Have you ever wondered what God wants you to do exactly? Why you are here? What are the "right" things to do? What the rules are?
The answers can seem overwhelming. Especially if you go around asking people for their opinions on the matter. I'm sure the compiled list would be quite long. And I think it's the thought of that long, long list of things to do that turns many people off. Or, the list might be small, but impossible to complete. This small list could contain words like perfection. That's intimidating. There is no way for anyone to be completely perfect. It's unattainable. And that's just depressing.
I need a simple, yet attainable list. Yet, I don't want my list to be shallow, or lacking depth. Nor do I want it to be so mired in theology that I don't even understand what it means, let alone figure out how to accomplish anything. For me, Micah 6:8 answers the question in a way that I can understand it, yet with a depth to it that I feel like I'm not setting a shallow or easy goal.
It says this:
"And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." NIV
"What is God looking for in men and women? It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don't take yourself too seriously-- take God seriously." the Message
So what does it mean, to act justly? It means to to do what is morally right, to be honest, to have integrity. I think that this a concept that appeals to a lot of people. We, as a society, do not like it when we perceive that something is not fair. This seems, on the surface at least, to be an easy and simple task.
And yet, sometimes we find ourselves tempted to use justice to justify doing something that may not be quite fair. An example of this can be drawn from a sports event. When we feel that a member of the team we are not rooting for does something that might be considered cheating, like grabbing a face mask, we stand up loudly and are quick to point it out. However, if it is one of our team members doing the grabbing, we are usually quiet. And if our team member gets away with it, don't we sometimes silently cheer the fact that they didn't get caught? Or sometimes we make excuses, like, their team has been doing it the whole game, or it wouldn't have made a difference on the outcome. In other words, the ends justify the means. It can be a slippery slope, this act justly thing. I mean, who cares if we cheated a little on our taxes if we need the money and all the "rich" people are doing it too. So what if we get a little more change back than we should when paying for an item, the store/company/whatever makes a lot of money, one dime won't matter. I think you can see where this is going. The problem is that if people do not feel like you are trustworthy or honest, or fair in the little things, how can you be trusted with the big things? Trust lost is hard to gain back. One compromise in integrity makes the next compromise easier.
And now we get to the love mercy part. I think we are all drawn to mercy. We are aware of our need for it in our lives. But, we tend to love mercy when it comes to ourselves, and yet we are stingy with it when it comes to anyone else. Compassionate love is often easy to give to a child, or to someone who has had a tragic situation happen. But we want to have levels of mercy and love. We want to say that some people deserve it more. It's harder to have compassion on someone who has hurt us. It's hard to believe that a criminal could and should receive mercy from God.
I'll admit that this is my area of greatest struggle. Intellectually I know that God loves EVERYONE. I know that God can and does show love and mercy and forgiveness to everyone. But, I'll be honest, there are some people that I have a hard time showing that compassion and love to. I'm still working on this one.
"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." Proverbs 13:10
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4 NIV
"Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand." Philippians 2:3-4 the Message
And then we get to the walk humbly portion of the list. Humility is hard. It's hard because it requires us to take a back seat. It is hard because it requires us to acknowledge that we have weaknesses. Humility requires us to live with vulnerability. Humility requires us to acknowledge that we don't know everything. Humility requires us to ask others for help. Humility requires us to be honest about ourselves. Humility puts others first. Humility requires us to acknowledge that God is in control, not us.
Each of these points on the list are, in and of themselves, good. But it is the combination of the three, act justly, love mercy, walk humbly, that God is looking for. Justice needs love to balance it out. Love needs justice to ensure that integrity is maintained. And humility is the glue that keeps us from becoming rigid, intolerant, and arrogant.
That's my list. Simple, yet complex. I am striving to accomplish the tasks that God has set before me, using this simple list to help ensure that I complete what I should in a way that is pleasing to God. I am not on this planet to simply suck up air and return nothing. Even if what I do seems insignificant to others, I know that I will have played a part in making this place better.
I'll leave you with a quote:
"I long to accomplish great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty and joy to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble." Helen Keller
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Thursday, April 16, 2015
The Truth About Leadership
I haven't blogged in while. Truth is, we've been busy. And, I haven't really felt a pressing need to "say" anything. I'm not one to just fill space just because I can, so I haven't. Part of our recent busyness can be attributed to the great "College Prep & Hunt" that we are currently involved in with our son, who is ending his Junior year in High School. For those of you who have younger children, let me tell you that this college process is far different than the process my husband and I went through. Needless to say, it's a little baffling, exciting, and a complete and utter time-sucking experience.
Which brings me to the topic at hand. We have been participating in an unholy number of "University Campus Tours" as of late and I began to notice a theme in all the endless propaganda of why said son should pick this school and why we, as parents, should pay for it. Almost all the Universities we have visited mention some form of "leadership" program. I'm talking above and beyond the usual student government opportunities. It seems to me that this (along with service programs) has become the new, "it" program throughout the nation. And, I think these leadership programs are a good idea, in general.
