  Let's turn our nation into a nation of doers instead of complainers.  Let's learn the value of small loving actions.  Quit waiting for someone else to come sweeping in with a big solution. Quit pointing out what other people are not doing and instead focus on what you are doing.

Yes, there are a lot of social wrongs and ills in the world today.  Things like poverty, hunger, illiteracy, violence,  etc..  So I ask you today,  What are you doing about it?

I'll leave you with this quote from JFK engraved in stone at Arlington National Cemetery.

Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly

Have you ever wondered what God wants you to do exactly?  Why you are here?  What are the "right" things to do?  What the rules are?

The answers can seem overwhelming.  Especially if you go around asking people for their opinions on the matter.  I'm sure the compiled list would be quite long.  And I think it's the thought of that long, long list of things to do that turns many people off. Or, the list might be small, but impossible to complete.  This small list could contain words like perfection.  That's intimidating.  There is no way for anyone to be completely perfect.  It's unattainable.  And that's just depressing.

I need a simple, yet attainable list.  Yet, I don't want my list to be shallow, or lacking depth.  Nor do I want it to be so mired in theology that I don't even understand what it means, let alone figure out how to accomplish anything.  For me, Micah 6:8 answers the question in a way that I can understand it, yet with a depth to it that I feel like I'm not setting a shallow or easy goal.

It says this:

"And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."  NIV

"What is God looking for in men and women?  It's quite simple:  Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don't take yourself too seriously-- take God seriously."  the Message

So what does it mean, to act justly?  It means to to do what is morally right, to be honest, to have integrity.  I think that this a concept that appeals to a lot of people.  We, as a society, do not like it when we perceive that something is not fair.  This seems, on the surface at least, to be an easy and simple task.

And yet, sometimes we find ourselves tempted to use justice to justify doing something that may not be quite fair.  An example of this can be drawn from a sports event.  When we feel that a member of the team we are not rooting for does something that might be considered cheating, like grabbing a face mask, we stand up loudly and are quick to point it out.  However, if it is one of our team members doing the grabbing, we are usually quiet.  And if our team member gets away with it, don't we sometimes silently cheer the fact that they didn't get caught?  Or sometimes we make excuses, like, their team has been doing it the whole game, or it wouldn't have made a difference on the outcome.  In other words, the ends justify the means.  It can be a slippery slope, this act justly thing.  I mean, who cares if we cheated a little on our taxes if we need the money and all the "rich" people are doing it too.  So what if we get a little more change back than we should when paying for an item, the store/company/whatever makes a lot of money, one dime won't matter. I think you can see where this is going.  The problem is that if people do not feel like you are trustworthy or honest, or fair in the little things, how can you be trusted with the big things?  Trust lost is hard to gain back. One compromise in integrity makes the next compromise easier.

And now we get to the love mercy part.  I think we are all drawn to mercy.  We are aware of our need for it in our lives.  But, we tend to love mercy when it comes to ourselves, and yet we are stingy with it when it comes to anyone else.  Compassionate love is often easy to give to a child, or to someone who has had a tragic situation happen.  But we want to have levels of mercy and love.  We want to say that some people deserve it more.  It's harder to have compassion on someone who has hurt us.  It's hard to believe that a criminal could and should receive mercy from God.

I'll admit that this is my area of greatest struggle.  Intellectually I know that God loves EVERYONE.  I know that God can and does show love and mercy and forgiveness to everyone.  But, I'll be honest, there are some people that I have a hard time showing that compassion and love to.  I'm still working on this one.

"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."  Proverbs 13:10

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:3-4 NIV

"Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends.  Don't push your way to the front;  don't sweet talk your way to the top.  Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.  Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage.  Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."  Philippians 2:3-4 the Message

And then we get to the walk humbly portion of the list.  Humility is hard. It's hard because it requires us to take a back seat.  It is hard because it requires us to acknowledge that we have weaknesses.  Humility requires us to live with vulnerability.  Humility requires us to acknowledge that we don't know everything.  Humility requires us to ask others for help.  Humility requires us to be honest about ourselves.  Humility puts others first.  Humility requires us to acknowledge that God is in control, not us.

Each of these points on the list are, in and of themselves, good.  But it is the combination of the three, act justly, love mercy, walk humbly, that God is looking for.  Justice needs love to balance it out.  Love needs justice to ensure that integrity is maintained.  And humility is the glue that keeps us from becoming rigid, intolerant, and arrogant.

That's my list.  Simple, yet complex.  I am striving to accomplish the tasks that God has set before me, using this simple list to help ensure that I complete what I should in a way that is pleasing to God.  I am not on this planet to simply suck up air and return nothing.  Even if what I do seems insignificant to others, I know that I will have played a part in making this place better.

