"Ancora Imparo" is an Italian phrase meaning "Yet, I am still learning." It is often attributed to Michelangelo, who wrote this inscription on a sketch he was working on at the age of 87 years old. I love this quote so much that I had it enlarged into a transfer that I placed on my office wall where I can look at it everyday.
Around this time, on a whim, I happened to download a book by Shanda Rhimes entitled, "Year of Yes" onto my kindle while traveling back to Denver to spend some time with my mom. Mom was really starting to sleep a lot due to her battle with cancer, and while sitting with her I simply read while she slept. There was really no thought put into the book purchase other than I was looking for something a little bit light and easy to read, something I could put down and pick back up with ease. Nothing too heavy, too dark, or too sad-- I was already dealing with enough of that with mom's illness. And I had also been a fan of several of the T.V. shows that the author produced.
The concept of the book was simply her experience with deciding to challenge herself to say yes to everything that scared her for one year. And I'll admit it, I enjoyed the book, but I didn't feel like it was necessarily life changing. I consider myself to be fairly adventurous. I mean, it wasn't like I was spending my time locked up in my house all by myself with my cat. At this point I had traveled a fair amount. I had a career for a while. I raised a child. I have a college degree. I sat there thinking that I haven't spent my life in isolation, in a small little box, afraid to go out into the world. So I read the book, enjoyed it, and set it aside.
But, that word Yes kept popping up over and over, and sometimes in the strangest of places and the strangest of ways. It came up in conversation with a friend when we were talking about our recent moves to a new city. We had both recently moved to Columbus and she was saying that she decided that because they were new to the city and didn't have a friend base here, they decided to say yes to every invitation to dinner, events, etc. that they could. Then there was a sermon at church about saying Yes. And so on and so on... that word kept popping up.
And I had also been thinking about turning 50 and what that meant. I'll admit that I am not one of those people who mourned turning 50. I have had friends who have died before they ever reached this age, so it's a gift to still be here. I have had a mostly good 50 years of life. And I have managed to fit a lot of life into 50 years. But, I wanted to be mindful of where I wanted to go next. Like most people, large chunks of my younger years involved me reacting to life rather than actively participating in it. And the control freak in me, which has gotten stronger with age, wanted to at least be more thoughtful about choices and decisions that I make from here on out.
It was in the middle of all this thinking and consideration one morning when I looked up to my office wall and read those words... Ancora Imparo-- and it hit me- I couldn't remember the last time I really made a conscious decision to learn something new. And the more I thought about it, I had started to say no more and more often to new experiences. Hmmm....
And with not a lot of deep thought or even deep conviction I decided to try a year of saying Yes to new experiences to celebrate being 50. I mean, it wasn't like I was going to tell anyone that I was doing it, so if I decided to quit partway through the year, no one would know. If I hated it, or didn't follow through, it wasn't going to hurt anyone. Why not? I thought I would just treat it like a New Years resolution-- maybe I will stick to it, maybe I won't.
So, in the spirit of still learning, I signed up to take a watercolor class at our local conservatory. I've always had a love of art-- as my husband and son can testify too-- since I have drug them both through various art museums throughout our travels-- but I am very aware that a love for art and a talent to create art are two distinctly different things. And although this class stated that it was clearly for beginners, and there wasn't going to be a grade involved, I began to regret my decision to sign up almost immediately. Which took me completely by surprise. I feel like most of the time I am a pretty confident person, but here I was worrying about a class that was supposed to be for fun. My perfectionism kicked in right away-- what if I was really bad at painting? Can you fail a for fun art class? And there were going to be other people there, what if I am the worst painter in the class? When the day rolled around for my first class, I waited until the last minute to leave the house. In fact, I almost didn't go at all. But go I did, and showed up to the class, where I was the youngest and least experienced person there. At first, I fretted over doing everything perfectly. I fretted over the drawing process, I fretted over combining the paints to get the right colors, I fretted over how amazing the lady next to me was.... this wasn't turning out to be as fun as I had originally planned. But then, our teacher turned on some music, and left us to practice the concepts she had just taught us on our own. I began to relax with the music and I finally just let all of my thoughts go. And guess what? I began to have fun! And I was learning something new. And it was challenging for me. The teacher and the women in the class were great at encouraging and gently teaching me. I have discovered that I really do enjoy painting. I am by far not the best in the class, but I'm not the worst either. And I am still learning....
