Listen: A Lesson from a 12 Year Old....

"The first duty of love is to listen."  Paul Tillich

It sure seems like there is a lot of anger out there in the world today.  I mean, A LOT.  And I find myself unsure what to do about it.  Half the time I don't even relate to it.  I feel a bit dazed and confused, and frankly, completely turned off by it all.  As I was sitting at my desk drinking my coffee and thinking deep thoughts (you can roll your eyes, I just did at myself), I remembered an event that took place in my car around 9 years ago.

It had been a normal day, as I remember it.   I had waited at the bus stop to pick Keagan up from elementary school, said hi to my neighbors who were waiting with me.. normal stuff.  Then the bus came and Keagan climbed into the car.  I think it was raining, so I had offered to give another little boy from Keagan's bus a ride to his house and he accepted.  This young man was around 12 at the time.  Older than Keagan, but still a kid that Keagan hung with from time to time.  Anyway, as Keagan climbs into the car I can see he is upset.  Beyond upset.  He is steaming.  So I ask him how his day was and he began to tell me what was bothering him.  It seems another little boy on the bus had been making a comment to Keagan, about Keagan, that was untrue.  And Keagan didn't like it.  This other boy was also a sometimes friend of Keagan. Now, I don't remember the statement that this other boy had made, but it was some inane comment that was so blatantly untrue like "Your cat is purple," that I immediately dismissed the comment as anything of importance.  I mean come on, cats aren't purple.  And even if our cat was purple,  who cares?????  It is stupid thing to be upset over... in my mind anyway.  As I begin to express my feelings to Keagan, he is getting more and more upset,  and I am getting more and more baffled as to why this one comment has ruined the day.

And that's when the 12 year old boy in the backseat piped up and taught me a lesson about listening.  This twelve year old boy looked my son in the eye and said, "It's no fun to feel like you are being treated meanly.  I am sorry.  I will talk to the boy and ask him to stop."  The most simple, and yet healing words ever spoken in my car.  And I wanted to hug him and weep at the same time.

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say." Bryant McGill

"People start to heal the moment they feel heard."  Paul Tillich

You see, my mistake was that while I was listening to the words, I wasn't really hearing the story behind the words.  The real story Keagan was saying was this.... "We just moved here, to this new state where I don't know anyone and I'm trying desperately to fit in.  I'm off kilter, and I'm trying to find my niche.  I'm unsure about myself.  I don't feel like I belong.  And I sure don't want to be perceived as different in any way, especially when it comes to the color of my cat.  Because right now, when I'm trying so desperately to fit in, different is bad.  And I'm already different enough.  I grew up differently.  I speak differently. And I deeply miss my home, where I was known and loved and accepted by people like me."

And so, after dropping off Keagan's friend, we went home.  And I apologized to my son for not truly hearing him.  And I gave him big hugs.  And I didn't try to fix it. I just tried to sit there and listen to what he was really saying, with my heart breaking for him, and to let him know that he wasn't as alone as he felt.  That he was deeply loved and valued, and mostly that he was heard.

"Be willing to listen to others and be teachable.  You're not right about everything.... nobody is."


And as I look back on that story, and now look ahead to what is happening in our country, I realize that I once again need to learn this lesson.  I need to hone my listening skills.  I need to look past just the words and really, deeply, hear what people are saying.  I need to hear the pain behind the words.  I need to understand the story there.  I need to be quiet in order to listen.  I need to be willing to apologize when I am wrong.  I need to courageously be willing to sit beside people in their hurt.  And yes, I used the word courage.  It takes courage to sit in the painful stuff.  It's easy to sit in the joyful. Sorrow, anger, hurt, pain...it's not easy to sit with those feelings.  Especially when you don't understand where they are coming from.

So, my prayer is that God will give me a heart that is willing to really hear those around me.  And that he will give me the courage and wisdom to sit with them.  That's my prayer for this whole country, for this whole world.