I'll leave you with a quote:

"I long to accomplish great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty and joy to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble."  Helen Keller

The Truth About Leadership

I haven't blogged in while.  Truth is,  we've been busy.  And, I haven't really felt a pressing need to "say" anything.  I'm not one to just fill space just because I can, so I haven't.  Part of our recent busyness can be attributed to the great "College Prep & Hunt" that we are currently involved in with our son, who is ending his Junior year in High School.  For those of you who have younger children, let me tell you that this college process is far different than the process my husband and I went through.  Needless to say, it's a little baffling, exciting, and a complete and utter time-sucking experience.

Which brings me to the topic at hand.  We have been participating in an unholy number of "University Campus Tours" as of late and I began to notice a theme in all the endless propaganda of why said son should pick this school and why we, as parents, should pay for it.  Almost all the Universities we have visited mention some form of "leadership" program.  I'm talking above and beyond the usual student government opportunities.  It seems to me that this (along with service programs) has become the new, "it"  program throughout the nation.  And, I think these leadership programs are a good idea, in general.

We visited High Point University last week and they have probably one of the most comprehensive "leadership" programs I have ever seen.  Now, they don't necessarily call it by that name, but a rose by any other name is still a rose.  The University is led by their very charismatic president, Dr. Nido Qubein, who believes strongly in building character alongside  of knowledge. He believes in this concept so much that all Freshman are required to take series of courses with Dr. Quebein entitled the "Presidents Seminar of Life Skills," where students will be taught the fundamentals of leadership, the art of goal setting, time management skills, effective communication skills, fundamentals of fiscal literacy, the principles of stewardship, and etiquette and protocol.  Each incoming freshman is assigned   a Freshman Success Coach who helps them with Academic Advising and serves as a Liaison between freshman and other university staff.  Freshmen are also teamed up with a student who will help them find and participate in activities that interest them.  The culmination of this program is the "Presidents's Seminar for Seniors", which focuses on how to transition into the corporate world.  It is truly one the most extraordinary programs I've ever witnessed.

Which made me think about Leadership, and what people know and don't know about it.  And believe me, I'm not an expert on leadership, but there are a few things that I have learned over the years.  These are a few key elements about leadership that I wish to pass down to my son.

1. A title doesn't make you a leader.  A person with a "leadership" title isn't a leader unless people are    willing to follow him/her.  To be a true leader, and an effective leader, you must have someone to lead.  If you ever find yourself with a leadership title and no followers, something is wrong, and needs to be fixed.

2. A true leader never asks his or her followers to do something that they are unwilling to do themselves.  In fact, a good leader will lead by example, being willing to pitch in and do the work alongside everyone else.

3. Respect is earned, it doesn't automatically come with a leadership title. You earn respect by showing respect to others.

4. A good leader will listen to criticism.  It doesn't mean that the leader will accept the criticism as true, or even change their approach, but a true leader should always be willing to weigh whether or not the criticism is merited and requires change.

5. All leaders are at some point the object of gossip, criticism, and hard feelings.  Being a leader means that sometimes you have to make hard, unpopular decisions.  If you cannot handle people talking about you, you may not be cut out for leadership.

6. Leadership often requires you to go above and beyond what is simply required.  I know a lot of people who want the "leadership title" and the perceived perks, but want none of the responsibility or hard work.   Here's a hard truth about being a leader.  Most leaders do not get paid overtime when they work more than the required 9-5.  My husband has a leadership title, and he is often the first one in the office and the last one to leave.  He has to travel often. He sometimes misses our child's school events, fun family activities, etc... He is technically "on call" 24/7.    He gets work related phone calls during vacations, school events, dinner, and other non-work related activities.   In fact, a couple of years ago, we were in Venice, riding in a Gondola down the Grand Canal (which is probably one of the most romantic things you can do), when he received and had to answer a work phone call.  Seriously, there we were, in the most romantic place on earth, and I'm just sitting there, listening to his conversation with one of his employees. There are many evenings when he sits down and catches up on work email in the evenings after we have had dinner.  It's part of the deal, and he loves his job, but it does require  some sacrifice.

7. It takes time, effort, and training to earn the title of leader.  My husband knew that in order for him to have the career he wanted, he needed to be trained.  He went to college, and earned his degree.  He worked several part time jobs during the school season and then worked construction jobs during the summer in order to pay for college.  He looked for people to mentor him (and still does) while working his way up.  He also looked for opportunities to gain leadership experience by volunteering to work on projects outside of and beyond the duties assigned to him in his job description. My husband has put in 26 years of hard work to earn his title.  He worked his way up.  This took some time.  He was not given his current title and position straight out of college.

8.  A good leader recognizes the need for a good team and accepts the responsibility of having employees.  A great leader recognizes and honors the responsibility that a leader has towards providing his/her employees with opportunities, training, and a quality work environment.  All great leaders recognize that leadership isn't about them, it's about others.

9. A great leader leads by example.  She/He should practice all the qualities and characteristics that she/he expects from their employees.  Things such as integrity, honesty, loyalty, and respect.

10. A truly great leader is grateful.  They are grateful for the opportunities awarded them in life, they are grateful for their employees.  They are humble and willing to admit to mistakes.  They are also willing to learn from their mistakes and do better next time.