What I learned from saying yes to this art class was threefold. One, saying yes to things that you might be uncomfortable with helps you learn to tolerate uncertainty. Truly nothing is certain in life anyway, so you need to be ok with that. Two, failure isn't as big of a deal as we make it out to be. In fact, we can learn a lot through failing-- but we often choose guaranteed success at the expense of learning just because we are afraid to fail at something. And thirdly, learning something new is good for your brain. In fact, studies have shown that learning new skills lowers your cortisol levels, improves your immune function, and actually helps you increase and create new synapse connections in your brain.
My next Yes was even more terrifying for me: I committed to being a "W.I.S.H. woman for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. What that basically means is that I committed to raising at least $10,000 for the 2019 fundraising year to help fund one childs wish. This "Yes" was upping the stakes a little more because if I failed, it would impact others, not just me. Believe me, nobody wants to fail a child! Ever! And I was a little nervous because although I had done fundraising before for both my son's schools and for the University where I worked-- with those I always had staff or other people helping me. Plus, I had connections with various people in the community. Well, we had only lived in Columbus for about a year, and we were just starting to make those connections. But I wanted to find ways to give back to my local community, and this opportunity presented itself... so I said yes. And then spent the next month or so freaking out about my decision. Again, insecurity loomed. Also, I really, really, really hate to sell stuff-- I am not a salesman! And I truly hate to ask for money! What had I done? And then I had an amazing encounter with an incredible couple who we met while in South Africa.
We were staying at the same lodge and sharing a safari vehicle with a couple from New Zealand. We so enjoyed their company and we all got on pretty well. One night, in a conversation over dinner, the subject of me volunteering to raise funds for Make-A-Wish came up. I simply shared with this couple (and the others at our table) what Make-A-Wish does and what my fundraising goal was. And then we moved on in the conversation. I didn't give it another thought. However, when I got home from our trip to Africa, I had an email waiting for me from that couple with a donation towards my fundraising campaign. All from one dinner conversation with people that we spent 3 days with in the bush of Africa. Amazing! And although they were the first to donate, they were by far not the last! My amazing group of friends and my husbands fantastic company all came together to raise over $10,000 for Make-A-Wish.
The lesson from this Yes? That people are amazingly kind, generous, loving, and giving. And that they are willing to help others that they do not know and may never meet! It also taught me to dream bigger dreams-- because sometimes they do come true.
My next Yes lesson came from an art tour we signed up for while spending the night in Windhoek, Namibia. It all began with a call from our travel agents stating that we had a flight schedule change and needed to extend our stay in Windhoek. This left us with a full, free afternoon to explore the area, and she suggested that we might consider this new tour that a friend of hers was doing-- an art tour which featured local artists from Namibia. Being an art lover I jumped at the chance to visit, meet, and converse with local artists. Little did I know how different, and entirely incredible, this tour was going to be. Our guides met us at the hotel and we jumped in their vehicle to begin the tour. They pointed out some of the historical buildings as we drove through town heading to our first location.
And then the guide turned his car towards an unexpected location. He turned down a road that lead out of the "city" area and we headed towards a local "township." For those of you who do not know, a township in Africa is an area where people have come in and built homes out of corrugated tin, scraps, literally whatever material they can find. Driving past we could see some young kids "pirating" electricity from the power lines-- they literally hook wires onto these lines, run them down the poles, and bury them in shallow trenches that run towards whatever home needs electricity. It looks entirely unsafe and it was worrisome to see these young children handling something that could kill them with one wrong move. As we drove by, our guide explained that although to our very "western" eyes this looked a tad bit chaotic and unsafe, these neighborhoods were in fact vibrant thriving communities. Most of the people who lived in this township were from tribes that used to be nomadic-- a lifestyle that is nearly impossible to maintain in these modern times-- which all of our fences, and borders, and rules. And so, they have adapted, changed their lifestyles to a more sedentary one. They have developed and built schools and community centers. They have these amazing open air markets. We passed by barber shops, butcher shops, and restaurants-- all run out of these (by our standards) small tin structures with pirated electricity. And then we arrived at our first stop, a small art school run by a local artist. He ran this free school to provide the kids in his area a place to come to after school, while their parents were still working. They use anything they can find to create amazing art. Some of the children were making jewelry out of pieces of aluminum soda cans, some of the children were sewing and weaving pieces, and some in the back were sketching. All of the artwork was stunning, and different, and extremely creative. And all of it a reflection of their life, their complex and extraordinary culture, and their ability to see the beauty all around them.
