We All Need A Pack-- What Wild Dogs Know

The photo above is of an African Wild Dog (some people call them painted dogs).  They are critically endangered, with only around 5,000 of them left in the wild.  And we were privileged enough to observe a pack while in the Kalahari region of South Africa.  This particular pack was at their den, where they had a recent litter of pups stashed.  The pups were still young enough that they had not ventured out of the den, so although we could hear them, we never had the opportunity to view them.

African wild dogs are an amazing species.  They exist in hierarchical packs of 6-20, lead by an alpha mating pair.  For such a relatively small predator, they have a very high hunting success rate of 80%.  Lions are only successful in 30% of their hunts.  Each dogs coat pattern is unique, like a fingerprint, making it easy to distinguish individuals by sight.  They are extremely intelligent.

Wild Dogs know instinctually that their survival depends on their pack-- on who they surround themselves with.  There are a lot of lessons we can learn from these animals but today I want to focus on what we can learn from them about successful friendship, or in African Wild Dog terms-- the importance of a good pack.

Lesson Number One:  There's no room for fighting or jealousy in a Pack. There is no fighting over food.  The pack is hierarchical.  Everyone is clear on where they stand within the pack.  And they all understand they will all get a turn at the dinner table, so to speak.  Because of this feeling or knowledge of security of their place within the pack, they rarely show aggression towards each other (unlike Lions, who although they are in the same pride will not hesitate to snap at, snarl at, and even bite each other over even a tiny little scrap).  The point is that they don't feel the need to be aggressive towards their pack members because they are secure in their place.

Lesson Number Two: It takes a Pack to raise kids.  The pups, who are the weaker and most helpless members of the pack, come first.  The whole pack participates in feeding and caring for the pups.  When the pups are first born and totally reliant upon the mother for sustenance, the other pack members go out and hunt.  They then return to the den site and regurgitate food for the alpha female so that she is well fed and able to care for the pups.  When the pups are old enough to venture from the den and follow the pack, once the kill is made, all the adult pack members will then take on the role of guard duty while the pups eat first.  They understand that they are all responsible for their young, and they take that role seriously.  They all pitch in to help raise and nourish the youngsters, by providing them with food, guidance, and even discipline when needed.  An alpha female can give birth to up to 10 pups, so she needs help in raising them.  She can't do it on her own.  And her pack steps in and helps pick up the slack.

Lesson Number Three:  A Pack Takes Care of Each Other. When a member of the pack becomes ill, injured, or elderly-- restricting or even incapacitating their effectiveness as a hunter-- the whole pack cares for and feeds them, for as long as it takes or is needed.  They all take on the role of helping out their fellow pack member.

Lesson Number Four: A Pack Encourages Each Other. African Wild Dogs are extremely communicative.  They communicate by touch, actions, and vocalizations.  Before a pack goes out on a hunt, they have a whole process where they build up excitement and encouragement within the pack.  They start by circulating among their pack members while vocalizing and touching.  Kind of like cheering each other on, building each other up, and preparing each other to go out and have a successful hunt.  When every pack member is showing the same amount of excitement and confidence, they take off and begin the hunt.

Lesson Number Five: A Pack is excited to see each other.  Wild Dogs have elaborate greeting rituals.  African Wild Dog packs are extremely social, and their social bonds make them strong.  Sometimes, especially when there are pups, only a few members of the pack go out hunting or patrolling their territory.  We were lucky enough to witness what happens when members who have been gone return to the pack.  Before the members even join up, they start to announce their excitement at returning to their pack.  You can hear them yipping and making a sound called twittering as they race towards their pack members.  Upon their return, the whole pack gathers around each other, touching, smelling and vocalizing.  Basically, they are announcing how excited they are to be together again.  They are re-affirming their pack bonds. Their enthusiasm and excitement at seeing each other is an incredible thing to witness.  It's a loud, happy, homecoming, and it's quite amazing!

Lesson Number Six: Communication is key to a successful Pack. Experts agree that one of the keys to the African Wild Dogs hunting success is  their use of constant communication.  Throughout a hunt they constantly communicate with each other vocally in order to work together towards a common goal. They are  always letting their pack mates know where they are and what they are doing.  They encourage each other, they greet each other.  Communication is a consistent part of their social structure.  They instinctively understand that strong pack bonds are only formed through consistent and open communication. 

