Clueless in 2014....

Have you ever had moments when you felt like you didn't have a clue?  That your brains cells weren't quite working all together.  A period where you didn't have an answer to the question.  I'll be honest with you, it happens to me all the time!  And, as a parent of teenager, that clueless feeling is often multiplied ten fold.  My teenager reminds me of my cluelessness.  He sometimes even points it out (which goes over oh-so-well with me).  Parenting is hard.  And I sooo want to do this the right way!  In my heart of hearts I want to be the perfect parent (sounds like a bad Saturday Night Live skit doesn't it?).

Lord knows there's enough information out there on how to parent.  There are books, articles, blogs, documentary films, and you can google it.  There should be no logical reason for me to make a parenting mistake.  The thing that throws a kink into this perfect parenting plan is the fact that we are all human.  Our humanity is what keeps us from being "perfect."

I'm not here to write another blog on how to parent.  No, this blog is to just encourage you as a parent.  First of all, let me take off that heavy weight of being the "perfect" parent.  Of always saying the right thing, making the right decisions, the pressure of growing a perfect child.  News Flash-- you will not be perfect all the time and neither will your child.  I'm not saying this so that you can use it as an excuse, but rather to remind you to give yourself a little grace.

Sometimes as a parent we ask for advice from others.  That's not a bad thing, because I have learned a  lot from other parents.  But sometimes, I think instead of asking for advice, we should ask for some encouragement.  You do not even have to go into all the details of what you are facing.  Just find a trusted friend and simply say, "Hey, I'm struggling as a parent right now.  I'm not asking for advice, but I am asking for you to encourage me."

So, if you are in need of encouragement today, this next paragraph is for you.  You are not alone in this parenting thing.  You are not the only one who doesn't have all the answers.  We are all there with you!  Remember that you are doing your best to be a good parent.  It's not supposed to always be easy or fun, and that's okay.  The not so fun times will be balanced out with the fun times.  Remember, that no matter what your child is saying currently, they do still love you.  It's healthy for your child to know and understand that no one is perfect.  Remember that no matter what your child says, they still hear you (even if it feels like they don't).  It's ok to take a time out for yourself.  You do not have to listen to or follow all the advice that others give you.  What works for someone else's child may not work for yours.  BREATHE.  Your kids are going to make mistakes, despite your best efforts to prevent that from happening.  It doesn't necessarily mean that you are a bad parent.  Your whole life doesn't need to revolve around your child every second of every minute of every day.  There is more to you than just being a parent.  And finally-- don't give up!

So my challenge to you and to myself is to try and give out less advice and give more support to our parenting friends.  I am completely imperfect and that is ok.  I'm trying my best to be a good parent, not a perfect one.