Finally.  Not everyone is cut out for leadership.  If you are not willing to assume some of the sacrifice and hard work it takes to be in a leadership position, that's ok.  Leadership is hard.  Leadership often requires a high level of responsibility.  Your worth, value and contribution to this world is not measured on whether or not you are a leader.  But, if you do decide to take on a leadership role, do so with the full knowledge of what leadership entails, and with a willingness to accept the great responsibility that comes with leadership.

I'll leave you with a photo of my son.  I can't believe that college is already knocking on our doorstep.  But I am excited!  This is what we have worked so hard for, to launch him out into the world to become someone who contributes to the world in a positive way.  I'm very proud of him.  To quote Dr. Seuss, "Oh, the places he will go..."

Get Some Skin in the Game

My husband had an interesting flight last week.  He flew down to Charlotte on a small plane with two co-workers and the pilot, for a business meeting at the Charlotte office.  The flight down was uneventful, but the landing was not.  When landing in foggy conditions, the plane overshot the runway, skidded down the field, went off another 30 foot embankment and did what amounts to a big belly flop at the bottom.  Very scary stuff!  And Jeff (my husband) had a front row seat for all the excitement, since he was sitting up by the pilot.  Needless to say, grateful doesn't even begin to express the feeling we all have at the fact that everyone walked away relatively unharmed.

While recalling the accident, my husband said to me, "There was a moment when I looked down, and I could tell that we were too far down the runway to land on it.  I don't know why I didn't just pipe up and say something to the pilot about it.  I guess I figured that he knew what was going on and that he had it under control.  Or maybe we were landing on another runway or something."

Now, I invite you take a leap with me here and apply this to our everyday lives.  Have you ever felt like you could see the plane wreck coming, or even taking place, and yet you just stood there on the sidelines, not saying or doing anything?  My guess is that we do that all the time.  We all see situations that are going badly on a daily basis.  We may even say something like, "That's too bad"  or "I can't believe that this _____ is happening."  We may go so far as to put a name to it.

But, just having empathy or putting a name to it doesn't really change the situation.  Change requires action. And in the action part, I know that I often fail miserably.  Sometimes my inaction is caused by feeling overwhelmed by the situations I see.  Sometimes, my inaction is linked to my own sense of inadequacy.  Sometimes my lack of action is due to my lack of empathy.  And, if I am being honest, sometimes my inaction is due to my aversion to putting myself on the line for something.  Or straight up laziness on my part.  In other words, I want to complain about it, but I don't really want to be the one that does the hard work of changing the situation.  It is simply easier for me to let someone else is take care of it, believing that they have it under control.

But I'm here to tell you something.  If there is something that you believe needs to be changed, the only way to really change the situation is to "Put some skin in the game."  You can't just "call the situation out" and expect change to happen.  You have to do the hard work of putting your shoulder to the ground and pushing forward.  And the problem with that is that while you are putting your head down and gritting your teeth to push foreword, you are leaving your back vulnerable to attack.  And no one enjoys that feeling.  It is human nature to protect our back.  No one likes to feel vulnerable. To leave your skin exposed in a way that someone can come along and cause harm.

But that is exactly what it takes.  It takes opening yourself up, being vulnerable, and letting love pour out of you unheeded to bring about change.  And I think this is the scariest thing in all the world to do.  It is definitely one the hardest things to do.  It is for me, anyway.  And I'm not talking about action that is loud, or big, or extreme.  Sometimes the action is as simple as contacting people you know to start an encouraging letter campaign for the staff of a local school.  And yet, that process of simply reaching out to others to join you can feel like a position of great vulnerability.  What if they think you are weird?  What if they criticize you?  What if no one else joins in?

And yet, here is the great thing I have discovered about love.  True actions of love seem to self multiply.  By that I mean, that people sense when love is being poured out, and they are drawn to it like bees to honey.  Those moments when I have made a few, small, brave steps forward to enact small, seemingly insignificant, changes, people have responded and stepped up in BIG ways.  Yes, there have been some that have criticized the action.  There have been doubters.  But by and large, those that have stepped up in love have far outweighed and out numbered the critics.

I'm telling you that actions of love can do incredible things.  This is a God principle.  He knows that small actions of love multiply.  Why do you think that he commanded us to love one another?  Love in action can break down the biggest walls, break through the thickest of chains, and can cause changes so big that the ripple effects are seen throughout generations.

I'm not telling you to go out and tackle the biggest social issues around you, but I'm not telling you that you shouldn't either.  I am telling you to not discount the "small stuff."  The seemingly insignificant stuff.  Do small acts of love.  Find ways big and small to create positive change right where you are.  Quit complaining about the problems around you and get some skin in the game. If we all just practiced small acts of love on a daily basis, the impact we could have on our families, communities, nation, and our wold could be limitless.  It could be world changing.  It could be life changing.

I'll leave you with a photo of my handsome husband!  I am so beyond grateful that God had his hand of him last week.  He is a source of great joy and love in my life, and he probably has no idea of the ripple effects his love for others brings into this world.  I'm so excited to see what God has in store for him!