The Last Lesson is a sad one, but it is important nonetheless. Lesson Number Seven: What you bring to the Pack can cause it to be destroyed.  I have kept in contact with some of the places and people we met in Africa through Facebook and other methods and I was greatly saddened to learn this year that this pack of African Wild Dogs recently all died of distemper.  You see, African Wild Dogs are of the canine species, and as such, are susceptible to the same diseases that affect domesticated dogs.  However, the African Wild Dogs genetic make up differs enough from that of domestic dogs that vaccinations and treatments that work successfully on domestic dogs do not work on Wild Dogs.  So what happened is that one of the members of this African Wild Dog pack came into contact with a domestic species that was infected with this virus and became infected.  And that's all it took.  That one member then brought back that infection to the pack, and due to their extremely social nature, it didn't take much time for the whole pack to become infected and succumb to the disease.  

So that's it, lessons on relationship and friendship as taught to me by an amazing pack of African Wild Dogs.  I'll end this blog with last piece of encouragement and advice:  Find your pack.  It doesn't have to be a big pack, some of the most successful Wild Dog packs consist of only 6 members.  Remember that it takes some work and investment on your part to form the solid pack bonds-- don't be a lazy pack member.  Spending time together and communicating openly and honestly to each other re-enforces your bonds.  Encourage your pack members.  Help your pack members out when they are struggling-- don't be afraid to step in and be there when your pack members face hard things. A successful pack allows you to feel secure in your membership of the pack-- there's no room for fighting or jealousy.  Your pack should provide a place where you can be honest and true without feeling unsafe.  There should be safety in numbers-- safety in your pack. And make sure that you are careful of what you bring back to the pack-- don't bring your jealousy, bitterness, pettiness, judgement, gossip, etc. back to the pack.  Many packs break up because of the disease of anger and un-forgiveness.  In other words, don't bring distemper to your pack.  We all need a pack-- life is better together.  I would be remiss if I didn't mention my pack-- not by name-- you know who you are.  I am blessed with an amazing, life-giving, supportive, fantastic, talented group of pack members.  I couldn't get through life without them, and they are one of my greatest joys!  I love you PACK!!!! 

I'll leave you with a few more photos of these incredible animals.  Have a good day!

This is a wide angle of where the African Wild Dogs had their den site.... it had just rained and this rainbow popped out.  You can see bits of the dogs huddled together under the tree.  Just stunning, breathtaking landscape!

 And this was the sunset shortly after our interaction with the Wild Dogs... and I included it because it was just wow!!!! and a perfect ending to an incredible day.  I still dream of Africa.....

What Hyena's Taught Me About Beauty-- An African Tale

I heard them long before I ever had the opportunity to see one in person.  Their eerie whooping call standing out amongst the cacophony of nighttime African bush noises surrounding us.  The next day, our tracker pointed out their tracks in the soft dirt around camp-- Hyena-- he said to me in his soft, lilting voice....

I have not found many animals whose name, when mentioned, brings more fear and loathing than the Hyena.  They have a reputation as cowardly, mangy, somewhat dim-witted, thieves and poachers.  With their patchy fur and odd proportions, they certainly don't meet our standards for beauty.

I'm going to walk you through a few Hyena facts-- a little Hyena 101 class.  The Hyena are neither canine nor feline, they are in fact their own species of animal.  The photo above is of a young spotted Hyena.  The spotted Hyena live in matriarchal clans which can contain over 80 animals, all living together.  Contrary to popular belief, Hyena's are very good hunters and probably 90% of their food source is from their own hunting.  What they lack in speed, they make up for in endurance.  To put it simply, a Hyena will just run behind prey until the prey is exhausted.  They don't tire easily.  However, Hyena's are opportunists, and they will scavenge a meal if the opportunity arises.  They will eat almost anything, and as scavengers they help the ecosystem by cleaning up a huge amount of dead matter.  And as far as their reputation goes for stealing food-- more often than not their meal is stolen by lions.  They can weigh upwards of 190 pounds. They are fierce, yet they are extremely dutiful parents.  And they will protect their den and young with their life.  No one who has watched them run would ever call them graceful exactly, but there is a type of strut to their gait, like they carry with them a secret bit of courage that no one knows about.