We visited High Point University last week and they have probably one of the most comprehensive "leadership" programs I have ever seen. Now, they don't necessarily call it by that name, but a rose by any other name is still a rose. The University is led by their very charismatic president, Dr. Nido Qubein, who believes strongly in building character alongside of knowledge. He believes in this concept so much that all Freshman are required to take series of courses with Dr. Quebein entitled the "Presidents Seminar of Life Skills," where students will be taught the fundamentals of leadership, the art of goal setting, time management skills, effective communication skills, fundamentals of fiscal literacy, the principles of stewardship, and etiquette and protocol. Each incoming freshman is assigned a Freshman Success Coach who helps them with Academic Advising and serves as a Liaison between freshman and other university staff. Freshmen are also teamed up with a student who will help them find and participate in activities that interest them. The culmination of this program is the "Presidents's Seminar for Seniors", which focuses on how to transition into the corporate world. It is truly one the most extraordinary programs I've ever witnessed.
Which made me think about Leadership, and what people know and don't know about it. And believe me, I'm not an expert on leadership, but there are a few things that I have learned over the years. These are a few key elements about leadership that I wish to pass down to my son.
1. A title doesn't make you a leader. A person with a "leadership" title isn't a leader unless people are willing to follow him/her. To be a true leader, and an effective leader, you must have someone to lead. If you ever find yourself with a leadership title and no followers, something is wrong, and needs to be fixed.
2. A true leader never asks his or her followers to do something that they are unwilling to do themselves. In fact, a good leader will lead by example, being willing to pitch in and do the work alongside everyone else.
3. Respect is earned, it doesn't automatically come with a leadership title. You earn respect by showing respect to others.
4. A good leader will listen to criticism. It doesn't mean that the leader will accept the criticism as true, or even change their approach, but a true leader should always be willing to weigh whether or not the criticism is merited and requires change.
5. All leaders are at some point the object of gossip, criticism, and hard feelings. Being a leader means that sometimes you have to make hard, unpopular decisions. If you cannot handle people talking about you, you may not be cut out for leadership.
6. Leadership often requires you to go above and beyond what is simply required. I know a lot of people who want the "leadership title" and the perceived perks, but want none of the responsibility or hard work. Here's a hard truth about being a leader. Most leaders do not get paid overtime when they work more than the required 9-5. My husband has a leadership title, and he is often the first one in the office and the last one to leave. He has to travel often. He sometimes misses our child's school events, fun family activities, etc... He is technically "on call" 24/7. He gets work related phone calls during vacations, school events, dinner, and other non-work related activities. In fact, a couple of years ago, we were in Venice, riding in a Gondola down the Grand Canal (which is probably one of the most romantic things you can do), when he received and had to answer a work phone call. Seriously, there we were, in the most romantic place on earth, and I'm just sitting there, listening to his conversation with one of his employees. There are many evenings when he sits down and catches up on work email in the evenings after we have had dinner. It's part of the deal, and he loves his job, but it does require some sacrifice.
7. It takes time, effort, and training to earn the title of leader. My husband knew that in order for him to have the career he wanted, he needed to be trained. He went to college, and earned his degree. He worked several part time jobs during the school season and then worked construction jobs during the summer in order to pay for college. He looked for people to mentor him (and still does) while working his way up. He also looked for opportunities to gain leadership experience by volunteering to work on projects outside of and beyond the duties assigned to him in his job description. My husband has put in 26 years of hard work to earn his title. He worked his way up. This took some time. He was not given his current title and position straight out of college.
8. A good leader recognizes the need for a good team and accepts the responsibility of having employees. A great leader recognizes and honors the responsibility that a leader has towards providing his/her employees with opportunities, training, and a quality work environment. All great leaders recognize that leadership isn't about them, it's about others.
9. A great leader leads by example. She/He should practice all the qualities and characteristics that she/he expects from their employees. Things such as integrity, honesty, loyalty, and respect.
10. A truly great leader is grateful. They are grateful for the opportunities awarded them in life, they are grateful for their employees. They are humble and willing to admit to mistakes. They are also willing to learn from their mistakes and do better next time.
Finally. Not everyone is cut out for leadership. If you are not willing to assume some of the sacrifice and hard work it takes to be in a leadership position, that's ok. Leadership is hard. Leadership often requires a high level of responsibility. Your worth, value and contribution to this world is not measured on whether or not you are a leader. But, if you do decide to take on a leadership role, do so with the full knowledge of what leadership entails, and with a willingness to accept the great responsibility that comes with leadership.
I'll leave you with a photo of my son. I can't believe that college is already knocking on our doorstep. But I am excited! This is what we have worked so hard for, to launch him out into the world to become someone who contributes to the world in a positive way. I'm very proud of him. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Oh, the places he will go..."
