We speak a different language at our house….

I don't know if other families do this or not, but at our house, we sometimes speak a little differently.  For some reason, throughout the years, we have adopted "one line tags" that we use frequently in our conversations.  Sometimes they are lines from movies or TV shows.  They are usually said in a funny or sarcastic way.  They are even sometimes irreverently used to poke fun at something or someone (we may need to "go down for an alter call" for our use of such phrases).

Oh, we do not mean to be offensive, really.  But sometimes, you just have to laugh off all the seriousness that floats around.  I mean really,  I have a teenager, and teenagers attract drama like honey attracts a bee.  We need something to lighten the load.  And can I get an amen from someone that sometimes all this "social media" could use a break from the drama river, and instead take a swim (or least dip it's big toe) in the fun pond?

So, I'm going to walk you through how to speak "Benintendinese", and please try to not be offended.  It's all in good fun.  And don't even get started with our phrases all you grammar Nazi's.  I know that many of them are not grammatically correct.  But in this case, we just don't care.

Benintendi phrase number 1.  Angry Elf.  Unapologetically stolen from the movie Elf.  We use this term to refer to the person who is a little over the top angry about an issue that really isn't a big thing.  Said person may or may not be tipping toward the crazy train of angry.  Proper usage:  "And then so and so went all angry elf."  or "Do not make me go all angry elf on you." or ""Was he/she an angry elf?"  or my personal favorite.. "Ohhhhh, he/she's an angry elf."  In all seriousness, can I just say that sometimes this phrase helps diffuse an otherwise tense situation.  Even if I just think it and never say it out loud, it keeps me more level headed in situations where it is tempting for me turn into Mount Vesuvius. (which is another term we use which means  turning into a volcano and spewing ash and punice all over someone.)

Phrase number 2.  Don't bite nobody. This is our version of saying go have a good time and play well with others.  I knew a family that said this phrase when I was growing up and we have now officially adopted it.  Proper usage:  "Go run hard and don't bite nobody (said to my son before he runs his race at track)."  or "Have a good day and don't bite nobody."

Phrase number 3.  Nailed it.  Used sarcastically for those times when you have definitely NOT nailed it.  No explanation needed.

Phrase number 4. I believe what we need is more cowbell.  Stolen from an old SNL skit and enthusiastically overused in our household.  Whenever something is just not quite right, it must need more cowbell.  Everything can be fixed by adding more cowbell.  We sometimes use the the phrase "More duct tape" instead.  Same meaning.  I know, we are truly strange little people with a weird sense of humor.

Phrase number 5.  My bad.  Not used as a true apology in our house. This phrase has replaced the term "whatever."  Usually used when I am responding to my teenagers complaint of how I have somehow ruined his life at that moment.  Hmmmm….. maybe he needs more cowbell?

Phrase number 6:  Oh for the love of Gelato! Picked up when my son fell in love with Gelato on a trip last year to Europe.  I believe that he hit every Gelato stand/store from Barcelona to Venice.  Used instead of the word Seriously?  Often used in exasperation.  Like, after I've had to make the 17th trip in one day to the grocery store because I have returned home to find that I have once again missed purchasing a critical ingredient to tonights dinner.

Phrase number 7: Princess, this is not your castle.  Said when someone is being unreasonably demanding.  Often said to teenagers in my house, who for some reason or another, forget exactly who owns this castle. Also said when observing people making ridiculous demands of others.

Phrase number 8.  Fanfreakingtastic! This word can be used in two ways.  It can actually have a positive connotation, meaning that something or someone is, in actuality, fantastic.  Or it can be used in the opposite manner, stating that something or some situation is not, in all actuality, fantastic.  Are you confused yet?

We are always adding to our list of Benintendi sayings.  Here are few of my new, favorite phrases that will probably be added to the Benintendinese language.

Be a fountain and not a drain.  To be used when there is too much whining, complaining, and downright Eeyore behavior going on.  Calling people out on their ability to suck the energy and good vibes right out of the room.

If you can't say something nice, at least say it in French.  This is one of my new favorites.  I use it when the conversation is getting a little "too" mean. Since none of us can speak French in our household, it's a polite way of saying shut your mouth.

That wasn't very Versace of you.  Meaning that wasn't very classy.  'Nuff said.

Put your 2 cents on your tab and keep shopping.  Keep your opinion to yourself.

And finally, my all time, most favorite new phrase is: Honey bunches of no… which is an emphatic no.  A way to emphasis the word NO without using a curse word.  It means that this no is NEVER, EVER, EVER  going to turn into a yes.  Like NEVER.  So stop asking. Now.

So there you have it.  A quick course on speaking the Benintendinese language. The cliff notes, so to speak.  I know that this was a total "fluff" blog, but it was time for one.  I can't be all serious all the time.  UGH….  And besides, I'm not afraid to sometimes just let my freak flag fly ;)

Have a good weekend!  I'll leave you with a few photos of Keagan enjoying some Gelato!

When in Rome at the Trevi Fountain, everyone should stop and have some Gelato.

What does a hungry teenager eat after climbing to the top of the Tower of Pisa?   Gelato, of course!