For whatever reason, I knew that I wanted to see Hyena's while in Africa.  Maybe because I can't think of the African bush without picturing Hyena's as part of the landscape.  Maybe because when my son was little the Lion King was one of our favorite movies and the Hyena characters gave me a good laugh.  For whatever reason, I knew that I wanted to see these animals.  But, as much as I wanted to view them, I was more than a little nervous about doing so.  I had a preconceived notion of what it would be like to be in the middle of all that nervous energy that seemed to be always bursting out of them when I watched documentaries on Africa.  Maybe it was because of their reputation.

One day, our guide told us that he had a special treat for us, we were going to visit the Hyena den, and if we were lucky, we would see some cubs.  Cool!  When we arrived, the adults were out, probably hunting, and had left a big sister in charge of the den.  

At first they are all unsure about us and the vehicle.  Sticking close to the den and big sister.

But eventually, curiosity won out over fear of the unknown, and they began to cautiously approach the vehicle to have a closer look and smell.  Stopping every so often to gnaw on a stick or twig.

And as I watched these young cubs, I began to see a hidden beauty.  They were smart, working out that we were there to observe them.  They were brave coming up close to the vehicle.  And their little golden coats caught the dappled sunlight reflecting off the golden strands of their fur.

And one glimpse into those large dark eyes and I was had.  Changed.  No longer did I see just a strange animal that instilled fear and a little bit of loathing.  I saw the beauty of an animal that has survived and thrived for hundred of years.  I saw intelligence and a strange sort of grace.  And when they had satiated their curiosity about us, and they relaxed enough to play, I saw the beauty of their family bonds.  

What is interesting about this, is that seeing this beauty in them didn't change what they were.  They were and are still a fierce predator.  They could, technically, kill me.  The situation didn't change, just my view of it.

Now, take a leap with me here.  We have all probably heard the Bible verse that says:

"Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 

 1 Thessalonians 5:18

or how about Psalm 34:1, 

"I will bless the Lord at all times;  His praise shall continually be in my mouth."

So what do these verses have to do with Hyena's in Africa?  Remember that leap I told you about... here it is.  Sometimes in life we find ourselves in the middle of circumstances that inspire in us fear and loathing.  We see nothing beautiful or redemptive about where we are.  These situations could be called your own personal Hyena's.  These situations are ugly to look at, they strike fear into your heart, and they fill you with loathing or anger.

For my family, one of  our own personal "Hyena's" has been my moms battle with cancer.  And it has been a battle.  My mom has lived with, fought, and battled cancer for 12 years... and she still is.  It has been ugly.  It has been terrifying.  It has brought us to our feet in anger and drug us down to our knees in sorrow.  This own personal metaphoric Hyena has run behind us and left us exhausted, and tired, and at times hopeless. And when you look at it, it doesn't look like there could possibly be anything of beauty there.  

And yet, I read those verses, and others like them in the Bible, and I know that there is supposed to be more for me to see than just the ugly parts.  And that's the real challenge, isn't it?  How do I shift my vision of what I see in such a way that I can recognize and see the beauty?  For me, that process began with inspiration from a little saying by Alice Morse Earle I came across several years ago which simply states:

"Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day."

For me, it is a process of trying to find that one thing in each circumstance that is good.  It doesn't mean that I can stand here and say that my mom having cancer turned into a good thing.  I just can't do that.  But I can look for the good within the situation.   It simply required me to take baby steps... not big leaps of faith, which made it seem more manageable for me to handle.  Let me give you some examples:

1.  When the doctors say that her cancer is terminal, which they have been very clear about from the beginning... I can look back and be grateful that even though this is true, we have had 12 years with her.  Which I see as a beautiful gift.  No one is promised tomorrow.  No one....

2.  When mom had to take early retirement from a career that she loved... I can look back and be grateful that she then had the extra time to spend with her husband, her children, and most importantly her grandchildren-- who all love and adore their "Memaw"

3.  When this cancer took my mom's voicebox (and thus her voice) .... I can watch her in church, still worshipping and praising God... and know deep down in my soul that to God, no one's voice is as beautiful  as the somewhat silent one my mother raises to him.

And those are just a few examples of what I hold close to my heart when I am tempted to see only the ugly parts.  