I'll leave you with a few photo's of some Hippos from our trip to Africa.  Hippos are not to be messed with.  They kill more people in Africa than any other wild animal.  But, they are amazing.  While we were in Botswana, the hippos would come out of the water at night and feed all around our tent.  They make these really cool, kind of soft grunting noises while doing so.  And that is the noise which put me to sleep at night while there.  I loved hearing them.  Sometimes... while in that twilight space between awake and asleep at night, I can still hear them softly grunting, foraging for grasses.

This baby got tired of holding herself up, so she just rested on mom.... awwwww.....

Pick A Lane...

Long time, no post.  I know.  I recently had several people ask me why I haven't been blogging for the past year.  And the answer, like life, is a bit complicated.  Last year I found out I needed (and had) a life-saving surgery (Thank you Dr. Norman).  My son entered his senior year of high school.  My husbands job, which has always included some travel, upped his travel schedule.  All those reasons contributed to the not blogging issue.  But, I guess if I'm honest, I just didn't feel like I had anything more to add.  There are some amazing people out there who were saying all the things I was thinking and feeling in ways that were much more elegant than I could.  And I'm  not one to "muck up the waters" by just adding noise.  Let's face it, I will never be (nor have I claimed to be) the most articulate, smart, or eloquent speaker out there.  And I will readily admit to sometimes having what some would consider a "low-brow" sense of humor.  Case in point, while visiting a certain well-known European museum with my family this summer, my 18 year old son and I spent a little bit of time cackling, in a very loud and American type way, over the body parts that people most often touched in the "touch the art" portion of said museum.  You could tell what those parts were because on the brass statues, those parts were well polished. Like I said, refinement and dignity may not walk hand in hand with me at all times. But I felt like I had something to say this month, and I am too long winded to put in in just a regular Facebook post, so here it is..

Because my son is now in college (Go Clemson), I have put in some significant road time driving to visit him and watch the home football games.  He is in the marching band and I am loath to miss an opportunity to go and just be obnoxiously proud of him.  Back to the subject... while on these road trips we have several high hills that we pass over (I am from Colorado, I know you people call these mountains, hah).  We all know the drill while driving over these high places.... all slow traffic-- particularly semi-trucks-- should automatically shoot over to the far right lane so that all of us faster people can pass on by.  But recently, on several of these trips, I have been behind a semi-truck who has decided that they want to go faster than the trucks in the right lane, and yet considerably slower than I want to go.  And what really irritates me, is that several times they have straddled between two lanes, not committing to either one, and thus making me unsure as to what their next move will be.  These lane straddlers are not my favorite people... I admit to getting extremely annoyed at them.  Gah!!!!  PICK A LANE!!!!  And if you pick the fast lane, you better be fast.... God's still working on me and my lack of driving patience.

Now, we also had the experience of driving over in Italy this summer.  Now those people are my car driving spirit people.  They know how to pick a lane.  They pick a lane with a ferocity unknown to drivers in the U.S.  They commit to their lane full-throttle, and wholeheartedly, and sometimes with incredibly zealous fervor.  Much love to the Italians and their mad driving skills, even if you almost killed me...

Anyway, back to picking a lane.  When looking at the recent Facebook posts, watching TV, etc... it's very clear to me that people are "picking lanes" politically and otherwise.  In fact, they have a lot in common with the above described Italian method of driving.  But the problem is sometimes they are leaving people on the side of the road damaged from road rage.  And I find it hard to watch.  But, we (as a rule) don't like ambiguity either.  We don't like those people who don't seem to pick a lane, or even follow any rules of the road.  Don't these people know that there are lines on the road for a reason????

So, here I sit, feeling like I need to commit  and pick a lane.  But I want to be careful with how I pick the lane. I want to be a safe driver, not causing harm to those around me.  And I definitely don't want to be seen as a line straddler, one who won't commit to anything, and thus unclear about where I am going. And so the question becomes, what lane to pick?  And what do I do when I reach the parts of the road where the lines are worn thin and hard to see?  How do I pick a lane if I can't see the lines?

And so I'm picking my lane.  And the lane I'm choosing is labeled "LOVE."  I think God clearly told me this was the lane in which I was supposed to operate from.