Which brings me to the topic at hand. We have been participating in an unholy number of "University Campus Tours" as of late and I began to notice a theme in all the endless propaganda of why said son should pick this school and why we, as parents, should pay for it. Almost all the Universities we have visited mention some form of "leadership" program. I'm talking above and beyond the usual student government opportunities. It seems to me that this (along with service programs) has become the new, "it" program throughout the nation. And, I think these leadership programs are a good idea, in general.
We visited High Point University last week and they have probably one of the most comprehensive "leadership" programs I have ever seen. Now, they don't necessarily call it by that name, but a rose by any other name is still a rose. The University is led by their very charismatic president, Dr. Nido Qubein, who believes strongly in building character alongside of knowledge. He believes in this concept so much that all Freshman are required to take series of courses with Dr. Quebein entitled the "Presidents Seminar of Life Skills," where students will be taught the fundamentals of leadership, the art of goal setting, time management skills, effective communication skills, fundamentals of fiscal literacy, the principles of stewardship, and etiquette and protocol. Each incoming freshman is assigned a Freshman Success Coach who helps them with Academic Advising and serves as a Liaison between freshman and other university staff. Freshmen are also teamed up with a student who will help them find and participate in activities that interest them. The culmination of this program is the "Presidents's Seminar for Seniors", which focuses on how to transition into the corporate world. It is truly one the most extraordinary programs I've ever witnessed.
Which made me think about Leadership, and what people know and don't know about it. And believe me, I'm not an expert on leadership, but there are a few things that I have learned over the years. These are a few key elements about leadership that I wish to pass down to my son.
1. A title doesn't make you a leader. A person with a "leadership" title isn't a leader unless people are willing to follow him/her. To be a true leader, and an effective leader, you must have someone to lead. If you ever find yourself with a leadership title and no followers, something is wrong, and needs to be fixed.
2. A true leader never asks his or her followers to do something that they are unwilling to do themselves. In fact, a good leader will lead by example, being willing to pitch in and do the work alongside everyone else.
3. Respect is earned, it doesn't automatically come with a leadership title. You earn respect by showing respect to others.
4. A good leader will listen to criticism. It doesn't mean that the leader will accept the criticism as true, or even change their approach, but a true leader should always be willing to weigh whether or not the criticism is merited and requires change.
5. All leaders are at some point the object of gossip, criticism, and hard feelings. Being a leader means that sometimes you have to make hard, unpopular decisions. If you cannot handle people talking about you, you may not be cut out for leadership.
6. Leadership often requires you to go above and beyond what is simply required. I know a lot of people who want the "leadership title" and the perceived perks, but want none of the responsibility or hard work. Here's a hard truth about being a leader. Most leaders do not get paid overtime when they work more than the required 9-5. My husband has a leadership title, and he is often the first one in the office and the last one to leave. He has to travel often. He sometimes misses our child's school events, fun family activities, etc... He is technically "on call" 24/7. He gets work related phone calls during vacations, school events, dinner, and other non-work related activities. In fact, a couple of years ago, we were in Venice, riding in a Gondola down the Grand Canal (which is probably one of the most romantic things you can do), when he received and had to answer a work phone call. Seriously, there we were, in the most romantic place on earth, and I'm just sitting there, listening to his conversation with one of his employees. There are many evenings when he sits down and catches up on work email in the evenings after we have had dinner. It's part of the deal, and he loves his job, but it does require some sacrifice.
7. It takes time, effort, and training to earn the title of leader. My husband knew that in order for him to have the career he wanted, he needed to be trained. He went to college, and earned his degree. He worked several part time jobs during the school season and then worked construction jobs during the summer in order to pay for college. He looked for people to mentor him (and still does) while working his way up. He also looked for opportunities to gain leadership experience by volunteering to work on projects outside of and beyond the duties assigned to him in his job description. My husband has put in 26 years of hard work to earn his title. He worked his way up. This took some time. He was not given his current title and position straight out of college.
8. A good leader recognizes the need for a good team and accepts the responsibility of having employees. A great leader recognizes and honors the responsibility that a leader has towards providing his/her employees with opportunities, training, and a quality work environment. All great leaders recognize that leadership isn't about them, it's about others.
9. A great leader leads by example. She/He should practice all the qualities and characteristics that she/he expects from their employees. Things such as integrity, honesty, loyalty, and respect.
10. A truly great leader is grateful. They are grateful for the opportunities awarded them in life, they are grateful for their employees. They are humble and willing to admit to mistakes. They are also willing to learn from their mistakes and do better next time.
Finally. Not everyone is cut out for leadership. If you are not willing to assume some of the sacrifice and hard work it takes to be in a leadership position, that's ok. Leadership is hard. Leadership often requires a high level of responsibility. Your worth, value and contribution to this world is not measured on whether or not you are a leader. But, if you do decide to take on a leadership role, do so with the full knowledge of what leadership entails, and with a willingness to accept the great responsibility that comes with leadership.
I'll leave you with a photo of my son. I can't believe that college is already knocking on our doorstep. But I am excited! This is what we have worked so hard for, to launch him out into the world to become someone who contributes to the world in a positive way. I'm very proud of him. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Oh, the places he will go..."
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