Let me be clear, acknowledging and being grateful for the bits of beauty in this situation doesn't change the nature of the circumstance.  The cancer is still ugly.  It is still hard.  It is still terrifying, and brutal, and all of those scary and loathsome things.  But at the same time there are small beauties to be found.  And upon further reading of the Bible, I believe that God wants us to have good things in our life.  I believe he places beauty all around us even in hard and difficult situations.  But, you sometimes have to do the hard work of looking for them.  And that's the key to living life abundantly and fully.  Life isn't solely made up of the ugly stuff.  It isn't  solely made up of the beautiful stuff either.  A full, complete, abundant life has both parts in it.  And living fully requires you to see both the beauty and the ugliness, the sorrow and the joy.  That's a full life.  A whole life. And that's the sort of life I am seeking to live.

I want to live fully, completely,  tasting all it has to offer.  I want to be able to look back on my life and know that I abundantly lived the way the God wanted me to.  Some days it's very hard to do this.  Some days I mostly see the ugliness of my Hyena's.  And I have to search for that brief glimpse of beauty.  

I don't know what your situation is, I only know that no one gets through life unscathed and without scars.  No one.  But I hope that you will begin to search out ways to live fully and abundantly.  That means living in the good, bad, and the ugly of life.  Resist the temptation to only live in the bad... make yourself search for the beauty-- even if it's only a brief glimpse or glimmer of it-- in each day.  Remind yourself that God didn't call you to live life halfway.  He called you into the fullness of it.  I hope you leave today's blog hopeful and encouraged.  I'll leave you with a few more Bible verses that I repeat to myself often when I am struggling to glimpse the goodness and beauty in a situation.  I'll also leave you with a few more photos of those beautiful Hyena cubs.

"In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  John 1:51

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."  John 10:10

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."  Psalm 34:8

"Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."  Psalm 34:10

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:29-31

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion's never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22-23

I should Probably Apologize...Confessions of a Travel Addict #whydopeoplevacationwithme?

 So today, as I walked by my computer, a photo flashed up on my screen saver that brought back a fond memory of a trip we took with friends a few years ago.  I have my screen saver on my computer set up to cycle through my photos, and as I watched, it cycled through several photos that brought back more and more memories.

One of my favorite things to do is to plan trips, and if I can rope friends into joining us, all the better.  My nick-name is tour guide Barbie-- because I love to obsessively plan out all the fun we are going to have.  I began to laugh as I remembered various stories from various trips we have taken.  We have some really funny stories.

The first one I remembered was when I went on a cruise with a friend of mine.  She is a travel agent and at the time, she went on "training" cruises to learn about the cruise and what she would be selling to clients.  Normally her husband went with her for a reduced rate.  However, he couldn't go and so she asked me to go with her.  One of our stops was at Grand Cayman.   She's not a swimmer, but the best sites of Grand Cayman are underneath the water.  So I had a grand idea of taking an underwater 2 person mini-sub down below so she could check things out.  No problem right?  Except I forgot that my poor friend was really claustrophobic.  And she was super nervous about the water.  As we are sitting wayyyyy out from shore, on the platform, in the sub, and they are starting to lower us down, I look over at her face and see that she's slightly panicked.  The further they lower us down, the more she was shooting me side-eye.  I just remember talking to her and telling her things like...see, it's fine... it's all good... we're ok....Truely the faces she made were the funniest ever.  Once we got down and she saw the fish we were all good.  But she admitted that she can't believe I talked her into doing it ;)

Hmmmm.... and now that I think about it, this is the same friend that we talked into to going on a cruise with us (her husband and young son included) about a month after she had major surgery.  Telling her that it would be relaxing.... forgetting that this same friend was prone to motion sickness... I also believe that is the same trip that while on a snorkeling excursion from the ship with her husband, Jeff, and her young son, one of the other snorkel guests got flat out drunk and proceeded to flash the whole boat... young son included....

Those were the same friends that drove all night with us on a trip back from Vegas... and at 3am we convinced them to stop at the scariest Bar I have ever been to in my life because a pit stop was needed due to the copious amounts of caffeinated soft drinks being consumed while trying to stay awake for said drive.....

Ok, well we have traveled with other people too, and I'm sure that it's all been quite fun right?

I remember my 40th birthday, where I invited some of my girlfriends to join me for a weekend out of town for food and shopping.  That was a lot of fun!  Except for the part where I ran over one of my friends feet with my fully loaded Jeep....Oops..