In My House, No One Goes Hungry....

Have you ever had a piece of scripture from the Bible just come up and smack you?  In a good way?  Oh man, this happened to me this week.  And it is a verse I've probably read many times, but something about reading it this time just hit me.  Here it is:

"He stood me up on a wide open field;  I stood there saved---surprised to be loved!" 
 Psalm 18:19,  the message

And that verse lead me to the old hymn, I Stand Amazed, which is featured in the video above.

It's the second half of that verse that hit me... I stood there saved-- surprised to be loved.  Take a moment and meditate on that.  Savor it.  Let it settle down into your bones.

This week I have had a couple of opportunities to hang out with some young people and have had some fairly serious talks with a few of them.  And in these talks, a theme has emerged... they are desperate to believe that they are loved by someone.  Anyone.  That they can be loved.  They are seeking love in any form that they can get it.  They want someone to tell them that they matter.  And it breaks my heart, because I know that several of them do not know that they are loved.

I don't believe that our youth are the only ones feeling this desperate need for love.  Our whole culture seems to built around this craving.  The need for endless attention = a need for love.  The need for collecting and buying material things = a need for love. I would say the even the violence we are seeing can be attributed to rage against not feeling loved.

But I know the secret-- the secret is that they are ALL desperately and greatly loved by a God who would give up His very sons life to prove that point.  And even though Jesus life story is fairly well known, for some reason, the love part of the story seems to be a deep dark secret to a lot of people.

That's why when we show people around us love through our actions, they stand there amazed and surprised.  They have bought into the lie that they are not loved.

Let me tell you today, if you are feeling unloved or unloveable... it's a LIE.  A complete and utter lie.  YOU ARE LOVED!  Let me say it again, You-- the real you, not the fake you that you present to others, the real you.  The one that has very real faults.  The you that is broken.  The you that is less than perfect.  That you.  That you is loved, and loved deeply and fully.  Just as you are.  God loves you.  He always has and He always will.

And if you know this secret, this secret of love, do your best to not keep it a secret.  You need to  share it by showing love to everyone you come into contact with. In the words of Bob Goff, you need to  "leak love."  Take a moment and remember how it felt when you finally discovered that you were loved.  In fact, it would be good for us to start each day just standing in awe in our own "wide open fields" and reflecting on the fact that we are saved and feeling yet again that heart stopping, heart mending, moment of realizing how greatly we are loved.

 I find myself wanting to just gather up these young people in my Mommy arms and hold them tight, while whispering words of the great love that God has for them.  And tell them that I love them and that they are deserving of love.  That they are seen and heard.  I can't always hug them, but I show them love through ways that teenagers understand, by talking to them, by listening to them (even when I don't understand what they are saying), and by feeding them good food.  They are welcome at my table.  They are loved in my house.  I have a saying on my wall above the door to my dining room that says, "Nella mia casa nessumo va affamato" which translates to "In my house, no one goes hungry."  It reminds me that all who come into my home will be fed good food and a steady diet of love.

That's all I have today-- a simple message.  Not even a new message.  But an important one.  One that God reminded me of this week.

I'll leave you today with a little "broader" view of Psalm 18.

"But me he caught---reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning.  They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me.  He stood me up on a wide-open field;  I stood there saved--surprised to be loved!  God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. "  Psalm 18 16-21  the message



                              

Failing Spectacularly... Whole chickens and yoga...

Failure.  I don't know about you, but I hate that word.  And I have spent an extraordinary amount of time in my life trying to avoid having that word attached to me or anything I do.  And in spite of my avoidance tactics, I have and do fail often, and sometimes spectacularly.

Like the time I tried to cut up a whole chicken....Here's the backstory... Jeff and I were newly married and extremely broke.  Like, after bills, we had very little money left for food and gas broke.  And while shopping for food, Jeff pointed out to me that it was cheaper to buy the whole chicken rather than a cut up one.  Granted, it was like only maybe 50 cents cheaper, but did I mention we were broke, and Jeff was in college, and I was working at a daycare, and we had no money. I mean broke.... and our apartment was all electric heat--with big windows--during the coldest winter on record in Colorado--broke--like in our heating bill was bigger than our rent payment-- broke.  Seriously, we wore layers and coats inside our apartment all winter long.  People would come over and try to hand me their coats, and I was all like, ummmm... you might want to keep that on.