Our next stop was at the house of a local artist known as Uncle Paul. Uncle Paul graciously invited us into his home and showed us his work. A completely self taught, untrained artist, his paintings reflect all he has seen while growing up in Namibia. We talked about the dramatic changes his country has gone through from their occupation by South Africa, to apartheid, the struggle for Independence in 1988, rebellions, and most recently the severe drought that has hit this already very arid country. All of this is reflected in his work. What an amazing artist as well as just such a kind and humble man!
This Yes challenged me to redefine my definitions of beauty, creativity, and community. It also reminded me of the role that art plays by not only adding beauty to life, but also in recording history and providing important and often deeply moving social commentary about what is taking place in society.
This next Yes led me to one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I will never, ever forget this experience, and it involved these Mopane worms you see in the photo above. While staying at a Ongava Lodge in the upper Northern part of Namibia near Etosha National Park, we were privileged to get to know a young man named Rio, who was working there. We were telling Rio how much we were enjoying our meal when the topic of favorite foods came up and Rio mentioned that he loved a dish called Pap and we should try it sometime. I told him that we would love to try some traditional Namibian food. Rio, after asking us if we really meant it, and asking if we would be really open minded, said that he talked to the chef and they would be preparing for us a traditional Namibian meal that evening for dinner.
We arrived back at camp after our evening game drive and were greeted by several camp staff dressed in traditional tribal clothing who informed us that after we cleaned up a bit they would be hosting us for the meal. Upon arriving at the main lodge we were then invited in and several of the camp staff joined us. They began to instruct us in all the traditions of their tribe and how a traditional tribal meal took place. I was given the honor of being the matriarchal female-- which meant that no one could sit for the meal until I did. I was instructed where to sit and how to sit. As the Mother, I sat on the floor with my legs outstretched and slightly crossed at the ankles. I am told that no matter what happens, the head mother never moves from her spot. The belief is that the head mother (which is who I am for the evening) is a type of barometer for the emotional stability of the home. As long as the head mother remains calm, everything will be ok. Then Jeff was given the honor of being the patriarchal male and was instructed to sit with his legs crossed. Then the young women sat, legs crossed with their dresses drawn over the knees. The young men, however do not sit. Instead they kneel with one knee on the ground and the other leg bent with their foot flat on the ground-- always at the ready to defend the tribe or livestock.
After everyone was seated, the meal was brought out on long wooden platter that had five partitions carved into it. Each partition held a different traditional food. In the center sat the Pap-- which is a a doughy type of porridge/polenta made from ground maize. They explain that we do not use utensils to eat the food, instead we use the pap to scoop up portions of the other foods. The other four foods on the platter were cooked spinach, some cooked beans, Biltong (which is basically jerky made from some type of game meat-- in this case Oryx), and cooked Mopane worms. They then begin to explain that as the head of house woman, I must take two bites before anyone else can eat. In their culture, since the head of household woman usually prepares the food, she gets the first two bites. While I understand that this is a great honor, I am also thinking, dear lord, what did I get myself into this time? I am also determined to not offend these dear people in any way. They have honored me by inviting me into their tradition and culture, and there is no way I am going to disrespect them or their culture. So I check to make sure that my drink is full and I go straight in and grab a worm with my pap, all the while thinking that I might just be able to swallow it whole, helped along with a good amount of water. It becomes apparent to me once it is in my mouth that this process is going to require chewing, there's no way to swallow this worm whole. And I will stop here to say that the word worm is misleading, because these are really what we in the states would call a caterpillar-- a large one at that. As I chew I am thinking that once I eat the worm, I can then dive into the more familiar food and take my second bite, which will then do two things-- first, it will help erase the flavor of the worm if it is bad, and it will allow others to eat so that I am not the sole focus of their attention.
I can only imaging what my face looked like. I was trying to maintain a serene face, while I was slightly panicking inside. But a funny thing happened once I relaxed and decided in my mind that I was going to enjoy this amazing experience, I actually chewed the worm... and it wasn't bad. The spices they used were really good, and the Mopane worm, while still an insect, was kind of tasty. And as soon as I let go of my fear and hesitation, the evening turned into something indescribably magic. Sitting around this simple meal with this group, eating their local food and listening to their tales of growing up in Namibia, asking questions and laughing together, while the sounds of the bush sounded out all around us, I gained priceless insight into this stunning country and it's beautiful people. I fell deeply in love with this country in this moment.
