I heard a question the other day that floored me. The question being asked was, "Why are Christians so angry all of the time?" Wow! Is that how I come across? I hope not. And as I thought about it, I began to ask is that how we, as Christians, are coming across to the world around us? And my honest answer to that questions was, "Sometimes, yes we do come across as angry." And that broke my heart.
I've witnessed too many times when people who have different view points use their belief that they are on the "right" side to justify the bloody beating down of another human being. Then they walk away, feeling justified and good about themselves, while they leave this person deeply scarred, wounded, and bleeding on the side of the road.
We allow ourselves to say the most heinous things to another because we feel that we are on the "right" or "just" side of an issue. It's too easy to get so caught up in a conflict that you start to focus on yourself and winning the argument and you forget the fact that your so called opponent is a person who is deeply loved by God, regardless of their beliefs. And I will admit that I have done this, but I take no pride in it. In fact, it makes me a little ill.
I think somewhere, somehow, in the pursuit of being on the "right" side of things we, as Christians, have somehow lost our focus. Our focus has turned from love to sin. What I mean by that is that we have started focusing on the sin of others instead of focusing on loving others. We have made sin the big picture, instead of love, grace, and mercy. By focusing on the sin we have allowed it to overshadow the one Big truth about God. God loves everyone, in spite of the sin.
And, to be honest, I'm a little sick of seeing it happen. I'm tired of reading statements that are unkind about our president. No, I do not agree with most of his decisions, but that doesn't give me the right to say disparaging, cruel things about him. In fact, the Bible calls for me to pray for him, not judge him. I know that I wouldn't want the job of being the president. I'm tired of seeing posts on Facebook that are so excited about pointing out the sin of another person. Of attacks on people's character. Posts that judge others in meanness, ignoring the fact that that person is dearly loved by God. Posts that justify treating others poorly because they disagree with your position.
No wonder people are so against God, if that's what we are showing them. What are they to think if we are saying one minute that God loves everyone, and in the next breath we set conditions on God's love, saying that He doesn't really love everyone, only some. We treat people we meet poorly, without kindness, dignity, or grace. We spend our whole time arguing and fighting and bickering about what sin is bigger, badder, more unforgivable. Even amongst ourselves we argue and fight about who is right and who is wrong. We judge our fellow believer's actions, failing to show compassion to those who are our brothers and sisters in Christ. Who would want to follow a God whose followers are acting that way? I wouldn't.
But, I would argue that this is not God's plan for how things should go. Here's some of what the Bible says about conflict, judgement, differences of opinion and how we should be treating others.
"Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with -- even when it seems they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. For instance, a person who has been around for a while might be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell into criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome?" Romans 14:1-4 the message
""Pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences." Ephesians 4:3 the message
"Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another." Ephesians 5:21 the message
"Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don't miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out." Colossians 4:10 the message
"Even though we had some standing as Christ's apostles, we never threw our weight around or tried to come across as important with you or anyone else. We weren't aloof with you. We took you just as you were. We were never patronizing, never condescending, but we cared for you the way a mother cares for her children." 1 Thessalonians 2: 6-8 the message
"The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know. Pray especially for rulers and their governments to rule well so we can be quietly about our business." 1 Timothy 2:1-2 the message
"Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights. God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart." 2 Timothy 2:23-25 the message
"Remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding, always ready to lend a helping hand. No insults, no fights. God's people should be big hearted and courteous." Titus 3:1-2
"But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless." Titus 3:9 the message
"Listen, dear friends. Isn't it clear by now that God operates quite differently? He chose the worlds down and out as the kingdom's first citizens, with full rights and privileges. This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God." James 2:5 the message
"With our tongues we bless our God our Father, with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. My friends, this can't go on." James 3:9-10 the message
"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, over flowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two faced. You can develop a healthy robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor." James 3: 17-18 the message
"Respect the authorities, whatever their level: they are God's emissaries for keeping order. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family: Revere God. Respect the government." 1Peter 2:13-17 the message
"Isn't it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these "nobodies" to expose the hollow pretensions of the "somebodies"? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God."
1 Corinthians 1:14 the message
You see, God's plan was always about showing love, not anger, to others. God's plan isn't about arguing and fighting with others to prove your point. The only thing you prove by by arguing with someone is that you can be just as stubborn as they are. However, what argument can withstand in the face of love? Seriously, nothing shuts down an argument with someone faster than the statement of "I'm not going to argue with you because I love you, and because God loves you." I love this quote:
"We draw people to Christ not by loudly discrediting what they believe, by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are. But by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all of their hearts to know the source of it." Madeline L'engle
The other part of God's plan that you should never lose sight of is your own sin. But for the grace of God in your life, you would be lost. Tim Keller put it this way:
"You are more sinful than you could dare imagine and you are more loved and accepted than you could ever dare hope."
That doesn't mean that you can't have opinions or beliefs. It doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't voice those beliefs. I'm just saying to make sure you do it in love. Remember that those who are on the other side of the argument are human beings created by God, and treat them as such.
So my challenge to you and to me is to avoid being the "angry" Christian. Instead, be the loving one. Watch your words and actions, for there are those out there who are desperately looking for love to touch their lives, and you may be the only one to bring it to them. Look past their sin, look past their appearance, and see the person who God loves deeply. And respond to them in love, instead of defensiveness and anger. Show the world the true face of God.
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