Anyway, back to the chicken story.  I argued with Jeff over that chicken.  I had never, ever, in my life cut up a whole chicken.  But Jeff finally convinced me that it was easy-- any idiot could cut up a chicken, and we could buy something sweet to eat with that extra 50 cents.... and so we came home with a whole chicken, a lot of Top Ramen Noodles, and a 50 cent box of brownie mix.  The next evening I pulled out that chicken along with my new Betty Crocker cookbook that we had received as a wedding present, determined to roast and cut up said chicken.  Thank God the cookbook told me to remove the "innards" from the chicken, that could have been interesting.  So, I put all the ingredients together, and slapped that bad boy into the oven.  The whole place smelled so good.  But then the time came to remove said chicken and cut it up.  That's when I discovered that apparently, this idiot couldn't cut up a chicken.  Not for lack of trying, or cut and bruised fingers.  Jeff arrived home to a few pieces of mangled chicken, and a wife whose hands were covered in bandaids.  He looked at me, and then at that poor chicken sitting on a plate on an elegantly dressed table (as elegant as we got back then which meant a tablecloth, wedding china and candles) and said, "What on earth did you do to that chicken?"  At which point I gave him the stare of death, and promptly marched into the bedroom and slammed the door to have a good cry. My carefully planned dinner turned into an astounding, and somewhat costly, failure.

Or how about the time I decided to take up yoga on the advice of my doctor after having fallen down some stairs and injuring my back.  I was practically giddy with the idea of learning a new skill, and getting healthy, and just overall looking like all of those fantastic famous women who "practiced" yoga to stay fit and healthy.  And, if I could help strengthen the muscles in my back at the same time? Win, win!  Ha!   How hard can this be, it's just stretching and balance, right?  I mean, it was almost like cheating-- getting a workout with little effort.  Plus, I got to go out and buy some cute "yoga" clothing and a pretty colored mat.  Cool!  And then, I actually tried yoga.  The first pose, Child's pose, didn't look so bad.  Except that I noticed as I looked at the yoga instructor that she could like fold up in this tight little ball, and she could really bend at her waist, and oh wow, her arms actually can touch the floor in that position?  Ok, well, I was close...it's all good.  And then we moved to the next pose which involved what I now recognize is a type of a plank, but it had a really pretty name.  I moved into that position no problem.  But then we stayed there.  For like a REAAALLLY LOOONNNNGGG time.  And my arms began to shake....Houston, we might have a problem.  Then the instructor began to talk about breathing...  Deep breath in.... Deep breath out.... Except I was more like panting.  Ok, so I need to work on my breathing....We finally moved on to Downward Facing Dog. I think I might have actually snorted out loud laughing when I heard the instructor name the position. Whatever.  This position felt really good on my back.  Ok, yoga is redeeming itself again.  Until the instructor said this phrase, "Now slowly relax your legs and ankles to where your feet are flat on the floor."  Ok, how do you even relax anything in this position?  And my arms are doing that shaking thing again.  Then we did the impossible thing of lifting one leg into the air, and breathing, and relaxing....I was so grateful when we made it upright into warriors pose that I could have cried.  I was feeling like I could rock warriors pose like a freaking yoga warrior princess.   That is until we added movement to the pose.  We had to lift our arms up, then move them to the sides outstretched, and then twist at the waist, remembering to breathe,  and then we got to put one hand down on the ground and look up with soft eyes...   What the what?  Soft eyes?  My whole body was shaking, I couldn't control my breathing, and I was supposed to relax and look up.  Right..... I'm not sure what expression I had on my face at this point, but I'm reasonably sure that my eyes were not "soft."

Oh my, I'm laughing so hard at myself right now and my confident journeys into failure.  And I know that these are some funny, and relatively harmless examples.  I know that sometimes failure has bigger consequences than just sore muscles or cut up fingers.  But I have also learned that at some point in our lives we are going to fail.  And, if  failure is going to happen, I want to make sure that I do so spectacularly and that I walk away from that failure with some form of new knowledge on how to do better next time.  I do not wish to avoid risks because I am afraid to fail.  You see, I need to quit letting the fear of failure rule me.  When I refuse to try something new because of fear of failure, I miss out on learning new things.  I miss out on some the the greatest joys and laughter.  I do not want the fear of failure to keep me from living a full life.  And it is important for me to not judge myself solely on my failures, I'm made up of so much more than that.  And so are you!  You are a compilation of both failures and successes.

I'm reading a book by one of my new heroes, Bob Goff, entitled "Love Does."  It's all about doing what God has called us to do, which is to love greatly.  And loving greatly requires being willing to take some risk.  Being willing to fail.  But I would rather fail while loving greatly than to play it safe and be stingy with love.  I find that it's a little bit like yoga, in that loving greatly requires me to stretch myself by being in positions that are a little uncomfortable, positions where I am barely maintaining my balance and gasping for breath.  And sometimes, like when I tried to cut up that chicken, loving greatly leaves its mark on me in the form of some small cuts that I have to bandage and heal.

Back to the chicken and the yoga.  Jeff and I have come to a marriage saving agreement regarding chicken.  I buy it whole or cut up, depending on what I am in the mood to cook.  However, if I buy it whole, it is his duty to cut that sucker up.  I'm not, nor will I ever be, good at cutting up a chicken.  I just wasn't born with that gift.  And as far as yoga goes, I'm still doing it.  I'm not saying I do it well, but I'm still learning.  I've gained a little more strength and breath control.  The soft eyes thing... not so much.  One of these days I'm going to be brave enough to practice my yoga in front of a great big mirror so I can laugh at myself...