"Let me give you a new command:  Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another.  This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples."  John 13:34-35 the message

In this age of murkily political, social, and ethical choices.. how do I pick my lane?  It's remarkably simple, and yet extremely hard to consistently carry out.  To pick the lane of love.  How do I do this lane?  It involves some hard to see lines.  It's sometimes the slowest lane out there.

I find these words "the same way I loved you"  to be the interesting parts of the sentence.  So, how did Jesus show his love to others.  Well, He showed love to  some interesting people.  You all realized how crazy John the Baptist probably looked to people right?  I mean, he ate weird stuff.  He was pretty radical in his clothing choices.  He was an interesting character.  And yet he was the one chosen to baptize Jesus.   Let's talk Zacchaeus.  He was wealthy.  He was working in conjunction with a government that was cruelly oppressing his own people (i.e. aligned with the wrong political party).  He was considered corrupt.  He was small in stature (i.e. not considered to be an attractive trait in those times) He was unlikable.  And yet, he was chosen to receive love by Jesus.  The woman at the well.  She was a Samaritan  (i.e. an immigrant from an unfriendly country).  Her belief system was considered heathen and unclean.  She was an adulteress. She slept around with many different men. And, she was a woman.  And Jesus chose her as worthy of his love.  Jesus chose to love the people around him,  regardless of their political offiliation, belief system, ethnicity, career, health, wealth, age, or sex.  He chose the lane of love.

And that's the lane I choose.  I am not going to choose a side publicly in this political season. Make no mistake, I will vote, and part of voting requires that I pick one.  I do not take this lightly. It is a great privilege that has been given to me on the backs of many others who have fought for my freedom.  I will examine the candidates closely from the presidential selection all the way down to my state politicians.  But I will not make this my lane.  My lane is to love those around me, and if I try to straddle the lane of love and a public strong political opinion I'm afraid people will be confused about which lane I'm in.  And I want everything in my life to point people toward God's love for them.  Pointing people towards one political candidate does not point them towards God and his great love.  It just makes my message unclear, and murky, and it creates unnecessary noise and distraction.

You will notice that because I pick the lane of love, I will not pick some of the other lanes that you might think I should be picking.  I'm ok with that.  I accept that I am at my base a simple person.  I am unable to straddle lanes and keep my message clear.  So, I chose the lane of love over all others.   My goal is to see the people around me and treat them with love, regardless of where they are, who they are, or what they are doing.  Sometimes, this is easy for me.  There are those who are just easy for me to love.  Sometimes this is harder.  And I have to use all of my concentration on staying in the lane of love while around them.

And here's the truth about this lane I choose called love.  This lane isn't about me.  This lane isn't built by me.  It's about God.  He built this lane, this path, for me to follow.  And if you have stuck with this long post and find yourself at the end, please leave with this knowledge:  You are greatly, deeply, wonderfully loved.  God loves you.  If you are struggling to pick a lane, pick this one.  The lane of love.  Follow it... see where it leads.  See for yourself what love can do in your life and the lives of others.  It's not always an easy lane, but it leads to a wonderful destination!

And some of you will have skipped down to this part where I post some of my photo's.  That's ok.  I love you (and relate to you).  I will end this with a few of my favorite photo's of some lanes I have traveled on since I last posted.  Have a great day!

Versailles

Yellowstone

Paris- outside Notre Dame

Certaldo, Tuscany

Tuscany

Certaldo, Tuscany

San Gimignano, Tuscany

Venice

Moremi, Botswana

Okavango Delta, Botswana

Sabi Sands, South Africa

Sabi sands, South Africa

Sabi Sands, South Africa

Sabi Sands, South Africa

Tswalu, South Africa

Tswalu, South Africa

Tswalu, South Africa

Tswalu,  South Africa

Tswalu, South Africa

Tswalu, South Africa

Florence, Italy

Lucca, Italy

San Gimignano, Italy

Venice

What are you doing about it?

"Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining."  Teddy Roosevelt

I remember a conversation I was having when I was in my early 20's (and knew everything) with an older woman about all the "social ills" taking place .  You know, discussions of poverty, education, violence... etc...   As I was talking about (really complaining about) these issues this kind, patient, compassionate woman asked me a question that stopped my in my tracks.  She said, "Wow, those are a lot of problems to worry about.  But let me ask you this, what are you doing about it?  Are you just complaining about these issues while waiting for someone else to take care of the problem, or are you actively seeking to be part of the solution?"  (You can insert the sound of a semi truck coming to a screeching halt here).