This Yes taught me the value of engaging my heart and leaning into a deeper understanding when interacting with people who are different from me. The importance of listening to what others are saying, without judgement. That there is value in differing thoughts, perspectives, and experiences. It also reminded me that despite all of our differences in culture we still had a lot in common. And that trying new things can turn out better than you expect.
I can't go into every Yes story or it would turn into a very long blog (or a book), but I will leave you with a few more thoughts on what I gained by just saying one simple word more often. I learned that I can do more things than I thought I could. I learned that I can still learn new things. I am more confident in situations where I might feel a little unsure or apprehensive. I have had more fun and amazingly enriching life experiences all from saying yes to things. I have met some of the most incredible people on planet earth! I look at the world differently and more positively. I am more curious and willing to learn new things. I find myself stopping more, and just enjoying the moment-- big or small-- whether it's looking at brilliant sunset or just enjoying the smell of a pine tree forest. It has brought back my sense of wonder... wonder at this amazing world we live on, wonder at the incredible people I get to share this planet with, and wonder that God has created it all.
I am looking forward to continuing this practice of Yes into the next year! I can't wait to see the crazy, remarkable, surprising, and awe-inspiring experiences saying Yes brings me to and through! Letting my Yes experiences help me in my quest for Ancora Impara-- to keep learning. Maybe you can try it with me?
This is not the blog I sat down to write, but it is the one I ended up with...just by saying another Yes.. I hope you were at least entertained, if not encouraged to try and say Yes more. I'll leave you with a few more of the Yes moments from the past 18 months, some of them with photos. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope they are full of extraordinary and ordinary moments of wonder!
Yes Experiences:
1. The very first photo on this blog is of Jeff and I exploring the caves of Walker Bay in South Africa.
2. Did a night snorkel with feeding Manta Rays off the coast of the Big Island in Hawaii. These amazing creatures are over 15 feet wide and weigh in at over 6,000 pounds. Incredible, eery, stunning moment!
3. Hung out with African Porcupines one evening in Namibia. I even brought back some of their shed quills.
4. Hiked into the DeadVlei in the Namibian Desert.
5. Took a very spur of the moment trip to lake Michigan. Seriously last minute (which for a planner like me is sacrilege). We talked about going out of town that morning around 8 am. By 1 pm Jeff had left work early, I had booked a cabin, and we were packed on on our way. Very fun weekend with my handsome husband!
6. Visited one of the famed Cape Vineyards in South Africa.
7. Had diner with a White Rhino in attendance in South Africa.
8. Had diner out in the middle of the bush in Sabi Sands, South Africa by lantern light.
9. Had several close encounters with elephants in South Africa.
10. Went snowshoeing for the first time on Lake Louise in Canada. I know... I was born and raised in Colorado and this was my first snowshoeing experience....go figure
11. Touched a Fennec Fox. They are so incredibly soft!!!!
12. Hung out with this handsome African Penguin at a charity dinner. I got to touch him too.
13. Got to meet one my heroes in person, Dr. Laurie Marker who started the Cheetah Conservation Fund.
14. Saw a Honey Badger in the wild at Etosha National Park, Namibia.
15. Sat in a Photo blind and photographed animals as they came to the watering hole in Ongava, Namibia
16. Laid outside in this bed atop our room in the Namib Desert and stargazed under some of the clearest skies on planet earth with my handsome husband.
17. Sat next to a lion in the wild while he roared. Still gives me goose bumps!
18. Hung out on our deck with a troop of Vervet Monkeys while they played and swam in our pool.
19. Walked in the footsteps of a legend... this is Londolozi in South Africa, the place where Nelson Mandela wrote most of his book "Long Walk to Freedom."
20. Went dog sledding in Banff, Canada. Jeff ran the sled and I enjoyed the ride.
21. Went on my first honest-to-goodness sleigh ride at Lake Louise in Canada
22. Enjoyed New Year's Day game of Bocce Ball on the beach with dear friends.
23. Saw a Chameleon in the wild... South Africa
24. Joined a book club.