Go out this week and love greatly!  Go out and if you fail, do so spectacularly!  Then learn from it and go out again.  And, if you are cooped up inside with nothing to do, pick up the book "Love Does."  I think it will stretch you and challenge you, in all the right ways.

I'll leave you with a few photos of the leaning tower of Pisa.  What an example of spectacular failure. This crazy tower, that is not straight, that is leaning, would be viewed by many as an  architectural failure.  And yet, because of its failure, it is now one of the most visited sights in the world.  Go figure.

Vision Casting.... Picturing How Great the World Could Be...

"What if instead of telling people how bad the world is, we start telling them how great the world could be."  Bianca Olthoff

Last week I started part of this conversation talking about the importance of well placed words.  I'm continuing this week with the thought of the power of well chosen words or Vision casting.  Did you know that sometimes your words are a type of vision casting?  By vision casting I mean using words to forecast or predict or influence a future outcome.

Think about that.  Here's an example of what I'm trying to get across:

Vision cast #1- This Godless world is in a free falling, downward spiral of sin, greediness, selfishness, hate, war, and depravity.

Vision cast #2 - The love of God can turn this sinful, desperate, despairing world into a joyous, caring, loving, and peaceful place.

The difference between these two statements is small, and yet BIG.  And what is the difference?  I believe the difference is hope.  Both statements acknowledge the faults and failings in this world, but only one statement offers hope and a solution.

"God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was.  He came to help, to put the world right again."  John 3:17  the message

Somewhere along the line we as Christians got horribly lost.  We tend to memorize John 3:16 and forget about the next verse.  We're so busy pointing an accusing finger, that we loose sight that the message of Jesus isn't about condemnation, but about hope.  You see, the Pharisees already had the condemnation part covered.  The part that was missing was the solution, the hope.  And sometimes, I must say that the church (and I am including myself in this "church"), casts the wrong vision.  Instead of casting a vision of hope, we cast a vision of hopelessness.  We put too much emphasis on the problem and not enough emphasis on the solution.  When we concentrate solely on the problem instead of the solution we are in effect refusing to acknowledge the power of God to step in and change the situation.  And that sounds like some dangerous ground to tread upon.

It is dangerous because we are not fulfilling our mission, what God has directly ordered us to do.  We are called to "share the good news," and to be "salt and light" to this world.  We are called to deliver the solution, not add to the problem.  It is important that we share the hope and solution with all we come into contact with, but I believe it is most important to cast this vision for our young people.  They have grown up in the "information age."  News from around the world is immediately available in real time.  And lets be real, most of the information available is not the uplifting, encouraging kind. Our news broadcasts are not filled with stories of hope.  It's overwhelming to me as an adult to be surrounded by all this information, I can't even imagine being surrounded and inundated with it as a young person.  No wonder they often seek solace in "fantasy" through games, or youtube, or other forms of electronic media.  The vision being cast for them by the adults in the world is grim.  They face worries of a polluted, more violent, less loving planet.  I would want to hide too.  And honestly, I sometimes do,  it's called Pinterest, and I am admittedly addicted.

The troubles of this world are not going to disappear anytime soon.  My challenge isn't to hide those problems, or to pretend that they don't exist. My challenge is to change the vision I am casting with my words.  My prayer is that my words cast a vision of hope, not despair.  That I speak louder, and more often about the solution,  than I do the problems.  That I model for those around me the hope of God instead of the the despair of the world.  To be a walking, talking, breathing example of what the love of a savior can do to lighten the dark places.

What vision are you casting?

I'll leave you with a few photos that remind me of how amazing God is.  And if you find yourself without a vision of hope today, I encourage you to begin seeking the hope that is already freely offered to you through Jesus.

Well Placed Words.....

I have been thinking about the impact of words, particularly the impact of well placed words.  Whether we want to believe it or not, words have power.  I have been listening to what my sons friends talk about, -- their concerns, their thoughts, their feelings, etc....  And they, as a whole, are greatly affected, positively and negatively,  by the words they hear.

This is not new knowledge.  We have known that what is said can have an impact on someone else's life.  And  we as a nation have had many countless debates about what we should be saying to our young people, and to others around us.  And of course, because we are human, and because we all have a deep need to be "right," we debate endlessly on how this should be done, what should be said.  There is one theory that says we shouldn't "build them up too much"  with our words.  Then there is the theory that you can't "build them up enough" with positive words.  One is too lenient, one is too harsh.  And somewhere in between is what I believe most of us strive for.

Young people are naturally going to follow the examples of those who are older (whether they admit it or not), those who have influence on them.  Just simply telling them how they should use their words doesn't cut it.  We must be an example.  And as an example, we, as adults, often fail at the art of using well placed words.  Look at those in politics-- they do not have conversations across party lines with the intent on achieving understanding and progress.  Instead, they spend their whole time figuring out how to discredit each other.  Newscasts are full of grim predictions.  Media reports regularly tout the problems of our young people-- they are lazy, disconnected, spoiled, etc...  And I will admit, that even I, as a parent, have lamented about some of the "problems" of our young people.  The words out there are many, especially in this new, very connected world,  but I ask you, are our words well placed? Or are they just adding more noise?