As the political scene begins to heat up in the face of the upcoming presidential election, it seems that the level of complaint ratchets up as well.  Now listen, I'm not saying that we shouldn't hold our government officials accountable for finding solutions to our problems.  However, why are we waiting for our government to fix things?  Last I checked, this country belonged to all of us, not just those in office.  So if we own this country, don't we then, by default, own some of the accountability for coming up with solutions also?  We as individuals need to step up and come up with solutions on our own.   We need to grab ownership of not only pointing out the problems, but also take on the responsibility to find and implement solutions.

"Whatever the problem, be part of the solution.  Don't just stand around raising questions and pointing out obstacles."  Tina Fey

"I alone can't change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples."  Mother Teresa

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one."  Mother Teresa

"Do small things with great love."  Mother Teresa

Finding ways to "help" often means being humble.  I think we often want to somehow implement a big "grand" solution.  We are not interested in the small stuff.  In fact, we often do not see the value in the small.  I for one, know that there are people out there like Bill Gates, who have the money and influence to do great things on a big scale.  I am not at that level.  But, I can do something on a smaller scale.  My stone may be smaller than Bill Gates, but my ripples in the water can, and will have an effect.  It's a cop-out to say that I can't do anything because I have less than someone else to give.  I don't think God expects you to give beyond what you have, but he does expect you to give what you can.  Does that make sense?

When tackling the issues around you, you need to let go of this notion that because someone has more than you, they should be the one to shoulder all the burden.  It is not your job to point this out to them.  God is not going to hold you responsible for what someone else does.  He will, however, hold you responsible for what you do.

Can you imagine the change that could take place in this world if we all just did our part?  If we simply set aside all of the thoughts about what we can't do, and instead focused on what we can do?  You see, what we are all  to share love.  And love is an action word, not a descriptive word.  True love requires action.

"Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions."  Tony Robbins

Let's shift our thinking.  Instead of complaining, lets figure out what small thing we can do to help solve the problem.  Let's turn our nation into a nation of doers instead of complainers.  Let's learn the value of small loving actions.  Quit waiting for someone else to come sweeping in with a big solution. Quit pointing out what other people are not doing and instead focus on what you are doing.

Yes, there are a lot of social wrongs and ills in the world today.  Things like poverty, hunger, illiteracy, violence,  etc..  So I ask you today,  What are you doing about it?

I'll leave you with this quote from JFK engraved in stone at Arlington National Cemetery.

Act Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly

Have you ever wondered what God wants you to do exactly?  Why you are here?  What are the "right" things to do?  What the rules are?

The answers can seem overwhelming.  Especially if you go around asking people for their opinions on the matter.  I'm sure the compiled list would be quite long.  And I think it's the thought of that long, long list of things to do that turns many people off. Or, the list might be small, but impossible to complete.  This small list could contain words like perfection.  That's intimidating.  There is no way for anyone to be completely perfect.  It's unattainable.  And that's just depressing.

I need a simple, yet attainable list.  Yet, I don't want my list to be shallow, or lacking depth.  Nor do I want it to be so mired in theology that I don't even understand what it means, let alone figure out how to accomplish anything.  For me, Micah 6:8 answers the question in a way that I can understand it, yet with a depth to it that I feel like I'm not setting a shallow or easy goal.

It says this:

"And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."  NIV

"What is God looking for in men and women?  It's quite simple:  Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don't take yourself too seriously-- take God seriously."  the Message

So what does it mean, to act justly?  It means to to do what is morally right, to be honest, to have integrity.  I think that this a concept that appeals to a lot of people.  We, as a society, do not like it when we perceive that something is not fair.  This seems, on the surface at least, to be an easy and simple task.

