"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."
'If you want to find happiness, find gratitude."
I believe that what causes a lot, if not most, of our misery in life is a lack of gratitude. Gratitude is a key ingredient in the recipe for a happy life. Have you ever known someone who seems to be perpetually unhappy? Nothing positive ever comes out of their mouth. It's all doom, gloom, and despair. They walk around with a massive chip on their shoulder, always assuming that life and everyone else is out to get them. To them, the world lacks color, everything is seen in shades of depressing grey and angry black. They are miserable, and they are quite content to spread and share their misery with all those around them.
You may even be one of those people. Life is lacking anything good. There's no fun for you. You may even be shouting at me right now saying, "It's easy for you to talk about gratitude. You have a great life! You don't know what I have gone through, am going through!" And you are right, but you are also wrong. And I am going to challenge you today, to find gratitude.
You see, people assume that in order to have gratitude, everything has to be going well in your life. No troubles, no sorrows. To be honest, there was a time a few years back when I found myself struggling with this issue of gratitude. I'll share some of it with you now, just because I want you to understand where I was. There was a period of about 5 or 6 years when it felt like, to me, the bottom kind of fell out from my life. It was a period where I really questioned what I had believed about my life and about God. Within this period the following things happened:
My dad almost went blind from a freak flu virus that had entered his optic nerve and caused his body to attack his optic nerve.
My Dad had a major heart attack that almost killed him. The ambulance had to stop twice on the way to the hospital to restart his heart.
My husband was laid off from his job for a year. This was after I had quite my full time job when I had Keagan, to work part time for a third less money. We were struggling to make it. And we had a baby to support. And we had invested in the .com market, and it was tanking at an astonishing rate.
We had to put my dearly loved grandmother in a nursing home because age had stolen her mind.
And the final kick came when my mom was diagnosed with a terminal, non curable, rare form of cancer.
This really shook me. I mean, my family had done everything "right." My dad had served as a minister for 30 years. He was serving as the Bishop of our conference, providing leadership to pastors throughout the Rockies. He had spend his entire life serving others.
My mom had worked many long hours to help support our family (because we all know a pastors salary alone doesn't cut it in today's world). On top of working a demanding full time job, my mom played the piano in church every Sunday-- she had helped to lead the Women's Ministry programs, the children's programs, etc... She cooked at our youth camps every summer. Her early childhood was one that would make a lot of people bitter and angry-- all the things she wasn't. She too, had dedicated her life to serving others.
Jeff and I were both fully involved in our church and in service. Jeff was a leader of the Royal Ranger program, a Board member, a member of the worship team, a leader of a small group, and because he was attached to my family, a person who got roped into everything I did from cleaning toilets at the church to mowing the lawns. I was leading the worship team, the Sunday morning children's program, on the Women's Ministry Board, leading a small group, and anything else that was needed. I also managed to be the PTA president at my sons school. I worked part time for my dad at the conference level. We were trying to make sure our lives were dedicated to the service of others.
My grandmother had been a minister most of her life. She was the one who took us hiking when we were young. We were free to act like kids at her house. She was an encourager to all. Hers was a life of service.
"You can stay angry at life for not giving you what you want, or you can feel blessed for being given all that you need."
"Imagine all the wondrous things your arms might embrace if they weren't wrapped so tightly around your struggles."
"Anger won't make your problems easier. Fears won't bring back what is gone. But a smile and gratitude will make you stronger."
"Gratitude begins when my sense of entitlement ends."
I went through some times of being angry at God. If anyone should be exempt from these particular hardships it should be my family, right? Weren't we at least entitled to health? And I really became incensed when a few people insinuated that this must be a punishment or somehow deserved. In fact, I felt like maybe a few rejoiced in the suffering of some of my family. It angered me and broke my heart all at the same time. It was hard for me to reconcile this belief in God's love with the circumstances that were taking place.
My breakthrough came at a weird time, in a weird place. I've told this story before, so I'm sorry for anyone who has already heard it, just bear with me. One day, while walking out of Keagan's school I met a mother who walked out to the parking lot with me. We were talking, and all of the sudden, she began to share with me all of the horrible, heart breaking things that had happened and were continuing to happen in her life. And then she asked me a question that changed me forever. She said, "So where is God? Why is he letting all of these things happen to me?" I stood there stunned. And ashamed, because her circumstances were way worse than mine. And my heart was bleeding for her, because I didn't have an answer. Then, it was like this gift was dropped into my heart and I said, "I don't know why these things are happening to you. But I do know that God sees you, God hears you, and God loves you." I never saw her again, and I often think and pray for her. I hope that those words comforted her. But I do know that those words were meant for me as well. Because it was what I had been needing to hear myself.
"A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you."
"Instead of focusing on what has not gone well in my life, I am grateful for the choice to focus on what has gone well. I am grateful that every day is a fresh start. I am grateful for yet another chance to improve on yesterday. I am grateful because I choose to be."
"Gratitude is our ability to see the grace of God, morning by morning, no matter what else greets us in the course of the day."
"Gratitude doesn't change the scenery. It merely washes clean the glass you look through so you can clearly see the colors."
"Reflect upon your blessings of which everyone has many, not on your misfortunes of which all have some."
You see, I was looking at my circumstances wrong. I was looking through the tainted glasses of disappointment, anger, and entitlement. I felt like I had somehow lost God, or really, that somehow God had lost sight of me. I felt like I no longer had blessings happening in my life, that they had been sucked away. And you know what? I was so wrong. I was so focused on looking at the bad, that I lost track of the signs in my life that God was still lavishing love on me. When I truly began to look at my life through the lenses of God's love, what I saw overwhelmed me with gratefulness. I was blessed indeed!
"Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what you want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where you notice the little things and where you constantly look for the good, even in unpleasant situations. Start bringing gratitude to your experiences, instead of waiting for a positive experience in order to feel grateful."
"The smile on my face doesn't mean my life is perfect. It means I appreciate what I have and what God has blessed me with."
Changing the way I saw things didn't change all the circumstances, it just changed the way I viewed them. My grandmother had a peaceful passing and will now enjoy a restored mind and body. My dad has healed and we have had many amazing opportunities to make memories of a lifetime with him. God has blessed Jeff with a job that has returned ten fold what was lost. My mother's battle with cancer is still happening, but we have been blessed to have had more years with her. Many of the families we met while mom was going through treatments would be so grateful to have had added years to spend with their loved ones.
"When times get tough the key is not to stay strong... the key is to stay grateful."
So, if you are feeling like life has run you over and left you lying on the road, broken and bleeding, and your goal is to just to make it to the end. Or if you find yourself a slave to anger or bitterness. Or if you just feel like God has lost sight of you. I challenge you to begin to look for the blessings in your life, for I guarantee you they are there. It takes practice and focus, but you can find blessings. And once you open your eyes to see the smallest blessings in your life, it will change you. You will begin to see more and more to be grateful for. Hone that skill-- it's a key to happiness.
"Gratitude wakes me, sustains me, and puts me to bed at night. It is the water in which I swim."
"Gratitude is a fabulous life sweetener."
"There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it. Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts."
Life is still life. And sometimes it's hard. But I am choosing to have an attitude of gratitude! When I am feeling ungrateful, all I have to do is look out at the amazing world around me, look at my family, look at my friends, and remember all that God has already done for me. Practice gratitude, it changes everything!
So, today, I'm going to leave this long post with a few photos that inspire me to be grateful for this amazing life and this amazing world.
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