There was the trip to Gatlinburg with a group of friends where we had great fun racing each other on the mini-car tracks.  Until we all got kicked off because "apparently" you are supposed to "race" the cars, not play demolition derby with them....picky, picky...

There was the fun trip to Hawaii where we were joined by several different friends for two weeks of fun on the beach.  We had a blast... except for the time we convinced everyone to jump off the rocks at Wiamea Bay into the water and one friend landed in the water wrong and bruised the whole underside of her legs....  or the supposedly easy hike up to the waterfall.... which turned into a mud bath due to recent rainfall-- and said rainfall didn't seem to help the waterfall.... and the time when I talked my non-swimming friend into kayaking out to an offshore island and then snorkeling around it in very rough water (hey, she didn't drown-- I held her hand and helped her)....That was however the same friend that I talked her and her son into joining Keagan and I on the shark cage dive.  (Having done this with me 2 times already on previous trips, and being violently seasick, to the point of chumming, Jeff refuses to go with me).  We had a great time, saw a ton of sharks... also my friends son who is prone to motion sickness may have left that trip with the same disdain for that process that Jeff has....

It's beginning to dawn on me that maybe I'm having a little more fun on the trips than my friends are.  But in my defense, several of the same friends keep signing on for more trips with me... which is making me question the sanity of my friends ;)  Seriously, what is wrong with you people?

But, as I sat there pondering this, I thought to myself-- hey-- those are older stories-- you have been doing much better recently.  And then, another memory popped up in my head. New Years 2016.  A group of us always rents a house somewhere on a beach where we can all gather and spend a few days enjoying the beach and celebrating the new year together.  This group is a busy lot-- with several of them traveling for work, so it's hard to get us all together-- New Year's works for everyone.  2016 was my turn to find the rental house.  And boy did I find one-- it was amazing.  Beach out front, a secluded bay in back-- kayaks, ping pong table, big rooms, big kitchen, a sauna, indoor pool, indoor hot tub, beach bikes...  perfect...  Oh yeah, and water that smelled like sulpher.....every time we used it..... and although we were assured that it was potable and drinkable... we just couldn't..... spent a fortune purchasing and hauling bottled water into the house...

Hmmmmm...... and most recently... just last month.... I made one of my friends throw up on a bus.... in the middle of the Czech Republic...... surrounded by 70 other strangers.    The morning started out with said friend waking up and not feeling great.  We were all doing a river cruise down the Danube River.  He said he couldn't even look at the water in the river.... made him not feel good.... but, in our great wisdom, it was decided that a good healthy breakfast before we started the day would help.  So, poor friend was stuffed full of amazing waffles, and lamb (really, who can ever pass up good lamb?) and best of all they were serving Mimosa's.  Orange juice is good for you right?  Then, we plopped said friend onto a very hot, very full, greyhound tour bus for a two hour scenic ride through mountain ranges and beautifully curvy roads on our way to Czesky Krumlov.  What could possibly go wrong?  Oh, and did I mention that said friend is also prone to motion sickness?  Enough said.  Thank goodness for empty coffee cups....

Ok,  ok... it looks like I need to apologize to everyone who I have pushed, begged, and possibly bribed into taking these crazy trips with me and following my crazy ideas.  We have had some great fun along the way, right?  And you still like me right?  If you don't just go along with it..... I don't need to know.

But I fear, the ones who I owe the biggest apology to is my poor, dear, travel weary, adventure worn family... I usually show you all the "good" fun photos and stories... but I'll show some of the others as well.

This is Keagan after going through the 1000th roman ruin on our Europe trip in 2013.  Doesn't he look thrilled?  

Istanbul is a huge city!  And I was determined to see as much of it as I could.  Jeff and Keagan hit a wall while riding a boat down the Bosphorus..... They both took off their sunglasses and promptly fell asleep.

And doesn't my husband and son look absolutely thrilled to discover that the "Authentic Roman Meal" I signed us up for in Ephesus meant that they threw used and smelly togas on us along with fake grapevine headbands?  Fun memories... I must tell you...

Keagan... yet more roman ruins... he just can't even....

Jeff-- St. Peter's Basilica.. I think at this point, according to my son... we had managed to visit 1001 amazing cathedrals... Doesn't he look like he is in shock and awe?  My son said that it doesn't matter how many cathedrals I walk into,  I always am in awe and I always say, "Isn't this amazing?"  Guilty. Bite me.