And yet, sometimes we find ourselves tempted to use justice to justify doing something that may not be quite fair.  An example of this can be drawn from a sports event.  When we feel that a member of the team we are not rooting for does something that might be considered cheating, like grabbing a face mask, we stand up loudly and are quick to point it out.  However, if it is one of our team members doing the grabbing, we are usually quiet.  And if our team member gets away with it, don't we sometimes silently cheer the fact that they didn't get caught?  Or sometimes we make excuses, like, their team has been doing it the whole game, or it wouldn't have made a difference on the outcome.  In other words, the ends justify the means.  It can be a slippery slope, this act justly thing.  I mean, who cares if we cheated a little on our taxes if we need the money and all the "rich" people are doing it too.  So what if we get a little more change back than we should when paying for an item, the store/company/whatever makes a lot of money, one dime won't matter. I think you can see where this is going.  The problem is that if people do not feel like you are trustworthy or honest, or fair in the little things, how can you be trusted with the big things?  Trust lost is hard to gain back. One compromise in integrity makes the next compromise easier.

And now we get to the love mercy part.  I think we are all drawn to mercy.  We are aware of our need for it in our lives.  But, we tend to love mercy when it comes to ourselves, and yet we are stingy with it when it comes to anyone else.  Compassionate love is often easy to give to a child, or to someone who has had a tragic situation happen.  But we want to have levels of mercy and love.  We want to say that some people deserve it more.  It's harder to have compassion on someone who has hurt us.  It's hard to believe that a criminal could and should receive mercy from God.

I'll admit that this is my area of greatest struggle.  Intellectually I know that God loves EVERYONE.  I know that God can and does show love and mercy and forgiveness to everyone.  But, I'll be honest, there are some people that I have a hard time showing that compassion and love to.  I'm still working on this one.

"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."  Proverbs 13:10

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."  Philippians 2:3-4 NIV

"Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends.  Don't push your way to the front;  don't sweet talk your way to the top.  Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.  Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage.  Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."  Philippians 2:3-4 the Message

And then we get to the walk humbly portion of the list.  Humility is hard. It's hard because it requires us to take a back seat.  It is hard because it requires us to acknowledge that we have weaknesses.  Humility requires us to live with vulnerability.  Humility requires us to acknowledge that we don't know everything.  Humility requires us to ask others for help.  Humility requires us to be honest about ourselves.  Humility puts others first.  Humility requires us to acknowledge that God is in control, not us.

Each of these points on the list are, in and of themselves, good.  But it is the combination of the three, act justly, love mercy, walk humbly, that God is looking for.  Justice needs love to balance it out.  Love needs justice to ensure that integrity is maintained.  And humility is the glue that keeps us from becoming rigid, intolerant, and arrogant.

That's my list.  Simple, yet complex.  I am striving to accomplish the tasks that God has set before me, using this simple list to help ensure that I complete what I should in a way that is pleasing to God.  I am not on this planet to simply suck up air and return nothing.  Even if what I do seems insignificant to others, I know that I will have played a part in making this place better.

I'll leave you with a quote:

"I long to accomplish great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty and joy to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble."  Helen Keller

The Truth About Leadership

I haven't blogged in while.  Truth is,  we've been busy.  And, I haven't really felt a pressing need to "say" anything.  I'm not one to just fill space just because I can, so I haven't.  Part of our recent busyness can be attributed to the great "College Prep & Hunt" that we are currently involved in with our son, who is ending his Junior year in High School.  For those of you who have younger children, let me tell you that this college process is far different than the process my husband and I went through.  Needless to say, it's a little baffling, exciting, and a complete and utter time-sucking experience.

Which brings me to the topic at hand.  We have been participating in an unholy number of "University Campus Tours" as of late and I began to notice a theme in all the endless propaganda of why said son should pick this school and why we, as parents, should pay for it.  Almost all the Universities we have visited mention some form of "leadership" program.  I'm talking above and beyond the usual student government opportunities.  It seems to me that this (along with service programs) has become the new, "it"  program throughout the nation.  And, I think these leadership programs are a good idea, in general.

