So, what brought me to this word and it's definition? I overheard someone saying that they, "Hate Church." And, a little bit of me responded to that statement-- a part of me felt a kinship with that statement. Now, before anyone gets all bent out of shape, this is not a bash the church kind of blog. If you are looking for that, go google it. You'll find a lot of information there. I did. Yup, I actually googled the term "I hate church" just to see what popped up (and for the record, I felt like a betrayer, or some sort of spiritual criminal the whole time). Let's just say that there is a lot of bitterness out there (not all of it undeserved) towards the "church." Ummmmm…. wow, just wow.
One of the things that caught my eye was an about.com survey with the question "Why don't you go to church? " There were over 400 replies. They had a survey of the question "Why do you go to church?" There were 49 replies. Hmmmmm. I looked even deeper (as deep as you can get on the internet) and here are a few quotes I found that made me think:
"While I never had a problem with what I interpreted to be the Bible's general message of 'be nice to people,' church seemed nothing more than empty ritual punctuated with emotional hype and pop psychology. Christianity failed to make any real and positive differences in my life."
"I saw nothing particularly attractive in them (Christians), nor anything so undesirable in me as to stir up any desire to change or question my beliefs."
"I don't go to church because I have a humiliating past and every time I go everyone knows my biggest humiliation. And I am ashamed."
"Every time I walk into church I feel insecure, like a person walking through an alley waiting to be mugged."
I don't know about you, but those statements above break my heart, and I believe they break God's as well. Shouldn't church be the "safe" place to be? Shouldn't it be the one place where we can be real?
I was then lead to a blog entry by Andrew Alleyne entitled, "I Hate Church." And as I began to read it, I was once again struck, and heartbroken, and repentant. Here are a couple of quotes:
"I began to understand why an entire generation can feel more loved and welcomed in a club than in a church. We preach revival, we talk about harvest, but how many Christians are really stepping into the dark places of our city and shining their lights? Are churches really ready for the day the prostitute walks into our church after she just finished her night shift? Or when the back of the church smells like weed because broken people are coming through the doors?"
"It's as though church has become about good meetings, and good music, and unless you look like, talk like, and act like me, then we cannot walk together, be seen together, or hang out. We've created this movement, this culture that is so anti the very world we are called to reach. We've stepped out of society, and we're afraid to come close to darkness. Jesus wash't afraid to touch that which was unclean, sit with sinners, or be their friend."
And I will be honest here, I have sometimes felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole as a church goer. I have had times where I have felt like I can't be the "real" me or that I can't show my weaknesses or flaws because of fear of rejection or judgement. So, I understand people's negative reactions to the church. I really do get it. I have even felt that way myself. I also understand why so many people are leaving the church these days.
But I am not here to bash the church. (Quick sidebar, the church is made up of forgiven sinners who are flawed people-- and we wonder why the church sometimes screws up?) Instead, I am here to talk about what I believe I need to do in order to fulfill the single most important job I have-- which is to show the love of God to those around me. My job is to show those around me what a relationship with God should look like, to model how the church should be.
I think what people are really looking for these days is authenticity. Realness. I believe that the reason people were drawn to Jesus was because he wasn't afraid to be real with people, he wasn't afraid to meet them where they were (even if the religious leaders rebuked him for going to places that they deemed "unclean, unholy, and un-Godly").
So, my first action is to be real with people. To let myself to be flawed. To forget about being impressive and commit to being real. To acknowledge that I am an imperfect person loved by a perfect God. When you are authentic, you create the space for others to be the same. And this is harder to do than it seems. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. People can relate to humanness. I am so flawed, so imperfect, that I can't even begin to relate to someone who only shows me their perfection. If you've read any part of my blog, my imperfection should be glaringly obvious.
I also believe that people are looking for authentic love. A love that sees God's value in a person, not the value that the world, or the "church", or even you yourself, has placed on them.
"Love is not "if" or "because." Love is "anyway" and "even though" and "in spite of."
"You are loved beyond measure. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken."
"People want to experience a God who will love and accept them. And if they do not see God's love reflected in the church they will view God as unloving."
Let me tell you, these phrases are easy to say. And sometimes, they are easy to enact. It is easy to show love for a child who has been harmed by something out of their control (i.e. famine). But what about the young teenager who chose to have an abortion? Oh, lets get even more personal here. What if your teenager wanted to be a friend to that young lady? Would you be willing to step into that relationship a little and befriend that girl also? Would you invite that girl to come to your church and sit with your family? Or would you strongly discourage that relationship? Or even outright forbid it? That's a hard question to answer.
What about the person with the humiliating past? The past that everyone knows about. The past that may cause others to judge you if you choose to show love to that person. Would you invite that person over for dinner? Would you invite her to come to church and sit with you? And if you did, would you feel uncomfortable?
We get so busy telling everyone to be careful who they hang around with because they might influence us, that we forget that we might just influence them. And, just who do you think Jesus hung out with anyway? I can tell you he didn't spend the majority of his time with the religious leaders of the day. Just saying. I can't pick and choose who I show God's love to, as much as I might want to. I can't shelter myself from those who are hurting. That's a fearful reaction, not a loving one. I can't preach God's love, but go about my life not showing love, and expect people to want to follow the God I loudly proclaim.
And finally, people want to experience real, authentic worship and churches. What does that have to do with me, as an individual? Well, the church is made up of God followers (that's me). They are seeking more than just an emotional experience.
"They can tell when we are trying to get them to react emotionally. We can play soft music and ask them to raise their hands or kneel, but if they don't feel like it is a genuine expression of the reality of our faith, they will eventually reject it."
So, my part is to worship God authentically. Not just for show. And not just on Sunday mornings at church. My goal is not to illicit just an emotional response to God, but to also encourage a long term, long lasting, relationship with God. They are looking for a real, genuine, life changing faith that is lived out every day. It's my job to show them that this can be accomplished, even though I am flawed, even though I screw up, even though I often fail, even though I sometimes get tired, even though life is sometimes hard, and even when life is good.
"It's about building bridges with those who won't come to church on Sunday, not as a project, but because Jesus loves them and told us to." Jen Hatmaker
My end goal is not to get people to come to my church. It's not ( and I know that will bother some people). My goal is to show broken, hurting, people that not only are they worthy of great love, but that they are greatly loved. Right where they are. Just as they are. It isn't my job to change them. It isn't my job to shame them. It isn't my job to judge them. My job is to love them.
I know that love is a subject that I speak on often. And I do not want you to get the wrong idea about me. I don't always manage to do the perfect loving thing every time. I fail a lot. I am flawed. But I feel like we, as Christ followers, have missed the boat sometimes. I feel like we spend a lot of time, energy, effort, and money defending "beliefs" but very little time showing love to those who need it. Often, the people we are "arguing" with are those who are most in need of someone to step up and show them God's love. We get so busy being right, that we forget that we are all deeply flawed and in desperate need of a savior.
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this; While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8
I'll leave you with a statue that was outside the Notre Dame de la Garde basilica we visited in Marseille, France.
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