My poor, poor, husband... who is deathly afraid of heights... and yet still I manage to get him to climb up into every tower, roof, dome I can.  This is him at the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa... Can you see the reserved panic in his eyes???  He never left the wall... I know, I'm evil.  Bite me.

Oh and then there is this gem... the time when on a Disney cruise I made my whole family dress up as pirates... and take photos... Not shown in this photo are Jeff's parents... who were with us... and in full pirate gear as well...

I made Keagan kiss a stingray.... this photo was taken before the enforced kiss... thus the smile....

Keagan... oh so happy to stand in front of another statue and smile yet again for another photo for mom...

I may or may not have signed my parents and in-laws up for a gazillion hour "extra"tour of the icebergs in Alaska because you know... one iceberg is so drastically different than another... oh, and it began to storm and rain... and we were stuck... on a little boat...watching ice float... for hours.... whatever... they still love me

and just because we had not yet seen enough ice and icebergs and cold in Alaska... I signed Jeff, Keagan, and I up to go on a dog-sled ride at the top of Denver Glacier... Go me!!!  (actually this was really fun)  and our musher was a very cute and pretty young girl, so Keagan didn't mind...

How about the time I drug Jeff and Keagan on a nice relaxing trip to Africa... where we were up at the crack of dawn to get out and see the animals....

Oh, and because South Africa is in the other hemisphere... it was in the middle of their winter... which means temps get down to below freezing overnight... thus the need for down coats...

And we didn't go to bed early because there were animals to be seen after dark as well.....and I wanted photos... and so what?

And the Range Rovers were "Open air" so as not to interfere with the viewing of said animals... which required blankets and hot water bottles in order to keep warm because the non-existant heaters can't heat up all that openness....

and one of the places we went to consisted of us sleeping in tents that were set up on up-raised platforms.  Yup... tents... unheated... no electricity... no wifi...no cell service... Jeff and Keagan were thrilled with that... seriously... The water for the shower was heated with solar energy... meaning hot shower =later in the day.... but not at night... no sun... no light because no electricity...oh and this was the same place where the monkeys stole our breakfast one morning..

Same trip-- I also wanted to see Victoria Falls-- which was cool-- but required the use of the stunning-- runway model perfect--free ponchos that made everyone look like the SNL Coneheads because well.... everything was extremely wet...... big falls= big mist = lots of moisture

 

and last but not least-- same Africa trip is spending 4 hours on a river,  fishing...catching plenty of weeds, sticks, twigs, other anonymous yuck... no fish... oh... and being chased by very angry hippos... because they are territorial... and basically wanted us off the whole river... because MINE... is all they understand...

Oh there are more stories with my two side kicks-- Jeff and Keagan-- than I have time to share.. the time our guide handed Keagan a piece of Zebra poo (and I thought Keagan was going to gag).. to taking a wrong turn thanks to our Italian guidance system in the car and driving through someone's Vineyard... to off-roading in a four person bike in Lucca...

I hope you got a laugh or a giggle out of this light hearted blog.  We all need to laugh at ourselves once in a while.  Laughter is good for the soul!

And by the way... I'm planning a trip... anyone brave enough to join me????

Unfinished Work-- the Beauty of Unfulfilled Dreams

This is the Rondanini Pieta in Milan.  This  marble sculpture is the last great unfinished work by Michelangelo.  He worked on it up until a week before his death in 1564.  There is debate about whether it was left unfinished intentionally or due to his declining health.  This was his last Pieta.  

Michelangelo is famous for his first Pieta sculpture which is housed in St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican.  Here is a photo for comparison:

Quite a difference in sculptures isn't there?  Both done by the same artist.  The St. Peter's Pieta was carved in 1498-1499 and is the first Pieta he ever carved.  People travel from all over the world to view this sculptural piece.  It is beautifully done.  A complete work.  Amazing to see! It is intricate and detailed.  

What is interesting is when you contrast the two pieces, the last one is more minimalistic. Unfinished, and yet it still draws you in.  Even in it's rough state, the emotion carries.  It's hard to believe that the emotional impact could be any greater if the piece had been finished.  One art critic is quoted as saying,

"The elongated rough-hewn figures of Mary and Jesus create an extraordinary impression. On the basis of Michelangelo's late style and his spiritual conversion, it would seem that the rough surface, glowing softly with light and shadow, fulfilled his purposes in a way that no polished and perfected statue could ever have."