We visited High Point University last week and they have probably one of the most comprehensive "leadership" programs I have ever seen.  Now, they don't necessarily call it by that name, but a rose by any other name is still a rose.  The University is led by their very charismatic president, Dr. Nido Qubein, who believes strongly in building character alongside  of knowledge. He believes in this concept so much that all Freshman are required to take series of courses with Dr. Quebein entitled the "Presidents Seminar of Life Skills," where students will be taught the fundamentals of leadership, the art of goal setting, time management skills, effective communication skills, fundamentals of fiscal literacy, the principles of stewardship, and etiquette and protocol.  Each incoming freshman is assigned   a Freshman Success Coach who helps them with Academic Advising and serves as a Liaison between freshman and other university staff.  Freshmen are also teamed up with a student who will help them find and participate in activities that interest them.  The culmination of this program is the "Presidents's Seminar for Seniors", which focuses on how to transition into the corporate world.  It is truly one the most extraordinary programs I've ever witnessed.

Which made me think about Leadership, and what people know and don't know about it.  And believe me, I'm not an expert on leadership, but there are a few things that I have learned over the years.  These are a few key elements about leadership that I wish to pass down to my son.

1. A title doesn't make you a leader.  A person with a "leadership" title isn't a leader unless people are    willing to follow him/her.  To be a true leader, and an effective leader, you must have someone to lead.  If you ever find yourself with a leadership title and no followers, something is wrong, and needs to be fixed.

2. A true leader never asks his or her followers to do something that they are unwilling to do themselves.  In fact, a good leader will lead by example, being willing to pitch in and do the work alongside everyone else.

3. Respect is earned, it doesn't automatically come with a leadership title. You earn respect by showing respect to others.

4. A good leader will listen to criticism.  It doesn't mean that the leader will accept the criticism as true, or even change their approach, but a true leader should always be willing to weigh whether or not the criticism is merited and requires change.

5. All leaders are at some point the object of gossip, criticism, and hard feelings.  Being a leader means that sometimes you have to make hard, unpopular decisions.  If you cannot handle people talking about you, you may not be cut out for leadership.

6. Leadership often requires you to go above and beyond what is simply required.  I know a lot of people who want the "leadership title" and the perceived perks, but want none of the responsibility or hard work.   Here's a hard truth about being a leader.  Most leaders do not get paid overtime when they work more than the required 9-5.  My husband has a leadership title, and he is often the first one in the office and the last one to leave.  He has to travel often. He sometimes misses our child's school events, fun family activities, etc... He is technically "on call" 24/7.    He gets work related phone calls during vacations, school events, dinner, and other non-work related activities.   In fact, a couple of years ago, we were in Venice, riding in a Gondola down the Grand Canal (which is probably one of the most romantic things you can do), when he received and had to answer a work phone call.  Seriously, there we were, in the most romantic place on earth, and I'm just sitting there, listening to his conversation with one of his employees. There are many evenings when he sits down and catches up on work email in the evenings after we have had dinner.  It's part of the deal, and he loves his job, but it does require  some sacrifice.

7. It takes time, effort, and training to earn the title of leader.  My husband knew that in order for him to have the career he wanted, he needed to be trained.  He went to college, and earned his degree.  He worked several part time jobs during the school season and then worked construction jobs during the summer in order to pay for college.  He looked for people to mentor him (and still does) while working his way up.  He also looked for opportunities to gain leadership experience by volunteering to work on projects outside of and beyond the duties assigned to him in his job description. My husband has put in 26 years of hard work to earn his title.  He worked his way up.  This took some time.  He was not given his current title and position straight out of college.

8.  A good leader recognizes the need for a good team and accepts the responsibility of having employees.  A great leader recognizes and honors the responsibility that a leader has towards providing his/her employees with opportunities, training, and a quality work environment.  All great leaders recognize that leadership isn't about them, it's about others.

9. A great leader leads by example.  She/He should practice all the qualities and characteristics that she/he expects from their employees.  Things such as integrity, honesty, loyalty, and respect.

10. A truly great leader is grateful.  They are grateful for the opportunities awarded them in life, they are grateful for their employees.  They are humble and willing to admit to mistakes.  They are also willing to learn from their mistakes and do better next time.

