There's a fine line between being passionate and being pushy

Have you ever found yourself making the statement, "What is wrong with people?"  Boy I have.  In fact, I was asking that question out loud after a recent conversation with a person I have known for a long time.  And, to be honest, when I left the conversation I was straight up annoyed, angry, disappointed, saddened, and shocked.  To say that it was an intensely passionate (not in a good way) conversation would be an understatement.  And I have to stop here and acknowledge something about myself.  I can handle a lot of stuff fairly calmly, but my personal achilles heel is my family.  Nothing brings out the Momma Bear, Xena Warrior Princess side of me more. I am passionately, fiercely,  and unwaveringly protective of my family.  I admit that I have a hard time being balanced when I am in that mode.  Which serves to remind me that I am still a work in progress.  Needless to say I felt that this persons sharing of his passion for a product became inappropriate pushiness, and I was done.

There is a difference between being passionate about something and being pushy. I have a strong dislike of pushiness. And yet,  I let my own passion turn into the pushiness that I so disliked in this other person.  Oh…. ouch!  You have no idea how hard it is for me, even sitting here typing this blog, not to continue to argue my case as to why I was right and he was so, so wrong.  I'm not saying that I was wrong in stepping in and saying something.  But, I can honestly say that I was so enveloped in my own passionate belief that I found myself thinking some very unkind things about this person.  Thank God I have at least learned to just think those things and not say them.  When I was younger, I probably would have said them-- and regretted it.  But, I hate that I even had those thoughts at all.  That I let myself lose sight, briefly, of the fact that this is another human being, whom I love, and who deserves to be treated as such.  So, I am refusing to let these negative feelings and thoughts  about this person fester in my mind anymore.  I am choosing to continue fostering the feelings of love I have for this person.  Regardless of how he may or may not feel about me.  That's one of the lessons I am still learning.

Which brings me to my point of there's a fine line between being passionate and being pushy.  I am grateful that we all have things that we are passionate about!  Passion is a good thing, most of the time.  But, if we are not careful, we can let passion turn into pushiness.  You can be passionate about an idea or subject or product and yet still allow room for the other person to choose not be passionate about that idea, subject, or product.  Passion shouldn't allow you to treat or talk to someone in a demeaning way.  Passion shouldn't force an idea, thought or product on a person.  And, passion should allow and acknowledge the other persons right to freedom of choice-- to make a choice that is different from the one you want them to make, without there being hard feelings.  Pushiness is when you do not allow for the other persons right to make a different choice.  Pushiness demeans and disrespects the other person.  Pushiness demands compliance or else.  Pushiness does not respect the feelings, thoughts and ideas of another person.  Pushiness forces love out of the way.  Pushiness passes judgement upon the other person for their choice. Pushiness doesn't take no for an answer. Pushiness causes rifts in the relationship. Pushiness makes people want to run away from you and your passion, instead of drawing them in.

So, you may be asking, how can I be passionate without being pushy?  I believe that love is the answer. Passion needs to be combined with love in order to be effective.  Love tempers passion, placing value on the relationship above the value of the idea, thought, or product.

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."  1 Corinthians 13:4-7

So, my challenge to myself and to you is to be passionate about things, but temper it with love.  And that's a life lesson I am still learning.

With that said, I will leave you with a photo of my cat, who is sometimes a little pushy in his demands for attention.  But I still love him all the same ;)