In Michelangelo's last days his desire for oneness with God is the inspiration for the Rondanini Pieta and what drives him to create a Pieta more meaningful and magnificent than the Pieta that rests in St. Peter's Basilica.

On his deathbed, Michelangelo said:

"I regret that I have not done enough for the salvation of my soul and that I am dying just as I am beginning to learn the alphabet of my profession."

By all accounts, Michelangelo was sad that he had left what he considered his greatest Pieta unfinished.

But here is what is amazing about this whole story.  The Rondanini Pieta is as well known, as well studied, and as well revered and well liked as his first, finished Pieta.  In fact, there are many who prefer the unfinished work, saying that it conveys more emotion.  That the unfinished work better conveys the meaning of Christ's death and resurrection.  

Ok, here is the part where I ask you to make the leap with me... to apply this to life today.  And I am going to do it by sharing with you some personal events that have recently happened in my life.  However, before doing this,  I ask that you are respectful of what I am about to share because it is deeply personal, and it involves real people and real feelings.  Please do not use this story in a way that is disrespectful to those involved.

This is story about the hopes, dreams, and wishes that every parent has for their children.  And how beautiful it can be when those hopes and dreams change into something new and different and scary and beautiful.  

Much like Michelangelo and his sculptures, I had a dream for my son-- of how he would be someday, of the finished result.  In this dream, the finished sculpture of my son would involve the use of various tools with which he would be molded and chiseled and pieced together.  I think all parents look at their children with this vision of the future.  It is what guides our decisions involving our children.  This vision of the finished product is why we choose how we represent our values,  of where we place the importance of things such as God, family, school, sports, etc.  

Part of the vision I had for my son was that he would go to a traditional college program and end up with a degree and a career that he would find fulfilling and that would provide for him and hopefully for his future family.  It looked like this was on track to happen.  There were a few wobbles here and there, but we had Keagan safely enrolled at a great College.  Life was pretty much tracking in what I perceived to be the right direction.  And then, there came a phone call from my son in February that threw everything off track.  Keagan was desperately unhappy.  He was struggling with finding a vision for his life.  He was considering what I perceived as drastic and disastrous action.  

When my husband and I received this phone call, we tried to be calm and helpful.  We tried to help him see that he wasn't "stuck" but had other, better options (better than the options he was considering) in front of him.  And while we talked to him and prayed with and over him, we tried very hard to simply keep the lines of communication moving forward.  But, deep in my heart, I felt my chisel slip.  You know, the metaphoric chisel that I had used all of his life to help sculpt and mold Keagan closer to my vision of the finished product.  And I started to look at this sculpture in front of me, and it wasn't looking exactly like I had envisioned.  And that was a hard moment.  And it brought with it all of those hard, imperfect feelings of doubt, fear, anger, hurt, disappointment (not in my son, in myself), and pain.  It was like the chisel had slipped and in the process cut into my flesh and left a wound.

And one night, while we were still deep in the hard conversations with our son about the next step, when I couldn't sleep, I felt God so strongly say to me that he needed his chisel back and that I needed to hand it back over to him.  Not exactly in that way-- but that was the essence of the conversation taking place in my heart.  You see, I had forgotten something important in the midst of the crisis.  When Keagan was just a baby, we had a dedication ceremony where we dedicated him to God.  We, Jeff and I, had stood up with family and friends before God and recognized publicly that God was the one who was going to sculpt and mold our son into what God wanted him to be.  We handed him over to God, trusting that God would give us the wisdom we needed to help mold him into His (God's) vision.  And that in this moment, I was trying to wrest that chisel out of God's hand so that I could use it to sculpt and mold my son into my vision of the finished product.  

I wish I could honestly say that after that night I handed the chisel back to God and never tried to lay a hand on it again. But no, unfortunately my personality type has always had a bit of "I'll do it myself" to it, and I've caught my hands reaching out to take the chisel several more times.  And yet, each time I do it, it gets easier and easier for me to recognize what I  am doing and to turn it loose.  

And the even more amazing thing is, each time I find myself turning the chisel loose, God shows up in ways that just blow my mind!  He takes his chisel and adds a stroke to the sculpture of my son that amazes and stuns me with it's beauty.