"Warn them before God against pious nitpicking, which chips away at the faith.  It just wears everyone out.  Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won't be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple.  Stay clear of pious talk that is only talk.  Words are not mere words, you know.  If they are not backed by a Godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul."
                                                                                     2 Timothy 2:14-17 the message

"Refuse to get involved in inane discussions;  they always end up in fights.  God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey."     2 Timothy 2:23-25  the message

When pondering the power of well placed words I immediately thought of  Gideon in the Bible.  In Judges 6:12 it states that:

"When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, "The Lord is with you mighty man of valor."

Wow!  What a great thing to have spoken to you by an angel of the Lord.  The word Valor means "Great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle."  And I find these words interesting. They are interesting because of the circumstance in which the angel found Gideon.  You see, at this time the Israelites were being overrun by the people of Midian and Amalek.  The Midian and the Amalek were constantly invading and stealing everything, including food, from the Israelites.  The people of Israel were so afraid that they were hiding out in caves. And Gideon was found by the angel hiding in a winepress, fearfully threshing wheat.  And this was the circumstance that the angel walked into and pronounced Gideon as a mighty man of valor.  Isn't that just like God to see the vision of who you are going to be, rather than the current state of who you are?

But I want you to note that these words, declared by an angel of God no less, didn't immediately change Gideon's perception of himself.  I mean, my first thought is that if God's angel said these words to me, I would immediately rise up and believe them to be true.  But of course, words don't work that way, no matter who says them.  You see, while that one statement was powerful, and powerfully delivered, Gideon had other words running through his mind that had been placed there long before the angel showed up.  And these words had power as well.  The Bible doesn't go into detail about Gideon's life before this event, but I think Gideon's response shows us a brief glimpse into what he had heard all his life from others.

"But Lord, Gideon asked, how can I save Israel?  My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family."  Judges 6:15

Three times the Lord tells Gideon that he is brave, that he has strength, and that he will be victorious because he is being sent by God.  And yet, because of the words placed in Gideon from others, he couldn't believe the words God was saying about him.

The story goes on, and Gideon eventually does become the mighty man of valor that God has called him to be.  But, Gideon continues to struggle with uncertainty, with insecurity, with doubt in himself and in God.  That's the power words have on a person.  Words have the power to make a person even doubt what God says about them.

And so, my prayer is that God will help me speak well placed words.  Words that bring life, wisdom, peace, healing, and goodness to those around me.  I pray that most of all, the words I place into the life of my son are words that help him see the vision of the man that God wants him to become.  The man that God can help him to become.  I am already seeing glimpses of the man my son can be, and I am amazed.

My challenge to you is to look for opportunities  to speak well placed words.  Not for opportunities to win an argument, not for opportunities to tear others down, but instead for opportunities to share with them God's vision of love and who they can become in Christ.  Lets not add to the "noise."  Instead, let's make an impact with words well placed.

I'll leave you with a couple of photo's of my son.  He recently attended his H.S. Winter Formal.  As I was taking photo's of him all dressed up in his suit, I kept seeing an overlay of the man he is becoming shining through his teenaged face.  And all I could think was -  wow!  Keagan - God has great things in store for you!  Go out and be a mighty man of valor in your life.  Catch the vision of what God wants for you and what He has in store for you!

Be Brave....

 "The new year means nothing if you're still in love with your comfort zone."

"Nothing changes if nothing changes."  Eric Thomas

About 3 or 4 years ago, I made a decision to begin to say yes more to things that scare me, things that make me a little uncomfortable, things that may make me change or learn something new.  I did it as a type of New Years resolution.  This one year resolution has now turned into a life habit-- one that has enhanced my life greatly, in many ways.  And don't get me wrong, I still weigh the pro's and cons, but I take a good look at the "why" part of my reluctance.  Am I reluctant to try this new thing because of a risk?  Is it a real risk, or just an excuse because I am scared to try, or I'm feeling insecure, or it may mean that I have to change (even if that change is for the better).

"I literally have to remind myself all the time, that being afraid of things going wrong isn't the way to make things go right."

"You don't have to have it all figured out to move forward."

"Normality is a paved road:  It's comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it."  Van Gogh

"You will not experience all life has to offer you or begin to experience life at it's fullest as long as you are satisfied with mediocrity."  Eric Thomas

"Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life."  Robin Sharma

This willingness to stand at the edge of the cliff and at least peak over the edge to see what lies beyond has brought a richness to my life that I greatly value.  Because I have been willing to force myself to step out of my comfort zone, I have discovered new passions.  I have traveled to places and experienced things that have added knowledge, understanding, and joy to my life.  I have formed rich and deep friendships with people who challenge me in good ways.  I have found more compassion.  I have found miracles that I might have previously overlooked.  I have found deep faith.  I have expanded my life more than I thought was possible.  There is a fulness to a life that pushes past my comfort zone.