Finally.  Not everyone is cut out for leadership.  If you are not willing to assume some of the sacrifice and hard work it takes to be in a leadership position, that's ok.  Leadership is hard.  Leadership often requires a high level of responsibility.  Your worth, value and contribution to this world is not measured on whether or not you are a leader.  But, if you do decide to take on a leadership role, do so with the full knowledge of what leadership entails, and with a willingness to accept the great responsibility that comes with leadership.

I'll leave you with a photo of my son.  I can't believe that college is already knocking on our doorstep.  But I am excited!  This is what we have worked so hard for, to launch him out into the world to become someone who contributes to the world in a positive way.  I'm very proud of him.  To quote Dr. Seuss, "Oh, the places he will go..."

Get Some Skin in the Game

My husband had an interesting flight last week.  He flew down to Charlotte on a small plane with two co-workers and the pilot, for a business meeting at the Charlotte office.  The flight down was uneventful, but the landing was not.  When landing in foggy conditions, the plane overshot the runway, skidded down the field, went off another 30 foot embankment and did what amounts to a big belly flop at the bottom.  Very scary stuff!  And Jeff (my husband) had a front row seat for all the excitement, since he was sitting up by the pilot.  Needless to say, grateful doesn't even begin to express the feeling we all have at the fact that everyone walked away relatively unharmed.

While recalling the accident, my husband said to me, "There was a moment when I looked down, and I could tell that we were too far down the runway to land on it.  I don't know why I didn't just pipe up and say something to the pilot about it.  I guess I figured that he knew what was going on and that he had it under control.  Or maybe we were landing on another runway or something."

Now, I invite you take a leap with me here and apply this to our everyday lives.  Have you ever felt like you could see the plane wreck coming, or even taking place, and yet you just stood there on the sidelines, not saying or doing anything?  My guess is that we do that all the time.  We all see situations that are going badly on a daily basis.  We may even say something like, "That's too bad"  or "I can't believe that this _____ is happening."  We may go so far as to put a name to it.

But, just having empathy or putting a name to it doesn't really change the situation.  Change requires action. And in the action part, I know that I often fail miserably.  Sometimes my inaction is caused by feeling overwhelmed by the situations I see.  Sometimes, my inaction is linked to my own sense of inadequacy.  Sometimes my lack of action is due to my lack of empathy.  And, if I am being honest, sometimes my inaction is due to my aversion to putting myself on the line for something.  Or straight up laziness on my part.  In other words, I want to complain about it, but I don't really want to be the one that does the hard work of changing the situation.  It is simply easier for me to let someone else is take care of it, believing that they have it under control.

But I'm here to tell you something.  If there is something that you believe needs to be changed, the only way to really change the situation is to "Put some skin in the game."  You can't just "call the situation out" and expect change to happen.  You have to do the hard work of putting your shoulder to the ground and pushing forward.  And the problem with that is that while you are putting your head down and gritting your teeth to push foreword, you are leaving your back vulnerable to attack.  And no one enjoys that feeling.  It is human nature to protect our back.  No one likes to feel vulnerable. To leave your skin exposed in a way that someone can come along and cause harm.

But that is exactly what it takes.  It takes opening yourself up, being vulnerable, and letting love pour out of you unheeded to bring about change.  And I think this is the scariest thing in all the world to do.  It is definitely one the hardest things to do.  It is for me, anyway.  And I'm not talking about action that is loud, or big, or extreme.  Sometimes the action is as simple as contacting people you know to start an encouraging letter campaign for the staff of a local school.  And yet, that process of simply reaching out to others to join you can feel like a position of great vulnerability.  What if they think you are weird?  What if they criticize you?  What if no one else joins in?

And yet, here is the great thing I have discovered about love.  True actions of love seem to self multiply.  By that I mean, that people sense when love is being poured out, and they are drawn to it like bees to honey.  Those moments when I have made a few, small, brave steps forward to enact small, seemingly insignificant, changes, people have responded and stepped up in BIG ways.  Yes, there have been some that have criticized the action.  There have been doubters.  But by and large, those that have stepped up in love have far outweighed and out numbered the critics.

I'm telling you that actions of love can do incredible things.  This is a God principle.  He knows that small actions of love multiply.  Why do you think that he commanded us to love one another?  Love in action can break down the biggest walls, break through the thickest of chains, and can cause changes so big that the ripple effects are seen throughout generations.