My son ended up joining the Air Force.  He wants to work on Aerospace Propulsion Systems and the Air Force offers the best way to get the training and experience in that field.  So, we shaved off his hair and he is currently at Basic Training running towards the vision that God has for him.  In order to encourage you let me share with you all the ways in which God has moved to make this new, changing vision of my son beautiful:

1.  Before any of this was even a thought for our family, he made a way for Keagan to take the ASVAB test-- which is a test the military uses for placement.  Most people who take the test study for it just like you would study for the ACT college placement exam. Keagan, with no study, no prep whatsoever,  took the test and scored in the top 2% in the nation for those who take the test.  BUT God....

2. God opened Keagan's ears to those who brought him good and wise counsel and removed those from his life who didn't.  He surrounded my son with good people, including leading my husband to a  local recruiter who helped process my son into the MEPS (the physical process you have to undergo to see if you even qualify) program with 4 days notice.  4 Days!!! Amazing!  But God....

3. He provided my son with a contract that guarantees him training and a job in Aerospace Propulsion Systems.  When he decided to sign up for the Air Force, he was told that the job of Aerospace Propulsions required a high score on the ASVAB (which he had) but wasn't guaranteed to him unless an opening became available.  These positions did not become available very often.  He was told that they would place him in some sort of related mechanical field, but that particular position probably wouldn't be guaranteed.  As Keagan was getting ready to fill out the last of his paperwork before swearing in, there still wasn't an aerospace propulsions systems opening.  As Keagan was filling out the last form, a sergeant came out and pulled him quickly into his office.  ONE Aerospace Propulsions Systems job had become available and they signed Keagan to it right there.  Afterwards, when talking to various recruiters and officers, they were all amazed.  We have been told time and time again that this never happens.  EVER!  But God.....

4. We were thankful and grateful for Keagan getting the position he wanted, however, Keagan's ship out date meant that he would not be able to finish his spring semester at college.  I went with Keagan to help him pack up his dorm and get everything settled with the college, and I have to say that I did this with a somewhat heavy heart.  It was all moving so fast....and we knew that he was past the official withdrawal deadline.  We knew that this meant that he would have F's on his transcript for his spring semester (it's hard to miss finals and the last month of Spring classes and get a passing grade-- wasn't going to happen).  However, having worked at a University for years, I insisted that Keagan meet with his counselor and give her notice of withdrawal anyway, just to at least have that on his transcript record.  His counselor had us apply for Keagan to receive a military withdrawal-- even though we were way past deadlines.  So we did.  And guess what?  BUT God!!!!  Keagan was allowed military withdrawal-- which means his record for spring will show military withdrawal-- no F's... and he will still be in good academic standing with the university.  Amazing!

5.  And then one of the biggest, unexpected but God moments happened just this week.  Jeff and I knew that the money we spent on Keagan's spring semester was gone.  It had already been paid.  Even with a withdrawal, you don't get your money back.  Plus, he had attended half of the semester.  So, we had just let it go and we were moving forward.  But on Monday, I received a check in the mail that refunded a large portion of the tuition for Spring semester.  The reason listed?  Military withdrawal with ship out date before the end of the semester.  BUT God!!!!!

So... I say all this to encourage all of you who may find that your vision of how life is supposed to look isn't meeting your expectations.  Maybe things are not going how you thought they would go.  Maybe the sculpture isn't looking anything like what you had envisioned.  Let me encourage you to turn your chisel over to God, and stand back.   Wait and see... see the vision that God has.

I have had the privilege to see both of the sculptures mentioned above in person.  In fact, those are my own photos of the pieces.  And while at one point in my life I may have been more drawn to the the finished Pieta in St. Peter's Basilica, this year, I am looking at the Rondanini Pieta with fresh eyes.  And I am appreciating the raw beauty to be found in this unfinished work.

Keagan's sculpture right now still looks a lot like the Rondanini Pieta-- unfinished-- and yet, even unfinished, I can see the the beauty of the vision the master has... slowly taking shape... slowly appearing in new and beautiful strokes.  The But God moments showing up in ways that are unplanned by me, but more stunning than anything I could have ever created on my own.  Keagan still has a lot to go through.. Basic Training will be a hard process... but I can't wait to see what is revealed at the end.   Have a good week!!!!!!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."  Jeremiah 29:11