"If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you."

And yet, even knowing all of this, I still find myself reluctant to say yes.  Hesitant to say yes to challenge, to change, to growth.  And the root of all this is fear.  Fear of what lies beyond the edge.  Fear of what this change might mean for me.  Fear of looking too deeply into myself.  Fear of what others may think or feel.  Fear of what may happen.  But I am learning to practice using my "brave muscle."  With each new yes, that muscle grows stronger.  And I am finding that what I fear most is missing out on great opportunity because I am simply afraid of trying something new.

"Never be afraid to try something new, because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know."

And the more I flex that "brave muscle" the more discontent I grow with living an average life.  I hope that I learn something new every day until the day I die.  I want to live a full life.  I want to fill my life with new experiences.  I want to continue to shift and change into the full potential of what God created me for (or as close as I can get to that potential while still on earth).  And I want my son to learn this lesson at a younger age than I did.  I want to teach him how to live life bravely, fully, and with anticipation of doing what God wants him to do.  And I want to teach him to not fear what God has in store for him.  Instead, to embrace it and lean into it, knowing that there is something there for him.  Something that will make his life richer in ways he doesn't fully comprehend yet.

So today, I want to encourage you to live life bravely.  To not be content with average.  To push your boundaries.  To face challenge and change with the knowledge that you do not face it alone.  Pray for wisdom to make good decisions.  Say yes to what God is offering to you, even if it is scary.  Even if it feels like you are being stretched beyond what is comfortable.  I want you to be brave!

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified;  do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you;  he will never leave you."  Deuteronomy 31:6

I'll leave you with a few photos of the ocean.  The ocean is an interesting thing.  It inspires many different feelings in people.  Some people fear it.  Some people fear what it contains, what lives in it.  And some people, dip their toes in it to experience it in a perceived "safe" way.  And that may be fine for some.  But to me, the best part of the ocean is what lies beneath the surface.  And there's only one way to experience that-- you have to fully immerse yourself in it.  Only then, by taking the risk, can you see all the beauty and wonder it contains.

365 New Days, 365 New Chances

I was clueless in 2014 about what my goal was or should be for the year.  And I can say that I am really glad to be done with 2014, for in a lot of ways and various reasons, it was a really challenging year.  In others, it was a fantastic year.  I'll take the good with the bad, and hopefully I learned something.  To be honest, I wasn't really seeking out a new "theme" for 2015.  I was just busy limping toward the finish line of 2014, with hope that 2015 would be calmer.  It's not that 2014 was bad, but you know how some years are just harder than others?  2014 was one of those.

And then one morning while praying, God brought to mind the following verse:

"See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up;  do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:19

Hmmm.  Interesting.  And I felt that somehow, this verse was an important clue as to what God has in store for 2015.

But, God being God, and knowing me and all my humanness, was apparently not satisfied with my response.  Low and behold, the sermon at our church the next week started out with:

"Be alert, be present.  I'm about to do something brand new.  It's bursting out!  Don't you see it?  There it is!  I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands."  Isaiah 43:19 the Message

And my ears perked up and took notice.  And the next few verses were read in the sermon:

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you."  Ezekiel 36:26

"He who was seated on the throne said, I am making everything new!" Revelation 21:5

Ok, I'm beginning to get the picture.  Even I am not that obtuse!  But apparently I still wasn't getting it because the next day a friend posted the Isaiah 43:19 verse on their page.

So I was now beginning to understand that this verse is going to be significant in 2015.

We were invited to spend New Year's week at a friends house in the Outer Banks.  It was a wonderful trip full of fun, friendship, and time spent making great memories together.  But I took the opportunity to walk the beach each day and repeat and pray that verse, over and over.  Trying to get that verse imbedded way down into the marrow of my bones, into the deepest reaches of my heart and soul, and into all the nooks and crannies of my brain.  The pessimistic side of my brain started to whisper to me, "Be careful.  Not every new thing is a good thing."  But I immediately re-read the verse and the second part, "I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland," stuck out.  Those are good things.  Good promises.  And I refuse to let doubt and fear steal the promises of God away from me.

So, I say all this to encourage you.  We have 365 new days.  365 new chances.  If you are discouraged, I encourage you to meditate on these verses.  Let them sink in.  Let them be a prayer that you repeat daily or even hourly.  Look expectantly for the good things that God has in store for 2015. Look for new opportunities.  Look for new roads in the desert.  Look for new rivers of life giving refreshment in what was once a wasteland.  Go boldly into 2015 with expectations that new blessings will manifest themselves in your life.  Go forward with joy.  Go forward with peace.  Go forward knowing that the God of the universe is directing your path, and He has good things planned.

I am praying that 2015 be filled with days of New Things for all.  Have a blessed 2015!

I'll leave you with some photos of a new day dawning in the Outer Banks.