I'm not telling you to go out and tackle the biggest social issues around you, but I'm not telling you that you shouldn't either.  I am telling you to not discount the "small stuff."  The seemingly insignificant stuff.  Do small acts of love.  Find ways big and small to create positive change right where you are.  Quit complaining about the problems around you and get some skin in the game. If we all just practiced small acts of love on a daily basis, the impact we could have on our families, communities, nation, and our wold could be limitless.  It could be world changing.  It could be life changing.

I'll leave you with a photo of my handsome husband!  I am so beyond grateful that God had his hand of him last week.  He is a source of great joy and love in my life, and he probably has no idea of the ripple effects his love for others brings into this world.  I'm so excited to see what God has in store for him!

In My House, No One Goes Hungry....

Have you ever had a piece of scripture from the Bible just come up and smack you?  In a good way?  Oh man, this happened to me this week.  And it is a verse I've probably read many times, but something about reading it this time just hit me.  Here it is:

"He stood me up on a wide open field;  I stood there saved---surprised to be loved!" 
 Psalm 18:19,  the message

And that verse lead me to the old hymn, I Stand Amazed, which is featured in the video above.

It's the second half of that verse that hit me... I stood there saved-- surprised to be loved.  Take a moment and meditate on that.  Savor it.  Let it settle down into your bones.

This week I have had a couple of opportunities to hang out with some young people and have had some fairly serious talks with a few of them.  And in these talks, a theme has emerged... they are desperate to believe that they are loved by someone.  Anyone.  That they can be loved.  They are seeking love in any form that they can get it.  They want someone to tell them that they matter.  And it breaks my heart, because I know that several of them do not know that they are loved.

I don't believe that our youth are the only ones feeling this desperate need for love.  Our whole culture seems to built around this craving.  The need for endless attention = a need for love.  The need for collecting and buying material things = a need for love. I would say the even the violence we are seeing can be attributed to rage against not feeling loved.

But I know the secret-- the secret is that they are ALL desperately and greatly loved by a God who would give up His very sons life to prove that point.  And even though Jesus life story is fairly well known, for some reason, the love part of the story seems to be a deep dark secret to a lot of people.

That's why when we show people around us love through our actions, they stand there amazed and surprised.  They have bought into the lie that they are not loved.

Let me tell you today, if you are feeling unloved or unloveable... it's a LIE.  A complete and utter lie.  YOU ARE LOVED!  Let me say it again, You-- the real you, not the fake you that you present to others, the real you.  The one that has very real faults.  The you that is broken.  The you that is less than perfect.  That you.  That you is loved, and loved deeply and fully.  Just as you are.  God loves you.  He always has and He always will.

And if you know this secret, this secret of love, do your best to not keep it a secret.  You need to  share it by showing love to everyone you come into contact with. In the words of Bob Goff, you need to  "leak love."  Take a moment and remember how it felt when you finally discovered that you were loved.  In fact, it would be good for us to start each day just standing in awe in our own "wide open fields" and reflecting on the fact that we are saved and feeling yet again that heart stopping, heart mending, moment of realizing how greatly we are loved.

 I find myself wanting to just gather up these young people in my Mommy arms and hold them tight, while whispering words of the great love that God has for them.  And tell them that I love them and that they are deserving of love.  That they are seen and heard.  I can't always hug them, but I show them love through ways that teenagers understand, by talking to them, by listening to them (even when I don't understand what they are saying), and by feeding them good food.  They are welcome at my table.  They are loved in my house.  I have a saying on my wall above the door to my dining room that says, "Nella mia casa nessumo va affamato" which translates to "In my house, no one goes hungry."  It reminds me that all who come into my home will be fed good food and a steady diet of love.

That's all I have today-- a simple message.  Not even a new message.  But an important one.  One that God reminded me of this week.

I'll leave you today with a little "broader" view of Psalm 18.

"But me he caught---reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning.  They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me.  He stood me up on a wide-open field;  I stood there saved--surprised to be loved!  God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. "  Psalm 18 16-21  the message